You know you're truly skint when...

[ratflavouredjelly]

I've decided to humour myself and start this thread laughs hysterically. Anyone care to join me with their stories. Maybe we can out skint each other...

So, you know you're truly skint when:
Shopping in charity shops are no longer ironic.
The middle of the month arrives and you panic about feeding the family.
You can not afford the petrol to work.
You're growing your own veg but cannot stretch to compost to enrich the soil.
DS and DD's shoes are too tight (something you never thought you would allow to happen)
Your bra is too tight, buying a new one is out of the question, so you just 'get used' to the pain.
Yadda harumph harumph

This thread is very, very sad. I thought we were poor-ish but we have about £400 disposable income a month and savings so I see we're not. Off to check out the I have x thread and food bank donation points.

Just to say though, I have very, very limited sympathy for people like the poster somewhere near the beginning who drive their car without insurance, tax or MOT. Not only could you kill someone with your dangerous car, you could also hit another person who is struggling to feed their family and tip them over the edge into not being able to afford that food, or get to work.

Xenia, earning much more than your husband is the cause of your indebtedness. Advising other women to strive to earn top salaries in professional careers is all very well but only if they are lucky enough to either earn the same as/less than their husband when he decides/she decides to split. As a lawyer solicitor who has stated that her divorce was 10 years in the making, it might have been better to have found ways to protect your property. I would have thought you would have been better placed to find some legal loophole to have protected your wealth.

If you are £1m in debt, it might be better to toodle off and do some work? since your in the enviable position of having such well remunerated career.

Xenia- the key to this thread is, 'there but for the grace of God go I'. There isn't one characteristic that typifies women on hard times, it can happen to literally anyone. Shit happens and it's naive to think you can prevent it by a bit of forward planning. My sister is educated and capable but had a minor brain haemorrhage that left her unable to work more than a few hours a week without feeling exhausted but she's not officially disabled 'enough' to get benefits. She's flipping skint and we all bail her out which she finds humiliating to boot. I don't know if you've noticed, but because the biggest economies in the world actively encouraged bankers to gamble on thin air instead of focusing on bloody building and making stuff, we're totally screwed. Our Jan trying extra hard at biology o'level in 1977 probably wouldn't have had much effect..

There's a bloody big difference between 'My bra has a hole in it but I donlt really give a shite, and anyway I could buy another one if I wanted to..' and 'My bar is in tatters and I can't get another one so I'll have to wear this one with the underwire that's snapped in the middle and is ripping my breast to shreds'.

Some people might be better off sitting on their island watching the stars if they REALLY don't get the difference between 'not materialistic' and 'fucked beyond belief'.

Have a . They're FREE.

I know I'm truly skint when I own 1 pair of jeans and 1 pair of shoes (that are ripped and holey), when my sister doesn't 'get' why I can't just buy some new clothes, when I only eat at work (work in restaurant where we can have free food on our break), not being able to afford food for me, not putting the heating on, not replacing lightbulbs.........I could go own. I am poor, I have a p/t job on NMW. I also have a masters degree, but my ex left when dd was 4 months old and I had a choice of putting a roof over our heads or become homeless by trying to pay uni fees for my next course. The only job I could get was the one I have got. There are no prospects for me in that job but can't get into any higher paid jobs as I have little support/childcare and ex has very little contact (his own choosing) with dd. I am still trying to find better paid work but I am thankful for what I have. As a side not I have a black and pink (harness/bits on wheels) mamu stroller in good condition if anybody wants it! it was cheap to start with and dd doesnt use it anymore. I'm in S Yorks.

Oh and I only have 1 bra....and its in tatters!

And as for women getting low paid jobs instead of investing in a high paid career: Xenia haven't any of the books you have read told you that some people are just not capable of being high fliers with a long list of academic and professional qualifications. They may not be capable for a variety of reasons - we don't all have the same opportunities in life. Read a few more books, Honey.

Xenia - I would be interested in those on the thread in difficulties if there were things they wished they had done differently eg worked hard for A levels, been directed by parents or school to become actuaries or surgeons rather than other jobs and how you might try to ensure your daughters are never in the position you are in?

Xenia, that's a good question. I have always had a bohemian bent and almost deliberately married a poor guy because at that point in my life rich = awful.
However we studied and trained and worked hard and both went on to earn well.

We built ourselves a lovely home (not flash but lovely, eco sort of thing) and we bought properties for each of the children we hoped to have.

Fast-track 10 yrs and we are now living apart, the extra properties long sold and both managing but just.

Part of this/most of this is my fault, I had such a hang up about money being bad that I gave a lot away/frittered it.

So I do think that money management and expectation can be taught from a young age, and I do hope to instill in my children thirst for education, adventure and enough self worth to aim high.

I'm not sure that I would be directing either of them to become surgeons but I do want them to feel confident about their ability to do well and stay well.

This is such a sad thread. Thank goodness for people who are offering things for free and helping eachother. :( I was in tears about it but too scared to post 2 days ago!

I was very poor in the near past, just 18 months ago, I was living in a flat ( in a nasty area where people banged on my door asking to buy drugs and there was fights outside every few days), no phone line or internet or tv, barely enough for bills and food. It was embarrassing and frightening, I used to stay awake at night worrying. I couldnt even afford a bed while I was there and slept on the floor.

I'm comfortable now, things changed quickly for me, but I'm not well off, my rent is too high for me and I struggle to find it some months, I often have next to nothing in the bank but i'm still a LOT better off than I was before.

The person who said about internet being a luxury.... NO, not only looking for jobs, homework for children/social needs.... It's important because of the support. I would have loved the support from other people 18 months ago when I needed it but had no connection. I was too embarrassed to tell friends and family about my situation. So think about how heart breaking it is to read some of these posts and then think of the people who CAN'T post.

As for the person who said you should make sure your children have degrees. I'm 24 and all of my friends have qualifications/degrees in something, and none of them work in what they trained for. They work at tesco, at lidl, anywhere they could get a job... dont think when you do your shopping the person operating the till doesnt have a degree, often they do! These are examples of stable jobs that my friends are now too scared to leave.

As for people who say that you shouldnt have a child unless you can afford one. Plain and simple... EVERYBODY has the right to have a child if they want to. There is no measure of income to say "oh no you earn to little you shouldnt have one" its about the care parents give with what they have. Children dont care about what their parents earn.

The bit that upset me most about this thread is the people who are in full time employment working so many hours and still cant make ends meet. It's just not fair.

Also, I bought DP new undies, they didn't fit, couldn't find receipt so they are mine now! Lol comfy!

Dear ratflavouredjelly, thank u for starting this conversation. Love u all lovely ladies. Keep strong and sane.

MissPricklepants What size are you? Shoe? Bra? Clothes? Wondering if I can help out at all?

Missprickle I have PM'ed you.

Can I just add, that having never experienced the levels of hardship on this thread. It is common to struggle finaicially despite or even because of one's medical education

Hi, just found a pair of black size 16 jeans, excellent condition - just PM me if you want them.

Also some gorgeous bright-coloured long sleeve vests age 2-3.

I have 2 bras from sainsburys, size 40D, bought wrong size and they are just sitting in my drawer.
I'd love to send them to someone who would truly need them? One is white, one is aqua green x

MissPrickle, can you tell us your sizes for shoes, bras, jeans?

Has anyone sent this thread to no.10 or wherever you send them? I will if noone else has...also worth sending to a few newspapers IMO if nobody would mind so they could write a feature on poverty in Cameron's Britain?

I'd just like to add something to this; kind of to show its not just mothers & people with families that are suffering. My friend is in the year above me at Uni, so has just finished & was asking me about work, as i have been working. I suggested she start something like bridal dresses/alterations as sewing is her strong point. She said she hasn't even got enough money to feed herself never mind start up a business. I felt awful, and have done everything i can to help.

& those on about bra's, i have close to a thousand (not joking) 34c Bra's that dont fit me. If anyone is that size, i will send you some.

anyone who cant afford nappies

i have a few (about 8 i think, maybe 10?) very very very well used cloth (fleece) nappies, (size 2 so fit 9kg - 16kg / potty training) I will find some larger wraps. (cloth nappies only come in 2 sizes, these are not "disposable size 2")

they are easy to wash and dry over night on an airer

the are lollipop nappies and made of fleece so you dont need to buy liners either (as poo rolls off fleece)

They really are well used, but will be better than pants for a child not ready to potty train

PM me if you want them and i will willingly post them to you

To ask what people would have done differently when younger... Well, if your parents had no money- mine worked all ours for themselves, never took benefit and left school at 14 for factory jobs. We did not have the money to pay for college, UNi etc, I was expected to leave school and earn. Lots of people like that. UNi was for rich people. There was no Internet then to get info the best you had was a careers advisor who gave options of nurse or secretary. I can't have been that unusual a 16 year old to believe my parents, or go against them. I was told at School there was no point me doing physics as it would stop a boy doing it due to places and it would be wasted no me as I would just get married and have kids. Your home circumstances mean some have a steeper learning curve than others mile in their shoes etc

to make vege soup tasty

Once you have fried the onions/leeks etc and before you add the stock, tip in a tin of tom puree (about 20p) and worcester if you have it, turn up the heat and stir. The puree will darken after a few mins. It really does add flavour.

Only works if it is a tomatoey [new word] soup obv.

I have four 38dd bras that have never been worn.
PM me.
And as I said up there ^ somewhere, size six (adult) hiking boots, unworn.