Are you going to struggle for gifts this year?

[nancydroo]

Last year I changed jobs to part time following a bereavement. I was able to afford presents last year but it was more scaled down gift wise and DS 10 said he was disappointed. DD 5 was happy enough but her presents are cheaper and looked bigger.

This year I have managed to cover bills but not been able to put any money away for Christmas and I'm worried DS is going to be even more disappointed. He asked for something which cost £600 and I said no. Then he asked for an older version of the item which I still can't afford. Rightly or wrongly, I then suggested he would need to think of something that matches the household that he lived in. His birthday is just after Christmas which makes it a bit harder.

Is anyone else going to seriously struggle this year or do you have any suggestions how I can make Christmas less focused on presents but about time spent together etc.

Every year seems to get harder. I have no emotional resilience to return to previous employment and it would end in disaster.

Its heart breaking when you can't give them what they want, but £600 is a massive amount for a present. I'd explain that Santa/parent has an average limit. Xmas including food has never cost us more than £400. A limit for us, DD and my DM (we're all she's got). Everyone else wine on 25% discount. We visited garden centre last weekend and candles, diffusers, handcream and pampering packs has 75% off. It was all genuinely nice stuff, so I bought lots for about £20.

Great idea on the Santa limit 😊 we don't get adults anything I'm afraid. We just get the joys of Christmas 😂

Just sending you a couple of links of things I do toward Xmas. I do surveys with AttaPoll for an hour a night, my favourite is AttaPoll. I usually make 2 to 3 quid a night and transfer it to Revolut on a Monday morning, it's usually between 10 to 15 pounds a week. I have 340 pounds saved up for Xmas now and it's not touched my usual wages and budget. With this link you get 40p to start off.

I'm inviting you to join AttaPoll. Get paid to take surveys. Download the app here: attapoll.app/join/skawm

The other thing I do is buy everything online through quidco its a cashback site. The biggest money earners is I renew insurances each year. So I got 70 pounds cashback for renewing my pet insurance for example, 35. For renewing my life insurance.I've earnt 230 pounds so far this year. It takes forever to come through so I leave it all for Xmas. I also got 25 pounds bonus last Xmas for doing all my other present shopping, flowers to my aunty etc. When it gets to Xmas uou can exchange it for a voucher and get an extra 10 per cent. I exchange for Nike or JD and get tracksuit or trainers as that's what they always want.

Things like games consoles I just say you need to save money up from anything you get birthdays or Xmas.

There is the quid Co link, but that's how I pay for Xmas. Hope it helps xx

app.quidco.com/raf/1qnW

Talk to him about costs OP rent/mortgage, utilities, clothes etc and cost of food. How is he with maths? Maybe sit down with him and write a budget, not to make him stressed, just so that he can begin to understand.

We probably will have to spend less this year. I only buy for DH and our 2 DDs. DH buys for his family.

As a couple of others have said, £600 is crazy. I'm on a good salary and yet £600 is more than we are spending on the entire family. We look at ~£200 for presents. I'm "lucky" though in that we don't have terrestial TV (so no adverts) and we don't have social media (so not pressures). Also we have made it clear to the kids that Santa has a limited budget and that has to go to everyone in the world.

If your child (I dont understand all the DS stuff), wants something enough, then they should ask for cash for their birthday and and Christmas and trade in the old consoles and games they have. They will appreciate the cost of things more that way. One of our children wanted an iphone. We said santa doesn't give those, so they saved up for a couple of years, doing odd jobs and asking for just cash from relatives and eventually got it with a trade in for their old phone. They appreciated that phone more as a consequence and have realised that it wasn't worth all the waiting and they should have got a cheap android.

Finally, I'd love the latest console myself, but its not happening. They are too expensive for the "best one" and tbh, the differences in games vs the more recent consoles is not that noticeable. You need a big 4k TV and fast internet to be able to make the most of them. Maybe try CeX (2 year warranty vs 0 warranty on eBay), we're looking to trrade in old tech we have to put towards a new (for them) laptop for my eldest. We might have money, but I expect we're going to need it with the cost of living.

Thanks. He's got game consoles so it wasn't that. He's really into drawing but wants a computer animator so he came his drawings move!? He then asked for a second hand older one which was expensive too. I kind of liked that he was drawing and away from screens out he's drawn to this. I have no idea how he heard of it

Yes I have done that after the whole energy utility scare and we had a good conversation but the result of it was him feeling worried about his birthday and Christmas and getting his Christmas list in early. It's only September and he doesn't usually think about it until then. It was funny at one point as he said daddy's beer was an unnecessary expense. Has a point tbf

Keep an eye on eBay and Facebook Marketplace for the drawing/animation thing.

Thank you I shall have a look into it. Sounds interesting

Ahh... my youngest is into drawing and we were looking at a drawing tablet (plugs into a PC) for them for christmas. I saw one in CeX for not a bad price.

As for what your son wants, I'm pretty sure that there are programs out there that don't cost £600 (is that from Adobe?). If you want I can take a look as I used to be a computer programmer. It depends what he wants to do, however the cheapest route would be learning python (which is free) and when he gets good at that (which would take a long time, but there are plenty of free courses out there for python) he can animate things himself. I used to do that when I was younger with the ZX81. If he does want to animate things he draws though and not program, then I'm pretty sure that "something" will do that a lot cheaper. The problem with things like Adobe Photoshop and Dreamweaver etc is that they cost a small fortune and you use only a tiny amount of the functionality.

As a quick example, here are some free animation packages he could use today that would show him if he actually likes it for starters and what he actually needs: www.oberlo.co.uk/blog/free-animation-software

I have quite a few nieces and nephews and we buy for them every year. This year I am not buying for them but instead will make a little treat bag up of chocolates etc. I already have some Christmas chocolate moulds that DS (3) can melt down with me and pop into the moulds so we can make them together.

I think all my siblings are also doing the same and not buying for the little ones this year. It adds an extra £150-£200 to everyone's budget and kids get so much anyway!

Thanks for the computer animation ideas. That's great news because I don't know about this sort of thing and that could satisfy him just as much. Really pleased I posted now 😊

And another quick look would suggest that of those free ones, the ones to consider are :

Blender - This will do more than he will want out of a package for months. It will also integrate with Python
Open Toonz (its customized by Studio Ghibli)
Pencil 2D Animation (simple way of animating drawings)
Synfig Studio - for when and if he outrows the others.

I'd advise Blender to start. It might not look as amazing as a £600 piece of software, but it will be able to do most of the same things. Grease Pencil will allow him to work on 2D creations within it.

No problem. I need to get on with work now, so PM me if you want to know more or have any other questions. I am not an animator and never have been. I was a computer programmer and I'm now still in IT but the management side, so I still know a few things, but someone on here might be an expert which I never was in this field.

It’s difficult when younger we’ve always done the Santa buys a few gifts - usually the stocking gifts chocolate/bubbles etc

The main gift may be a bike or games console expensive trainers but wouldn’t necessarily be given at Christmas could be during the year when it has been saved up for & it’s from us.

They 19 & 13 now and have seen all the Instagram/snap chat piles of presents others may have but they understand that we don’t do that - first it’s about what they need and what we can afford. It’s not affected them and they’ve never felt jealous or disappointed.

His daddy’s beer is was an unnecessary expense sounds like he’s going to be good at budgeting 👍

Could you explain that everything needs reducing, including dad’s beer and Christmas costs for presents (and birthdays too) get DH onboard too. And reassure him that if you spend less you will still afford the rent/mortgage and food.

Expectations, expectations, expectations. £600 for a Christmas present for a 10 yr old is obscene and I would take this opportunity to let him no that he will have to save up for the item. Which means that he will have to pool his Christmas and birthday money from everyone.

DD 15 is getting 50 euros from me for Christmas. I pay her telephone subscription, pocket money and clothing allowance. DD has finally broken her 30 minute shower habit because I threatened her that she would be paying for them.

Couple of practical tips OP
Facebook/free cycle often have really cheap kids stuff
If you have stuff to sell, vinted is excellent as the seller has no outlay not even for postage. Ypu can either withdraw the money you make or you can use your vinted balance to buy things, which makes it feel free. I've bought a couple of gifts on there and there are books/toys all sorts of things other than clothes

I get great family board games, fun game play, Christmas they get bits and bobs and in fact this year we are leaving the "wow" present to grandma because she has more disposable than us and she can take the credit.

We have created our own family "magic" over the years, we bake specific things on Christmas Eve, watch Christmas movies the week leading up and beyond. Play a new board game, get "fun" crackers. Let them eat as much chocolate as they want for a few days.

As for the stuff they open, it's books, board games, rubiks cubes, new football, light sabers, nothing huge huge but things to open.

Are they "disappointed"? Who knows, they know, being spoken to throughout the year that they want for nothing.

Everything they love now is online and they have enough of that nonsense to last a lifetime.

Basically what I am trying to say, is if you can, you give your kids time and fun, where the material presents are a sideshow.

I have already told our DS (nearly 9) that we are having a smaller birthday and Christmas this year. He knows about the price of food and energy bills going up and that we all need to be careful.

My son is very careful with his money so I suggested he could pick a present (e.g. a computer game) then I will give him money for his bank account. He can then spend the money on things he wants throughout the year. He has an October birthday, so this helps spread out his presents too.

We earn well as a household and he will likely get £50 game, £50 bank account and a couple of books, selection box. There is no way I'd be budgeting £600 or even close to that for Christmas. I'm sure that will be the same for most families this year, so you can talk to your son about that.