50:50 bills or salary dependent?

[NannyPlumBum]

I'm sure this has been asked before so please forgive me.
OH and I want to buy a car. I have 2 dc and he has 2 dc. He earns over twice what I do. He wants to buy the car, with me paying him back 50% over time, as well as half the insurance and half the tax yearly.
For some reason this doesn't sit well with me. I pay my own way in every other respect, as does he (we are in the process of moving in together, so another reason I want advice on this topic). We agree that should anything happen with our relationship he would buy me out and the car would be mine.
When I inclined that perhaps bills etc should be based on affordability and we should contribute according to what we earn, he didn't like it.
Just wondering what the norm is? Thanks

*fair....

Honestly if it's a rare use/weekend vehicle, I'd be hiring regularly not buying

We earn the same each month +- £500 due to overtime or not so not necessarily in the same boat. We have 2 you children and live together in my house. We have a joint account for bills and mortgage and put the same in each month. Food, kids clothes outings, household stuff goes on my credit card and we clear that every month 50/50. As for the rest that's our money. We have separate savings, a car each that we deal with ourselves. Personally I'm not sure I'd want both salaries going into one joint account and that has nothing to do with not being committed.

All of our money goes into the same pot. All bills and cars are paid for out of that and I take a set amount out each month for savings which DP is happy for me to do else he would spend it all.

I would be hesitant to split everything equally with him as his outgoings are far more than mine, yet he earns more than me so I feel like it evens itself out.

What's mine is his and what's his is mine and all that. It's works for us.

For me it depends on the relationship and the implied commitment. You are living together as a family, a blended family perhaps, but a family nonetheless. In my view that makes you a fully committed couple. The fair arrangement in that situation is that you each have equal say on financial decisions and equal personal disposable income. There are 2 or 3 different ways you can achieve the latter but the end result should be equality.

I wouldn't buy a third car for two households, that seems excessive.

To the more general question, I have always thought proportionate for joint costs, so there is an equal amount left over if it is a committed relationship. You can have a joint account for joint costs and your own for what remains 'yours'.

If you are doing holiday and after school childcare, you are saving him money. He should get a childminder if he is not prepared to pay for what you need to do this.

I presume he will also be doing the same amount of childcare over the holidays (and taking the subsequent career/salary hit?) Or will he be paying you for the childcare you're providing for his 2 children over the holidays?

As said before, it depends on how you both feel the relationship will progress. If there's a chance it won't stand the course of time maybe a 50% split. However, if you believe you're going to be together for the foreseeable future, would buy a house together etc, then it's much easier everything going into the pot. It can be swings and roundabouts - I had more more to put into our first property, but DH has always earnt a lot more than me.

Sell one of the existing cars to fund the purchase of the new one. Otherwise you will have 3 cars to tax and insure, and one will not be used.

We pay the same into the joint account, we earn about the same. His money can go up and down (self employed), so depending on who's "flush" - that person might pay for a meal, things for the house, treat the kids. As it works out, he usually buys stuff for DIY in the house and I splurge on the kids.

Why do you need 3 cars?