Help me work out where I can save please.

[jessicawessica]

I seem to have absolutely no money left at the end of the month and can't see where I am going wrong and how to save something just for an emergency.
My income is £1,765.00 pm.
Outgoings are;
Rent £400
Gas & electric £162
TV, phone and broadband £72
Car finance £75
Mobile £15
Various Insurance £15
Car Ins £23
Petrol £70
Food/ cleaning etc £650
I should have about £300 left over every month, but I never seem to have this.
What am I doing wrong and what should I be doing?

No one will unwillingly starve themselves.

Cook one meal a night, and if they don't like it tough. They can make themselves a sandwich.

Glad you got the TV and broadband sorted.

How old are your DC?

I meant to say no one would starve themselves. Don't know why I used unwillingly. Not sure that makes sense lol

They are 11, 12 and 17. None of them have allergies or are vegan, etc, so no special dietary requirements.
They have in the past been told by me to write a list each of which foods they like. Trouble is it's never the same food!
And even if they did refuse to eat the meal, they wouldn't make themselves a sandwich because they don't like them either

I have all my bills come out on pay day so I know what’s left is for spending and this means that I always have money left.

Before I started doing this I’d be short at the end of the month as I’d forget about certain bills coming out and think I’d have more money than I did...

I also agree with other posters about the cost of meals and cleaning stuff. I’m sure you don’t need to but cleaning stuff each month - loo rolls and kitchen rolls, but everything else should last longer I’m sure.

Ah, just rad they’re fussy depending on their moods - crikey! As a kid I was told that’s your dinner, you eat it or you don’t and there’s nothing else. My son is four and every meal team he says it’s yucky, he wants to eat in the living room, he doesn’t like the smell - these are meals he has regularly and I know he likes, which pisses me off with his dramatics every day. So I tell him to either sit at the table and try the food or sit on the step as he isn’t watching TV whilst we have dinner. I remind him there isn’t anything else and will count to four for him to make a decision. It’s not for everyone, but works for us and he has yet to choose the step! As soon as he tries it he says yum and gives me the thumbs up.

Sorry for typos, it is predictive text and I really should proof read before posting!

Wish mine were still toddlers. Think it's easier to mould their eating habits before trouble arrives and you're stuck with fussy tweens and teens.

They've even got expensive taste in fruit! It's all berries and papaya and watermelon. Offer them apples, oranges or bananas and it's no.

@jessicawessica irrespective of the habits I’m trying to form now, I now it could all change! 😱

Know*

Interesting to read as I'm in a similar position at the moment, good wage but nothing really left at the end of the month to show for it. I've combed through my bank account, cancelling any unnecessary subscriptions and looking for better deals. That has made some decent savings which over the months and years will really add up. It's quite empowering to take control of your finances, and makes you realise how many companies out there are making money through lazy People like me who subscribe to things then forget, or don't bother to look for cheaper quotes at the end of terms. I've realised that over a lifetime, if I keep an eye on the small numbers I could save thousands.

Another thing I've started doing is, when I buy something, think to myself could I get this same thing somewhere elsewhere for cheaper, (without masses of extra travel or delay). If you could get it even 5% cheaper elsewhere, it's worth doing - remembering that even the best savings account pay much less interest than this, applying this approach to spending over time will leave more in your account.

Another thing I've found really useful is opening a new bank account for spending money. Mine is with Starling, it's an app based bank so no branches etc. The app instantly pings on your phone whenever you spend on the card, you get a daily round up of your spend, it breaks it down into categories and you can see how much you're spending not only in each shop but also each category (leisure, transport etc). It's really focussed my mind on my spending and took literally a couple of minutes to set up. Worth having a think about (I don't work for them btw - I believe there are other banks such as Monzo that offers similar service, and some budgeting apps such as YNAB which are also very good).

But your kids don't pay for the food, you do. Stop being so soft OP! Cook one meal and they can eat it or not eat it, up to them. You have done your part by providing a meal, up to them whether they go hungry or not. I can understand working around a few strong dislikes (I don't like cheese so work around that with family meals as everyone else loves it) but cooking 3 different meals every night is madness.

And as for the expensive fruit etc you just tell them you can't afford it. "Sorry kids no papaya this week, there are apples and bananas in the fruit bowl, like it or lump it".

You are not in a financial position to pander to them like this so just stop.

You need to explain finances to your kids.Next time any if them want new clothes tell them you can't afford it unless the food bill goes down.
Don't pander to them with the fruit,strawberry's in summer when they're cheaper but nothing else.
You don't mention council tax,water or kids phones so that may account for some of your £300.
Buy basic food in,get your kids cooking and washing up themselves,you will only cook if they agree to one meal.That will free you up do do nice food for yourself.

I was cooking 2 meals until recently - not as extreme as the OP, but was still driving me nuts. It was veggie meal (me) and meat meal (DH and the dc). The dc in particular refused to entertain the idea of a near-free meal. Often if out the time/effort/money into the meat meal, and the veggie meal would be a poor afterthought.

After me conpletely losing the plot one day after starting a small accidental fire with lamb chops, I refused to cook so much meat, particularly anything that needs grilling! It didn’t actually take long for the fussiest water (DD,7) to to realise that mild veg chilli, very curry, omelettes and garlic bread, macaroni cheese, veggie “meatballs”,ham-less pizza, cashew stir fry, buttery, cheesy, beany jacket spuds are that bad., she still has moments of not eating though, where she is free to make her own food, but not sugary cereal. She usually has toast.

I think your problem is you haven't put any money in your budget for any clothing or non-essential items. Do you give your teenagers pocket money or do they have jobs? Are they having money for activities after school or with their friends?

I would recommend a few weeks whereby you write down all your expenditure. The problem most people have with 'budgets' is that their budget is not realistic to start with.

Your starting point has to be to find out where that £300 goes then you can properly look at where you can cut costs.

It is important that teenagers learn budgeting themselves so give them a choice - they can only get new trainers if they eat more basic foodstuffs as there isn't the money for both.

The food situation is ridiculous, stop pandering to them. Meal plan and either they eat it or they don't, if they're hungry they'll eat. I would also get them involved in cooking and shopping for food.

Your gas and electric is really high, I pay £54 a month for both, do you take regular meter readings?

Stop being so soft with your kids, it’s madness to cook three different meals every night. And just don’t pander to them with berries and melon. If they will only eat a sandwich on the night they don’t get their ‘choice’ of menu, then let them, they won’t starve. And ‘posh’ fruit can be a once a week treat.
My DS would love berries every day instead of a banana or orange, I could probably afford to buy them but I am not prepared to indulge him.

I didn't do my usual big food shop last week. The DCs have spent all week moaning that they are "starving because there is nothing to eat". What they actually mean is there is food in the fridge and freezer, but it has to be cooked.
The berries have gone out the window, the spag bol is meatless and the stuffed crust pizzas have been swapped for bog standard home made cheese and tomato.
They don't get pocket money because all my money goes on food!
DS1 actually ordered a kebab to be delivered to him the other day. It arrived and it was £9.00!!!! I made him pay for it with him bleating "It's only £9.00".
They have no bloody idea.
Cannot wait for them to move into their own flats and suddenly realise "Shit, that's expensive".

Not sure how to take meter readings accurately. Am pretty sure my NDN is plugged into mine.

Well done in making him pay for it with his money. You are right he would not be saying its only £9 if he was paying all the bills. £9 is more than I earn an hour.

My kids are ungrateful too, tell me I am poor etc when they ask for a food item in a cafe that costs about £8 and I refuse to buy it. (I am upfront and say how much I can spend and often will just have a coffee so they can eat at the cafe when we go for a treat). But they then tell me to get more money then, earn more money then. Which I think is totally rude and out of order and try and get them to see that for us that is a lot if money. Explaining this so you know you are not alone. My dc are 11. It seems they cant get their heads round the fact that Sophie or George or whoever has this and that and so why cant they and i am a crap mum. (Really annoys me as I do my best and go without so they can have things).

If you think your neighbour is plugged into your meter can you get someone in to investigate?

I had this in my old apartment. Not the neighbour but we found out the reason my electric was so high was that I was paying for the outside light. Which was always on. Ffs.

So get it checked. And if it is the case get it sorted.

As others have mentioned, there are some items missing from your budget, such as Council Tax. Also don't forget the non-monthly and variable expenses:

• car maintenance (service, MOT)
• birthdays
• holidays
• Christmas
• haircuts
• clothing
• school trips
• books/cinema/days out with the kids/games

All this adds up, but is less easy to spot because it isn't on direct debit every month. This tends to be where budgets get undermined - when you're constantly being hit with even small amounts you haven't budgeted for, and then the fixed amounts are still coming out every month and so there's no surplus for surprise items.

I do think you need to straight up tell the kids you cannot afford to cook so many meals for them - they're all old enough to understand that. And maybe make the budget a family thing - you'll be doing them a massive favour by helping them to understand household finances at a young age.

Do you know where your meters are? If so, turn off and unplug absolutely everything and see if the meter is still moving.
Your energy supplier should show how to read the meter on their website