You know you're truly skint when...

[ratflavouredjelly]

I've decided to humour myself and start this thread laughs hysterically. Anyone care to join me with their stories. Maybe we can out skint each other...

So, you know you're truly skint when:
Shopping in charity shops are no longer ironic.
The middle of the month arrives and you panic about feeding the family.
You can not afford the petrol to work.
You're growing your own veg but cannot stretch to compost to enrich the soil.
DS and DD's shoes are too tight (something you never thought you would allow to happen)
Your bra is too tight, buying a new one is out of the question, so you just 'get used' to the pain.
Yadda harumph harumph

Surely this thread just illustrates the need for better family planning. If you know you can't afford to have children, wait until you can or don't do it.

smurf that's hardly helpful is it - I could afford to have my DS1 when I fell for him, we were stable, both working 18 months later XH & I split up. by then I could hardly send him back - however if it wasn't for my families generosity we wouldn't have survived that spell in changes of fortune that's for sure.

Smurf, What an incredibly ignorant attitude. What do you know about Greece? They are giving up their children and many people are committing suicide. Do you think that is a possible solution to the problems of poverty?

Smurfette - you know nothing of people's situations. God forbid you ever find yourself in the same position and are met with the same judgemental and smug attitudes. Eh?

Probably best for you to not post on a thread like this.

Smurf 9 years ago when we decided to have a child. We were a two income family earning 60k

Since then we have both lost our jobs and DPs eyesight has deteriorated much faster than we thought would happen. He is now officially blind and I am his carer. We never ever thought 9 years ago we would be where we are now.

Maybe with you fantastic insight you could have predicted these things for me oh silly me !

also, have 2 pairs of 11g clarkes boys shoes if any good to anyone?

Actually I've lived in third world countries and seen people who are desperately poor, they are phenomenally resourceful.

I'm not "downgrading" these people and while their efforts are admirable many should have thought things through more carefully before they had children. For those who've subsequently fallen on hard times it is extremely unfortunate. People often seem to rush headlong into parenthood without thinking you're signing up to vast expense for at least the next 22 years!

I'm practical and realistic.

so smurfette if you and your other half happened to lose your jobs within a few weeks/months of each other, and couldn't find a new job, do you honestly think you would still be ok to live in 6 months time? With the cost of food/heating/housing these days?

thankfully I have never had to choose between me or my children eating dinner, but i will not degrade those who have and accuse them of 'rushing headlong into parenthood without thinking'

none of us are stupid, we know kids cost a lot of money, but most of these people had enough money, until bad luck hit them

Oh purleese stop with the condescending attitude smurf. 9 years ago at 31 I kew exactly how much time and money a child meant, as I am sure most people do.

Wow smurfette what a lot of empathy you have

A lot can happen in 22 years you know, a lot can happen in 22 days in fact.

Yes there are extremely poor people in the world. It doesn't mean that people who are struggling slightly less that them are not struggling. Your post wasn't really constructive was it?!

It was an alternative viewpoint.

I feel desperately sorry for people who can't put food on the table for their families. Circumstances can change but apart from a few exceptions there is always a way out of poverty.

Also FYI - I work in a very unstable sector and have been made redundant on three times, however I've always managed to find something else.

and if you hadn't managed to find something else? there is not always a way out of poverty, maybe there has been for you, but for some people who can't find a job what should they do?

Smurfette, in this current climate it really isn't that easy to find a way out of poverty. More families each day are being affected. The statistics back this up.

I really think that this thread is not the place to discuss this though.

This is a thread to offer support and share ideas.

Please allow people to do that.

Trying to make half a packet of baby wipes last till thursday. By making each one stretch as far as possible, but there is only so many times they fold!

The telly breaks and you tell the dc we will go for a month without it 'just for the challenge and an opportunity to do other things for a change!'

you have no internet connection....

wow took me 24 hours to read this thread.

Its a horrible situation to be in. My circumstances have changed dramatically in the last 2 and half years. When I had my first child we were both working and comfortable, not a lot left over but small mortgage and only one child, so didnt need a lot of money.
Over the years h and i got better jobs, better pay, better house and had 3 more children. We then broke up when i was 8 months pregnant with dc4. Yes she was unplanned but we could afford her and had room for her. H felt this was tying him down too much and no longer wanted to be married with children and wanted some freedom (midlife crisis of some kind i suspect), we split, he stopped paying.

I foolishly moved out of the marital home as my name wasnt on the mortgage (always seek legal advice before leaving the family home when divorcing/seperating), moved into rented accomdation. Had to give up working shift work within the NHS as salary was too high to receive significant help with childcare, and even if i could afford it, couldnt find childcare to cover unsociable shifts. now xh refused to do any childcare, would have visitation every other weekend but wouldnt look after them so i could work. I had crippling PND, but finally overcame that, now work full time and still in private rent and still responsible for 4 children aged 14 through to 2. receive very little from xh, but i regard myself as lucky as even though there literally is nothing left after rent, bills and small food shop paid, I still manage to hold our heads above water and we have a roof over our head thatalthough may not have the heating on 247 is at least dry and clean.

I can see how easy it would be if you had any amount of debt even small ones such a couple of hundred on a catalogue would tip a family over the edge in hard time.

Not everyone on benefits is a scrounger or sitting in luxury while 'tax payers' slave away. Not everyone rushes into having children, lot sof peope plan children and then life happens and your dealt a bad hand. Most people as demonstrated on this thread ar eincredibly resourceful and will pull through and do their very best by the children that they have.

Dear Smurfette
There are 21 years between DS1 and DS2. I call that fantastic family planning.

And at the time of DS2's arrival we were both in work, owned a house and couldn't see any financial problems ahead. And I was in my 40s. When exactly should we have had him?

And many of us on this thread do work. That's part of the problem.

smurf do you actually have children? because giving up a child simply because you cant afford to feed yourself properly is the most heartbreaking thing ive ever had to do... and i still hate myself about it to this very day.
everyone is trying their absolute hardest to provide, and often its the parents that suffer, not the children!

This thread made me cry when I read it this morning. I feel very lucky indeed. I don't think I have much to offer at the moment as I gave away most baby stuff but I have found the following if they would be of use to anyone.

3x drop cup maternity/nursing bras in size 36E from Mothercare. They are clean and in good condition although a little yellowed (not too much but they're white)

Also I have found a brand new river island jumper black and white stripes, size 12 with tags on it (Christmas present from inlaws which didn't fit and no reciept). Might make a good Christmas present to put aside for a teenage DD.

Please PM me if interested (I guess I can receive these? never used it before) or else email me on charityshopqueen @ gmail dot com. I am happy to post within the UK.

Anybody want some MotherEase cloth nappies? PM me.

Sgrim