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Any one else just skint?

61 replies

LittlemissMama67 · 26/01/2023 14:23

Hello, I think I'm just looking for anyone who can relate so I don't feel so alone really? Anyone just always seem to be skint? My partner has a fairly way paid job £35,000 after tax. And I well don't I earn £500 a month, but we have 3 children and I basically work to pay for the car and the rent. Our rent is very cheap £300 a month because we're renting from family so we're very fortunate in that respect but even with £40,000 a year coming in we just always seem to be scraping the barrel. And im not trying to be like oh woe is me because I know a lot of people have it far worse and when I was a single mum my money didn't stretch as far as bills and we often ate not much. But now things are better and they're still so not okay 😳

my partner is paid weekly so we always know more is only a few days away, but he gets paid tommorow and I just had to scrape 4 separate bank accounts I have to send him £3 to get a meal deal while he's at work. What the hell is actually going on???

OP posts:
Caramac555 · 29/01/2023 09:12

Maryquitecontrary55 · 29/01/2023 08:35

I'm not surprised you're skint if your total household income is only 40 grand and you have three kids. That's not very much in 2023. I would work towards increasing your hours or earning power when you're youngest gets older. That's going to be your main tool to do better financially. Look at doing some online courses.

I don't think this is judgy, I think it's matter of fact. 40k in some parts of the country is no longer a particularly great income with 3 kids and prices rising.

I also looked at getting a higher paid job when my kids got older. They are now teenagers and eat me out of house and home so I've needed that money. So encouraging a long term plan to boost income seems fair advice to me

LittlemissMama67 · 29/01/2023 09:24

I do want to earn more money but atm with only 1 or my 3 children of school age an autistic daughter who requires a lot of my attention and a 4 month old baby it isn't really an option at the moment sadly

OP posts:
mumda · 29/01/2023 09:37

Benefit top ups? Entitled to website will help.

Then write down all bills and workout where the money has to go and then look at where the rest of it spends. Writing down every bit spent before you spend it is useful and tedious but makes you consider every spend.

Tap contactless is awfully easy to forget.

HistoryFanatic · 29/01/2023 09:39

mumda · 29/01/2023 09:37

Benefit top ups? Entitled to website will help.

Then write down all bills and workout where the money has to go and then look at where the rest of it spends. Writing down every bit spent before you spend it is useful and tedious but makes you consider every spend.

Tap contactless is awfully easy to forget.

I don't think OP is entitled to anything. I am presuming she has a mortgage.

HistoryFanatic · 29/01/2023 09:42

Actually ignore that she does rent. Not sure if she would get much though.

LittlemissMama67 · 29/01/2023 09:56

not entitled to anything as my partners income before tax is too high. Which also means my daughter gets no nursery hours untill September

OP posts:
IhearyouClemFandango · 29/01/2023 10:20

She's also not skint, just not budgeting so needs to be smarter with money not claim more

grayhairdontcare · 29/01/2023 10:36

In the nicest possible way.
You are not Skint
You are just not budgeting properly and are fed up because you can't buy or do what you want

HistoryFanatic · 29/01/2023 10:46

IhearyouClemFandango · 29/01/2023 10:20

She's also not skint, just not budgeting so needs to be smarter with money not claim more

I was going to say suggesting benefits to someone who is obviously not skint and whom just needs to learn money management is a bit annoying.

LittlemissMama67 · 29/01/2023 10:48

I agree I'm not skint, we don't worry about paying our bills there's always money left over when they're all paid. We can afford birthdays and Christmas and days out planned out in advance, we all have decent clothes H&M, next ect we don't generally where named brands but I don't care about things like that. Our home is comfortable You're right I'm just fed up and that's all it is. I don't want to claim benefits, I've been there and now I don't need too I don't want to, they're not for me.

I just would love to be able to have spontaneous days out with the kids and not worry about what that will mean for the rest of the week.

im sure we can all agree we could all do with a little extra money in the bank at any given moment

OP posts:
LittlemissMama67 · 29/01/2023 10:49

I've just read what I said and when I said they're not me I don't want that to be taken in a snobby way, I mean they are genuinely not for me, I don't qualify not that I look down on benefits

OP posts:
AtomicBlondeRose · 29/01/2023 10:53

I agree with the saving pots ideas.

Without being smug, the tyre and the birthday wouldn’t have come out of my disposable income because I have a “car” pot and a “birthday” pot. As soon as I get paid I put m key in both of those, as well as a Christmas one and several others. I mean, yes it’s from my disposable income but I never see it or regard it as spendable. Then when something arises I can dip into the pot without fear. It means I often have very little in my current account but that’s not an issue because there’s money in the “food” or “fun” pots.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 29/01/2023 10:54

Honestly with artificially low rent and £80-£300 spare cash each week, I don't see that you are in bad shape.

Is the housing situation permanent? Because that would be the obvious risk.

LittlemissMama67 · 29/01/2023 10:58

Yes we're renting from my partners dad and we're going to buy this house when we have saved for a deposit which we're also trying to but it's snails pace progress at the moment. I should mention I'm on maternity leave too. So hopefully when I go back to work in June I can try and get more hours but with the shape supermarkets are in at the moment it's unlikely. They don't want people doing tne shifts they've got. Oh the joys of self service 🫠

OP posts:
caringcarer · 29/01/2023 11:15

Start off by getting him to make a sandwich and take an apple. If he buys a meal deal for £3 5 days a week £15. Sandwich and fruit each day max £1 a day. So you'd save a tenner. Do your kids have school lunches too? If so send them a sandwich and fruit too save more money.

caringcarer · 29/01/2023 11:16

You can't get benefits if you rent from family.

ethermint · 29/01/2023 11:18

it does sound as though you are spending a lot given your super cheap rent. How much is your car and bills?

Where does your money go and on what?

evtheria · 29/01/2023 11:18

If you have built up a large buffer eg a month's pay, you can afford to just put away a set amount each week for the month's bills. Say, total set bills & outgoings are £2000, you could transfer £500 each week and not think about it ever going short. But when you don't have that buffer you really have to track things for each separate week!

We get paid weekly in this household too, and are on less income + more than 2x your rent, but only 2 children. I found I was chasing my arse with planning for the typical 'monthly' bills. Changed to week by week basis and it worked brilliantly for us. This may be useful for you, or not, but I'll try be clear about what I did:

1- Confirm your total monthly income that goes into your banks, 4 x pay

2- Confirm every single bill plus its date and any regular outgoing - this includes each adult's spending money (honestly, if you're skint this should be zero/minimal or a set amount eg £15 pw). Don't forget debts - if you pay them monthly, divide by 4 and this is a weekly amount included in your list. Yours would be £89 put away each payday.

3- Get a blank calendar month with the numbered days, and note down the date each bill goes out.
Make a list on the side of outgoings that aren't monthly bills, but you'd need to budget for in each week eg the food shop, petrol, 25% of rent.
Any less regular bills eg a quarterly subscription, you note it on the calendar day it would go out but in brackets/different colour. If it's a high amount, see next.
Don’t just rely on your memory, look through your statement for the last 12 weeks to see what you’ve been spending on. Print them out and use highlighters to show bills vs unnecessary spending in your household account.

4- Are there any huge irregular bills like annual car insurance? Figure out how many weeks until next one, divide ££ by weeks and now that is also a new weekly 'bill' you must add to your calendar. If you're lucky you'll have recently paid any big irregular bill, so you'll have a smaller amount to save over more weeks. The money you save for it each week you actually put aside in either a separate account, cash envelope, or a specific pot like the ones on the Monzo app, until it's time to actually pay it.

5- Now: you can look ahead and see how much is going to be needed in a particular week. It won't always be the same. Like you have noticed, the remaining amount will fluctuate, and along with that will be your ability to spend outside of bills or to save, and the risk of going over what you've got for that week will increase/decrease.

6- Let's look at February to use this weekly budget. I have attached example pics of a (very simplified!) 'bill calendar' and the weekly budgets of Feb.
Let’s assume you get paid on Fridays. You check the date of each Friday, that will start the 7-day period you will match on the bills calendar. So for Feb the budgets will be 3rd-9th, 10th-16th, 17th-22nd, 23rd-1stMar.
What bills are going to fall within that particular ‘pay week’?
Add all your weekly outgoings from your list! Total up.
For now, since you are experiencing shortfalls, do not automatically transfer all the leftover money into personal accounts.
Write out the budgets for the next few weeks so you can predict where the future ‘high’ weeks will be, which means needing more leftover money in the account to cover them.

7- Once you can see you have a decent amount left from each week, you can make safe guesses about how much to leave in as bill buffer, and how much to put aside for things like emergency savings, family clothing, presents, etc. Again, best putting these latter ones away separate to your bill account.

IMPORTANT: You and your partner need to be very clear and committed to both keeping the bills account just for these planned outgoings, and for not spending all the week’s leftover money! If you find you can afford it, increase your weekly ‘spending money’, but update your list so it’s always planned and gets spent from your personal accounts.
A big bill buffer that stays in the account means you will be able to just work off a monthly budget and transfer an equal amount each week, knowing that overall everything will go out no problem, no need to write out the next 4, 8 etc weeks!

Any one else just skint?
Any one else just skint?
Any one else just skint?
evtheria · 29/01/2023 11:23

Sorry, just read your updates.
Sounds like you obviously know you have the income to cover your bills, but may actually be just going through statements and realizing you are spending more on non-essentials than you can afford ie you can spend £300pm but you're actually spending £400. After confirming it is/isn't the case, a no-spend or low-spend Feb should put your account back on track to keep ahead of your budget.

Caterina99 · 29/01/2023 11:33

DH used to get paid every 2 weeks and I did find it harder to budget for at first as I was used to a monthly salary payment and a lot of our bills were monthly.

I changed some of our standing orders to later in the month so that everything wasn’t all coming out at once.

Also with weekly/2 weekly pay assume you are getting paid 4 or 2 times a month and then twice a year there were months where we got an extra payday, which was really helpful for savings!

Definitely try the pots method to help smooth out your cash flow. Your issue isn’t that you don’t have the money, it’s that you don’t have a buffer or good cash flow to cope with unexpected costs like a new car seat.

NameChangedForThissss · 29/01/2023 11:36

I think 40k household salary is low for a biggish family.

slowquickstep · 29/01/2023 11:45

Take out money on pay day for the rest of the week and don't use your bank cards. It's amazing what you won't buy if using cash, to see your purse emptying makes you question that meal deal or the 5 extra things you put in the basket when you have only popped in for bread.

mydogisthebest · 29/01/2023 12:04

You have a 4 month old baby so you chose to have another child even though you don't think you have enough money to take the children out?

I don't understand why people have 3 or more children and then complain they don't have any money.

Preseli · 29/01/2023 12:32

NameChangedForThissss · 29/01/2023 11:36

I think 40k household salary is low for a biggish family.

She said post Tax so the household income is more likely around 56k which is pretty reasonable considering she's on maternity leave and doesn't work full time (also why they aren't entitled to benefits)

Preseli · 29/01/2023 12:51

I would almost certainly say that you feel this way because you get paid weekly and not monthly so you are always looking at lower amounts ie. £80/£300 a week disposable vs £320/1200 monthly. It's a lot easier to see £80 and just say that's not worth saving, we can get a takeaway/ go out every week.

It's always harder to budget when it comes in weekly - so I would do what others have suggested in changing direct debits and standing orders and just saving all income for the month so that it feels like you are on a monthly schedule.

The main issue I would say is the lack of savings to cover unexpected expenses like car seats - on that kind of income I would expect to have some in reserve to spend on these things and so if I were you I would certainly look at putting an emergency pot aside - on your income it shouldn't take long to save that!

For context I am on the same income our outgoings (including food etc and a £900 mortgage) are £1800pm and we still manage to save roughly £1000 a month - we have savings and pots for expected expenses (so for example £50 a month goes to a car insurance pot so we don't suddenly get a big bill one month that comes out of 1 paycheck)

You already see that you aren't skint from looking at your past when you were - you just need to make sure lifestyle creep stops now and you get a hold of it now maybe go back to living frugally for a couple of months to give yourself a bit of a kick start. Having fun doesn't have to cost any money 🙂