Financial situation worse - considering moving back to parents?

[anniz91]

Hi everyone!

So me and my husband are currently in a bit of a bad financial situation.

We live in London rent is expensive, we have a baby. My husband decided to pursue his business full time. I’m currently on maternity leave but the money that comes in from that barely covers anything. Universal credit income is a joke and child benefit too.

We are considering moving back to my parents but I feel so embarrassed to ask but I know we are struggling weekly.

How do I break the news to them?
Has anyone ever been in this situation?
We just want to move back for a year so we can safe some money to rent a house in a cheaper area outside of london.

It’s not the situation where you break the news. You need to ask them first. I don’t think moving in with them to save for rent for a year is good approach though. Rent is something you should afford month to month, not save in advance. Your husband should go back to full time job, maybe it’s not the best time to pursue his own business without regular income

@anniz91

Fml really?

Give your head a wobble and your dh at the same time.

To pursue a new business venture whilst your on maternity leave is quite possibly the stupidest thing he could do as you also have your own child to be responsible for??

The benefit system is a joke at times but that's a different matter.

In your case it isn't there to prop up the family of a fucking irresponsible man

And why should
Your parents have to have all 3 of you living bak at home???

Be grown ups

Both my adult DC have had to move back home with us, as they are struggling financially. Whilst we haven't exactly welcomed them with open arms, as we were enjoying being Empty Nesters, there was logically no other option as neither of them could afford their monthly rent any more.

But

They're both working, full-time (or as full as the specific contracts will allow). One DC receives some UC because their wage is unpredictable as well as low. They both work hard.

If I thought they were making choices - like your husband is - that were limiting their income, they would get very short shrift.

Your husband needs to at the very least delay his business until you're back at work.

Stop blaming the benefits system for not giving you enough money to live on. And stop assuming that your parents will just take all three of you in.

No, you both need to start adulting and get jobs. You both sound immature and entitled. He is not entitled to his business, you are not entitled to crash your parents lives.

What stage of mat leave are you at?

I took it that the DH would move in too....

My husband decided to pursue his business full time.

Do you mean he quit a paying job and now isn't earning enough to keep a roof over your heads? If so he needs to go back to work until his business actually pays enough to live on.

He needs a proper job. It’s your roles to fund your family, not your mum and dad.

Your husband has chosen to leave his job to start a business at the worst possible time.
Your husband doesn't want you to return to work.
Your husband wanted to rehome your cats when baby came along and blamed you for getting them even though you'd both wanted them previously.
Your husband comes to see the baby for an hour each day.

If you were my daughter there's no way I'd want this reckless, selfish and controlling man living under my roof. I'd welcome you and the baby for a while whilst you separated from him and found your feet as a single parent.

Your husband needs to work full time and part time on his business. Could you not move to a cheaper area?

You mut be ready for your parents to say they do not want you to move in with them.

Well first before you consider it properly you need to ask them. You can’t just assume and break the news to them. Secondly, why can’t your DH get a full time job and leave his business venture for when you’re in a more stable position? And you could go back to work instead of staying on mat leave.

Probably your best solution is to both work full time. Only way DH and I can cover the bills.

No sign of the OP ?

Your husband needs to get at least a part time job while his business is getting off the ground. He needs to earn a a regular income to compensate for the irregular business earnings.

You need to go through your earnings and out goings and cut down on unnecessary spends. It is both of your responsibility to manage your finances rather than depending on other people to help you out.

Get yourself a remote admin job:

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs?keywords=administration&radius=10&workplace=remote

By all means ask. If they have room then sure any parents wouldn't say no

I have similar here. Dh son ,my step son in 30's split up with partner so he moved back in with us and has his daughter (grandaughter) to stay every few nights

While saves and will rent elsewhere

You need to have a clear plan

Your dh needs to get a job. Not follow his dreams

You & the baby would be welcome if you were my dd & asked for a room.

Mr Entrepeneur, not so much. He can find a room in a shared house, & either get a real job or make his 'business' pay.

You & dgc could rejoin him when <cough> he had that sorted.

I moved in with my parents in my early 30s following redundancy. I was completely out of options and felt dreadful, like a failure and they took me in with open arms. It was the best thing I could have possibly done. Left London, found a new job and managed to save enough for a deposit on a flat which I never would have been able to do if I'd continued to rent. I was always close to my parents, but think I am a lot closer now as a result of moving back home with them.

I was single at the time, so not sure how things would have been if I had moved a husband and child into their home. I guess it depends a lot on how well your DP gets on with your parents, how much space is available in the house and what everybody's expectations are regarding duration of stay, boundaries, financial contributions, division of labour re cooking, cleaning etc