I don't know how we're going to cope financially

[TeapotsInJune]

Does anyone else get this mad sense of panic just build up and overwhelm them completely? In utterly dire financial mess at the moment and trying to sell the house but no one wants it.

The ridiculous thing is, on paper, we both are well-paid!

Cricket it is really hard to give advice without the facts! A thought though....
As you don't want to live ling term in your parents house, sell it now. Use the money to pay off the debts that are stupidly high apr, get yourselves sorted re cars and rent somewhere for 6 months using a little of the capital. Then make the decision to either do up and make a better sale price on the other house or sell it at a reduced price. Once you've got clear, then you can buy a new place as you will have what's left of the capital, no mortgage on the old place and the aforementioned 2 good salaries!

Cricket???? Damn autocorrect! Crikey!

Moneysavingexpert. Go to debt free wannabe forum.
Keep a spending diary and do a statement of affairs so others on that forum can have a look through it for you.

You have a guaranteed income coming in each month, from both of you, so I think you can get through this. From experience, it's much more hellraising when one of you is self-employed or unemployed. You also have your parents property, and no doubt some equity in the mortgaged property.

Please don't panic, you are honestly not in dire straits.

Can you use a baby sitter, for part of the week, instead of nursery? This is usually cheaper.

Is there anything you can do to your mortgaged property at weekends, just to make it look a bit loved, with minimal expenditure. Perhaps weed the garden? Clear out any junk?

In the past we have had to borrow from my parents. It sucks, being a grown up, and not able to stand up on own two feet, and having to swallow pride. Can you borrow from DH's parents? It's better than payday loans.

It might sound ridiculous, but what can you sell on ebay for some quick cash?

Can you do private tuition in evenings?

Check out the credit crunch forum on mumsnet, I prefer it to moneysavingexpert. It has some great advice for cutting spending, to the bare minimum.

I worked as an estate agent for five years, but made redundant three years ago, and since worked in a different field.

If it's in an okay location, and not overpriced, it should sell. It might take a year though. I agree on changing agents, you need to have someone you like dealing with.

I agree, it's better to sell cheap, than accumulate high APR debt. Personally I'd try to sell privately, rather than via a company.

I do think you need to make every effort to visit property at weekends, and try and make it smart from the outside at least, if at all possible? Would you be able to do it up, a bit, for Spring 2013. Can you afford to hang on to it till then?

Thank you :) Asset rich and cash poor is about right, really.

I honestly can't fave moneysavingexpert (wimp!) but thanks. Have reduced the price on our house and someone is viewing on friday - please keep everything crossed :)

Whoever said price as a doo-er upper was spot on Teapots.

I think we have very similar situations, although im not actually asset rich as my flat is in negative equity and no one wants it.

Hi there

As this one isn't really an AIBU, we've moved it to Credit Crunch

Best of luck to the OP.

Dear TeapotsInJune

To be honest, there has been a slight drip feed of information from you , so the advice provided so far may be slightly askew. Firstly, I'm taking it you have a house on which you have a mortgage but are presently living in your parents house which is the house you want to sell but because of its present condition has not had any/many viewings ? How long has it been on the market and does the asking price reflect what that type of property is being sold at ? As you yourself say it could do with a bit of work on it so has it been impossible to find time to do this ? Do the photos the estate agent has taken show it in its best light? Have you looked at the council tax position on both properties ? Are the building and contents insurers ( if different ) on both properties aware that one is not occupied all the time, because cover could be restricted if left unoccupied for a period of 30 days. Two cars have been written off - can your DH's parents help with any finance for a second hand car ? How may children do you have and could any nursery fees be renegotiated ? You're a teacher, what does your DH do ? Painful though it will seem, it does seem a case of you and your DH sitting down and going through EVERYTHING to see if you have everything you need but not what you might have doubled up on or nolonger need. Can you live on the food you have in your cupboards for a time without doing a shop ?

I agree with the back to basics, pull it all apart and work out where your cash goes. The small amounts will make a difference.

I got out if a mess many years ago by cutting all spending out for about six months then curbing spending after that. I was single and could live off about ten pounds a month after the fixed costs. Its not nice but it ment i could keep my house and cleared thousands in debt.

It changed my view on debt at a young age.

Good luck

Spending diaries are really useful. I always write down what I've spent in a little book. ( dh laughs at me) but it keeps me in check. I stop and think oh no I have been to tesco 3 times this week so then I use what I've got already.
Can you do child care vouchers through work that saved us a lot of money.
Also try to save a contingency fund as it means you don't default to credit cards all the time.
If you have credit cards switch the balances to 0% where possible. Store them in ice in freezer it makes you then have to think before you buy.

I'm exactly the same - and I feel that I should know better than to get in this mess. It's doing my head in, I'm really down about it. I keep redoing the budget but just can't make things balance.