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Original poster

I honestly cannot afford to live

632 replies

Inkdrinker · 06/02/2023 15:24

I work 40 hour weeks, yet I was paid 6 days ago and I'm already completely out of money. My rent is more than half of my pay, council tax is a further 250 pounds, my energy bills are ridiculous despite trying to cut down on using so much.

I have 3 kids to look after. How are people going survive this? This is by no means a ploy to ask others for money, I do not want anyone's money. I just want to know I'm not alone in this situation

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 06/02/2023 19:11

@29052022J
Jesus!! One hundred pounds for a nursery place per day!! Crikey Moses. £200 for two kids. That's £50,000 per year!!

catskittens · 06/02/2023 19:13

Lordofmyflies · 06/02/2023 17:40

It is utterly shit OP and sadly I don't think it's going to become easier any time soon. Both I and DH work full time 40-60 hours each a week. We are tired, snappy, struggling to avoid payments for rent for Ds at Uni (£900 month). We don't smoke, don't drink, don't have gym memberships, have a small car and modest home and worked really hard for 20 years, going to uni, getting a profession and living by the book. There must be more to life!

your DC needs to get student loans to help with the cost of uni and maybe a part time job or is she not eligible for that?

LikeTearsInRain · 06/02/2023 19:15

Try too good to go app you can get loads of food from like greggs RRP £15 but for like £3 keep you all fed and warm

kitcat15 · 06/02/2023 19:16

itsmenoreally · 06/02/2023 18:19

She's not. I would hate to have to have 3 at Uni at the same time. Also 3 don't really fit well in the family car.

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If I had my time over...I would have stopped at 2 ( obvs wouldn't be without my 3rd now ( 23 now).....or his lovely little girl my GD....but I honestly think any more than 2 IS a luxury especially now...... my DD has 2 little DDs ....she was considering a third but decided against as she wants to be able to give her girls a nice life and she would have to compromise on this with 3 children.......if the children are already here then its irrelevant....but I would imagine many now are having only 1 or 2 xhildren now for these reasosns

Happygirl79 · 06/02/2023 19:17

CriticalAlert · 06/02/2023 19:09

I totally understand your despair. I am 68 and worried sick about money, this is not what I expected in old age. I have state pension and a small private pension. I can't get any benefits because these pensions take me over the threshold, which is ludicrous because they're tiny. I can't see how I am going to manage when EVERYTHING goes up again in April.

Can you maybe use a pantry service that's near you? You pay a fiver or so and get the food they have. I mean beggars can't be choosers but it's better than nothing.
My big concern is the rise in fuel costs and I worry about getting hypothermia. Bu I sometimes think now that would be a good way of going. At least I wouldn't have to face this god awful despair day in and day out. I have never seen this country in such an appalling state, no one seems to give a damn.

I sympathise with you. I am 69 . I live alone. My financial situation is very similar to yours. My little private pension takes me ten pounds a year over the limit to claim any help.I am spending 1/3 of my state pension on energy bills alone. Not the retirement I had hoped for after working full time since age of 16

catskittens · 06/02/2023 19:20

Rowthe · 06/02/2023 19:07

Part of the problem is the housing market in this country.

There needs to be good quality affordable social housing available.

Not only will it be affordable but will help peoples mental health so much knowing that they have a reliable roof over their head.

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i agree but lets not forget those parents that give their dc's a good deposit or buy them a flat or house

it's on here all the time about parents helping their kids which causes stock to diminish price's keep rising and out prices the ones that have no help

Anono2022 · 06/02/2023 19:21

Single parent here and I really dont know how much longer I can do this for. And I only have 1. I've stripped everything back and have no social life, or fun. My son doesn't either and it feels shit.

I work in a school and its sad to see how inundated we are with families needing help too. You aren't alone

Mangolist · 06/02/2023 19:23

Chewbecca · 06/02/2023 19:05

Uni maintenance loans are based on household income but the maximum a family is ‘expected’ to top up is just over £5k a year and many students can manage receiving less than that, especially if they work PT. No student should need £1k pm from family, something has gone wrong there.

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We didn't pay that much, no, but rent deposits for two of the years and general topping up was a big dent.

TheChosenTwo · 06/02/2023 19:24

catskittens · 06/02/2023 18:54

why is 1 child costing you over £1k a month

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Because her rent is expensive and then we send her money to live on.

catskittens · 06/02/2023 19:26

TheChosenTwo · 06/02/2023 19:24

Because her rent is expensive and then we send her money to live on.

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so she is not allowed a maintanance loan then you earn to much
how much is her rent?

gettingalifttothestation · 06/02/2023 19:26

ShimmeringShirts · 06/02/2023 16:32

@TheChosenTwo i did mean when they no longer live at home!

That's no longer an option for most teenagers they can't afford it till much older now

catskittens · 06/02/2023 19:33

jmh740 · 06/02/2023 18:29

My oh had to leave work last Feb due to ill health. We are claiming everything we can but its so hard I've got hardly anything left in the bank after being paid last week, its half term next week and dds 16th birthday and I can't afford to do anything.
I'm so worried about next year when we move from tax credits to UC and lose a lot of disability benefits and dd is off to college in Sept I'm already worried about transport costs and money for lunches etc.
I'm really not enjoying g life there's nothing to look forward to

why will your money be going down next year?iydmma

Lou670 · 06/02/2023 19:37

@catskittens Oh I am sorry for helping daughter get on the property ladder. She is a nurse and can't afford a mortgage on her single wage. However my Mum had to die (her grandma) in order for me to be able to help her. Maybe I should have thought about people who rent before making this decision.

LakieLady · 06/02/2023 19:38

grumpycow1 · 06/02/2023 18:44

I live in a band D tiny terrace house and pay £250+ (Although not Feb and March) -
depends what part of the country you are in

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Council tax, £134 a month, is my biggest bill by quite some distance, at least until my energy fixed deal ends later this year. It would be £174 if there were 2 adults, so £84.50.

It's over £2k a year without the discount and I'm only in band C (small 2-bed semi). There are rumours it's going up by 4% or 5% in April, but the council hasn't set the budget yet.

I really resent it, especially the chunk that goes to the town council, who spend it all on administration and only manage the town cemetery and venue that can be hired for functions.

Babyroobs · 06/02/2023 19:41

Mangolist · 06/02/2023 19:01

The reason, I am surmising, that university students cost so much (we had this too) is that the loan is means tested on parental income. Even if you are earning a reasonable sum, the amount needed to give your child a reasonable life at university can be immense. With the cost of everything going mad, what seemed like an ok income for, say two parents and two school aged kids, suddenly goes mad when they get to university.
What do you do? Not pay anything so they can't manage - even with a part time job?
Our son had a part time job, we are on a pretty low income really, but we still had to fork out a fair whack just to make sure he could do it.

Our ds3 went to Uni in September and for his accommodation they asked for £5200 between sept and January with another £1500 due in march. The loan he has been awarded no where near covers this accommodation and enough to live on , although he is not the type to go out drinking or socializing much. Dh and I are not on high wages yet have to contribute hundreds each month towards this accommodation. He should be finding part time work but it seems hard to push him on this as he is struggling with the work load from Uni as it is. We can just about do it as fortunately our mortgage is paid off but it is increasingly difficult with rising bills and another younger child also. We have already helped on older ds through Uni as well and fortunately he has graduated and is contributing a small amount to household costs although not much as his graduate earnings are appalling and travel costs high as he cannot afford to live anywhere near his place of work !! Thank goodness my work contract has been extended another 3 years. If dd wants to go to Uni next year as well and we have to do the same for her then we are truly stuffed. I'm trying not to think that far ahead. Everything seems stacked against young people these days. At least we got grants to cover Uni and didn't start off adult life in tons of debts. It all seems hopeless.

catskittens · 06/02/2023 19:43

Lou670 · 06/02/2023 19:37

@catskittens Oh I am sorry for helping daughter get on the property ladder. She is a nurse and can't afford a mortgage on her single wage. However my Mum had to die (her grandma) in order for me to be able to help her. Maybe I should have thought about people who rent before making this decision.

and thats why everyday joe cant afford to buy they are priced out by you
there is no level playing field and dropping in your daughter is a nurse and a death is all for the sympathy vote

Riv · 06/02/2023 19:43

I think some of you must have very cheap council tax! Band D here is £215 over 12 months (I’m “up North “ so officially in a lower CoL area)
It’s tough here too. Not much work, mainly minimum wage so no chance to earn more. Even graduates with high grade degrees (firsts or 2.1) are earning just over minimum and well under the average £27,000 wage. Food banks are oversubscribed. Rents are going up, transport is very expensive (£6.50 single into town) and rare, I think one bus an hour is standard and it’s usually pulled around school pick up time. I don’t know how you can manage with little ones and only one wage. It’s hard enough with two.
Sending 💐

Toddlerteaplease · 06/02/2023 19:48

Do you pay your council tax by direct debit? February and march are the months that you don't pay it. ( well at least in my city)

itsgettingweird · 06/02/2023 19:49

If you're paying arrears on CT then approach the council. You shouldn't be paying debt off above an outgoing you can survive on. Ask for a reduction in the arrears each month.

MissMarplesbag · 06/02/2023 19:50

www.moneysavingexpert.com/

JadeSeahorse · 06/02/2023 19:51

@PatChaumceysFruitcake. Your MIL is not alone unfortunately!

Yes it was tough at times and extremely tough for many but, IME, not comparable with what is happening today.☹️

OP, I really hope you find some help from somewhere. Where the hell are people just expected to magic up hundreds of pounds extra every month. If people had that level of spare money wouldn't everyone be living in huge detached houses, booking holidays to the Caribbean
etc. I just don't know how many people are managing.😥

NeedAHoliday2021 · 06/02/2023 19:52

@Babyroobs I’m dreading this. Dd1 will likely be in her final year when dtds go to uni. Dh and I earn week so won’t get support but no idea how we’ll cover all 3 of them. We planned 2 dc but 2nd pregnancy was twins 🤷🏻‍♀️

GuyFawkesDay · 06/02/2023 19:55

Had a shock at recent uni reunion. Our old college is now £9k a year to live in. Plus tuition fees. Plus living expenses.

It's easily £1k a month!

LuluBlakey1 · 06/02/2023 19:55

Don't know if all Morrisons do this and I know it's a short term 'fix' but our Morrisons put bags of free food on a big shelf thing just after people get past the checkouts on the way out. They do it every day. They are labelled eg pasties, croissants, potatoes and a cake or bread, pie, chips and bananas. They need to be used pretty quickly .

catskittens · 06/02/2023 19:56

but how will things get better
will food.petrol utilities come down to pre pandemic levels?

also interest rates and rent (because rents wont go down even if interest rates do)so will be sky high how will this rectify itself in years to come?genuine ???

because these seem to be the items that have shot up