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Original poster

Can I get any financial help?

63 replies

karrliz · 07/07/2023 19:12

Hi,

I currently have a 1 year old with baby no 2 on the way. When I was pregnant with DD I was made redundant, so got a redundancy pay and still got my mat pay.

So I currently don't have a job (stay at home Mummy) which has so far really worked for us.

However with the cost of living going up and the fact we have to remortgage this summer, we could do with some help.

I could get a job, but seems pointless by the time we subtract nursery fees and also I wouldn't apply for mat pay as you have to work somewhere for a year to get that.

I have looked online to see what help we can get but it's all so confusing! My husband earns a good salary, so when I have applied for some of the benefits it says we don't apply. It's really frustrating as he is on a good salary, however it just about covers our outgoings.

I don't know what options we have for help and really worried about remortgaging as it says payments could go up £500 per month!!!

Any advice welcome!

OP posts:
Bromptotoo · 08/07/2023 22:28

ballsdeep · 08/07/2023 22:27

Righto. So everyone works and gives people who want to stay at home money?! A great system that is!!!

Show quote history

Whatever.

Difference of opinion; not worth engaging.

Roundandnour · 08/07/2023 22:42

Write down every songle penny spent over a couple of weeks and properly look where savings can be made. People often only look at the bills when budgeting and forget about the daily coffee, papers, snacks and other often on essentials.

working around each other is also an option. Nope you rarely see each other, however when the bills need paying things have to change.

Sorry but cost of living has been going on for a year or more. Mortgage price hikes have been discussed relentlessly over the past 6 or so months.

transformandriseup · 08/07/2023 22:45

You have mentioned your DH is on a good wage and we don't know what that but probably 40k plus. If this is the case I think it's wouldn't be right to claim money just because it works better for you to be a stay at home mum. By comparison my DH earns less than 25k so if I had chosen to not work we would have been able to claim but the amount would have been too low to cover our essential outgoings so I carried on working and we worked around each other to reduce the cost of childcare and cut back as much as we could.

I'm not suggesting this would work for everyone but if OPs partner is on a much higher wage it hardly seems fair for them to claim before looking at all other options first.

QueenCoconut · 10/07/2023 09:56

This is a second thread I’ve seen in the last few days from a SAHM with well -earning partner asking about financial help due to increased cost of living. Mortgages going up and overall COL inflation is going to put pressure on household finances where only 1 person works in paid employment (even with good salary), and yet we are seeing women refusing to consider employment as an obvious solution to the situation. I think a lot of people over the next few years are going to have to wake up.

Loverofoxbowlakes · 10/07/2023 10:46

There is a cap on income earned for benefit entitlement for a reason - everyone needs to learn to live within their means. If your dh is earning over £50k (which I think is the cut off for child benefit) then no, I don't think there should be any state support for your family. SAHM is a lifestyle choice. Get a job or cut your cloth accordingly. Everyone is tightening belts at the moment op, you can't afford to not work.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/07/2023 11:00

I think the quickest route is to pick up evening and weekend work while your dh is home with dc1.

Hagpie · 10/07/2023 23:52

I’m a second vote for entitledto.co.uk . You may not be eligible now but play around with it and see if you would be when you account for the average cost of childcare in your area. You might be surprised!

I claimed UC during maternity leave and it turns out I’ll still be eligible when I go back.

For context I will get £2520 working 2 jobs, my partner £1900 and we will get £240 child benefit and £1150 UC of which £1000 will pay the childcare. It’s a very unfair system, when we earned £1200 total as a carer and lived with parents, I was over the threshold.

If I stuck with one job I would get £1800, partner £1900, £240 child benefit and £1400 UC with no childcare to pay for but I need NHS experience if I want to study medicine. (See what I mean about it making no sense?)

If your partner is just over, play around with pension contributions as they only look at “take home pay.” Aka if I was to up my pension contributions, then I would get more UC and maybe you could work it just enough to make you eligible for the next two £300 COL payments. Commenters here are just bitter…. play the game, upskill and have a better life.

Hagpie · 11/07/2023 00:02

Second scenario with working one job is supposed to be £400 not £1400.

froidIci · 11/07/2023 06:42

Assuming the thread isn’t a wind up..

I am the mother of 2 small children, and a higher rate tax payer. My partner and I both work FT and it’s a very fine balancing act juggling work and life. Can you please tell me why we should keep working at paying those taxes so that another parent - just like us a parent of two small children - can sit at home and be supported to do so by taxes?

loudbatperson · 11/07/2023 06:58

Assuming no disabilities or caring responsibilities, the starting point should be how you can maximise your income, not what help you can get.

If you cannot afford to stay at home without being topped up, you cannot afford to be a stay at home parent.

Work different times to your DH as much as possible to reduce childcare costs.

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/07/2023 21:30

As others said you will have to get a job

Whether evenings nights or weekends so dh has them and no childcare costs

Augustus40 · 14/07/2023 14:10

There is often warehouse work going weekends aiming at families and stude nts. No experience needed. Look on Indeed thebigjobsite and other such sites. Have found this to be the case when ds was looking. Might make all the difference with money.

DamnUserName21 · 21/07/2023 11:43

OP, if you have used the benefit calculators correctly and get 0 award then you are likely not eligible aside from an increase in child benefit.

I think your H can use some of your tax allowance:
https://www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance

I do agree with PPs that working (if only part time) will benefit you in terms of returning to full time work later on and contributing to a work pension.

Marriage Allowance

Marriage Allowance allows you to transfer some of your Personal Allowance to your husband, wife or civil partner: what you get and how to apply for free.

https://www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance

DamnUserName21 · 21/07/2023 11:45

And it always advisable nowadays not to fully rely on a H by staying out of work because you never know what may happen 10-20 years in the future...

littlemousebigcheese · 21/07/2023 12:01

Christ people are harsh, it's such a race to the bottom here. 'I had to work and be a miserable cow who never saw my kids so you should too'
Working alternate shifts sounds great to someone who doesn't have to do it but looking after two children all day and then working at night? That sounds really hard and exhausting.

Can your husband earn more? Pay rise for example? I don't know what the solution is tbh, lots of studies show it's beneficial for young children to have a parent at home and not go into nursery/childcare setting too soon yet the government has screwed us over so much that it's almost impossible to do that. A few tight years until funding kicks in at 3? Remortgage?

Jimminir · 21/07/2023 13:45

Why have another baby if you can’t afford it.

thatsnotmylifeitstoocrazy · 21/07/2023 13:47

Get a job at evenings/weekends? Or do something online…

thatsnotmylifeitstoocrazy · 21/07/2023 13:48

MrsSamR · 07/07/2023 20:15

Oh I hate these threads! Why should you get help? You chose to have a second child and were aware what childcare would cost. I'm going back to work in October after my second mat leave. Childcare will cost more than I earn for both children but I'm doing it for pension contributions and long-term employability. If your husband earns too much to receive UC that's because you can afford to live on his salary. Either reduce your outgoings or get a job and stop being so entitled. Why should other people subsidise you being a SAHM?

The bit about UC us utter rot! Who are you to say what op can afford?

Jimminir · 21/07/2023 13:53

thatsnotmylifeitstoocrazy · 21/07/2023 13:48

The bit about UC us utter rot! Who are you to say what op can afford?

Show quote history

The op is moaning. If her partner earns to much she shouldn’t get UC. She needs to work instead of keep having kids she can’t afford

QforCucumber · 21/07/2023 14:01

if you were to work you would also potentially be eligible for tax free childcare which knocks 20% off the childcare bill - this brings our FT nursery fees down to £40 a day instead of £50. That's all the help most people get.

We could all do with some help and you don't have to have worked somewhere a year to qualify for SMP, it's 26 weeks at the 27th week of pregnancy, however some hours now may mean that by your qualifying week you'll could be entitled to Maternity allowance

DH salary Doesn't cover our outgoings, so we both HAVE to work, and there's no govt help out there for us - but it is what it is and we chose to have a 4 year age gap for it.

CovertImage · 21/07/2023 14:15

For context I will get £2520 working 2 jobs, my partner £1900 and we will get £240 child benefit and £1150 UC of which £1000 will pay the childcare. It’s a very unfair system

Yea, £1,150 UC on top of £4,420 in wages and £240 child benefit sounds very "unfair", FFS

CC4712 · 21/07/2023 14:18

How far along are you? What was your previous role? Get evening/night/weekend work. Is there something you could do from home whilst your partner minds the baby?

Sprogonthetyne · 21/07/2023 14:20

How far along are you? If your near the beginning of your pregnancy, you might have time to become self employed for enough weeks (26 beforebabies due) to qualify for maternity allowance. Is there anything freelance you can do from home? Even a few hours a week buying & selling on ebay when babies in bed.

fetchacloth · 21/07/2023 14:23

MrsSamR · 07/07/2023 20:15

Oh I hate these threads! Why should you get help? You chose to have a second child and were aware what childcare would cost. I'm going back to work in October after my second mat leave. Childcare will cost more than I earn for both children but I'm doing it for pension contributions and long-term employability. If your husband earns too much to receive UC that's because you can afford to live on his salary. Either reduce your outgoings or get a job and stop being so entitled. Why should other people subsidise you being a SAHM?

Totally agree. The taxpayer is soaked enough as it is😒

QforCucumber · 21/07/2023 14:54

@Hagpie are you renting for that value of UC? We have 2 kids, when I returned to work I looked at the calculator, my income net 1750 and DH 2150 and even with FT childcare costs of £1050 a month UC offered us £27 a month (mn told me to look as people were certain the childcare would be paid for, I was not) We're better off with the tax free childcare account, but UC doesn't ever pay towards the mortgage.