You know you're truly skint when...

[ratflavouredjelly]

I've decided to humour myself and start this thread laughs hysterically. Anyone care to join me with their stories. Maybe we can out skint each other...

So, you know you're truly skint when:
Shopping in charity shops are no longer ironic.
The middle of the month arrives and you panic about feeding the family.
You can not afford the petrol to work.
You're growing your own veg but cannot stretch to compost to enrich the soil.
DS and DD's shoes are too tight (something you never thought you would allow to happen)
Your bra is too tight, buying a new one is out of the question, so you just 'get used' to the pain.
Yadda harumph harumph

a lot of this thread makes me thank god we're in a rented house, anything goes wrong and it's somebody else who has to fork out for it to be fixed, not us!

Mini I'm not not angry, IYSWIM - in fact more often than not I feel like I am full of rage and hurt because of the unfairness of some of it - not all because we are we where are because of some bad decisions as well as bad luck - but what can I do about it? I could be angry and quit in a rage filled moment, but then where would I be? Jobless.

There's not a lot that being angry can change for us unfortunately. In fact, I try very hard not to feel it, because it makes each day harder. It makes getting up twohours early so I can walk to work damn near impossible. All I can do, and DP, is get our heads down and work and hope that something will come up.

Oh dear, how very sad this thread is. But I suppose it puts things in perspective- I consider myself as pretty poor, but at least we can afford to eat (cooking everything from scratch-bloody exhausting! I so envy people who buy bags of salads in the winter-they can just pop'em open, as opposed to spending ages wrangling with root vegetables).

But...the cat. She's 15 now, there is no PDSA or RSPCA round here, and I know that the first proper illness she gets, that's going to be it. I'm going to have to ask the vet to put her down. Already, she's started reacting badly to the dried food I've been feeding her for years (diahorrea- all over the place), and I've had to start feeding her expensive tinned food- that's an extra £3 a week.

DW has been having a clear out so if anyone wants any size 14 clothes - some blouses and skirts let me know and I'll get them posted out. Or if you are near to Swindon area can deliver.

Also...when one of the Boden mummies at playgroup asks if the huge holes in your socks are a "fashion statement".

that sounds like such a bitchy thing to say stubborn did they mean to be so rude??

When you look round your living room and realise your tv, sideboard, tables and settee were all donated by family.

When you apply to charities for items because you have one very ill DC and then feel like a complete and utter fraud when you get that something because there are other people worse off than you.

Raiding the kids piggy banks to buy food. Lower than low.

Oh I've thought of another one... that happened to me on Saturday

When you get a card from someone and to your utter delight, you see the stamp hasn't been franked, so you can very carefully peel it off and use it to send a homemade card from your DC's to you DH's poorly Grandmother.

And then the realisation that if you hadn't got the free stamp you wouldn't have been able to send the card :(

stubborn - I am sorry about the cat. one of our chickens died a couple of days ago - I knew she was poorly but just had to watch her fade over a few days. in times gone by I'd have taken her to the vet and had her pts - cant do it now, that would have been £20. I live in terror of the dog or one of our mogs getting ill or having an accident. I feel your pain.

twllbach- I don't think she meant to be mean actually, she's generally a well- meaning soul, it was just a bit naive/ thoughtless. I replied "No, I'm just POOR!" and she went scarlet.

Boschy (and everyone else), I was in church this Sunday and they mentioned a hardship fund, the fund is funded through a percentage of the normal collection, so the talk wasn't an appeal for funding, but an appeal to recommend those in need. They had tried so hard to be discreet, they realised they only got people put forward to the fund committee from the vicar, the vast majority of the congregation didn't even know it exsisted.

The fund makes either full cash gifts, interest free loans, or just debt advice. There are only 3 people on the committee, decisions are kept within those 3 people and if they decide to make an award, the vicar is informed, but it's kept from general knowledge so there's minimum embarrassment.

If you are on the electoral roll of a CofE church, (or any other church, i would assume most have a similar arrangement) get in touch and ask, you can always get the information pretending you're asking for someone else.

oh and Boschy, I would tell the PIL, they might be 'you made your bed, you can lie in it' types, but at least they won't keep on at you to spend money, and they might surprise you.

boschy-it's funny isn't it, we often see people of our grandparents' generation, or people who live in other countries, as being callous about animals, especially when they reach the end of their lives -"oh, just knock 'em on the head"- but to an extent it's related to necessity isn't it?

We seem to be the only ones in our circle who are really recession hit. Others talk of money troubles as being about not going on holiday/going on a cheaper holiday or not getting improvements done to their home. We shelved all that over 2 years ago. I cant think of anything I can still cut out of our food/household budget. I dont talk about how hard up we are any more because they say 'oh us too' but havent a scooby what I am really on about.
Its a bit frivolous but my money issue this week is that we have our wedding anniversary coming up and we are talking about whether we can afford to celebrate - it arguing that we really must because we need somehow to keep our spirits up. Most of my clothes are consigned to scrapheap because they dont fit or are so old I really cant wear them any more. I try to keep our girl looking nice and my H looks ok as he still has a job but I look awful - its such a stupid thing but sometimes I am so ashamed of how I must appear to people and I notice how people treat me differently because I look such a mess. I cant believe that we are in this situation a few years ago I was a serious professional well-regarded in my field. Today I am applying for minimum wage evening work because we need some extra money somehow.

This thread is heartbreaking.

We're luckier than many in that we're both working and have both sets of parents nearby who are willing and able to help us out. It's still scary though that there just doesn't seem to be any end in sight. My job is fairly high risk - I escaped a substantial reduction in hours last year by the skin of my teeth, and if I got made redundant would be totally stuffed.

I'm still paying off debts from when credit was easy to come by and not something to worry about so much. I needed to change them to interest free deals at the beginning of the year but came up with nothing so am paying stupid amounts of interest and don't dare check my credit rating. I could ask my folks for help but they've bailed me out before when I've had crap luck with jobs or been studying and there's no way I'm going down that road again. If they offered it would be different but at the moment I'm lying through my teeth to them and DH about the situation.

We've promised DD that we'll decorate her room for her at some point this year. Have just got my wedding dress down from the loft to go on eBay as it's the only way we'll afford it and I can't let her down.

Still in the grand scheme of things we have it better than most, and some of my mess is of my own doing so can't really complain.

stubborn - I was ashamed I didnt have the guts, or the expertise, to wring her neck. but she was a big girl and I didnt think I could cope with having it go wrong and cause her (more) pain. she went in her sleep overnight thank god. obv you couldnt do it to a cat or a dog though.

dontmind - we are not churchgoers; we are also (wrongly) perceived to be affluent - that'll be the big house. any hardship fund would go to someone who is much much worse off than we are, but thank you for the thought.

MIL will prob ring me soon to ask what DH would like for his birthday, and are we planning a party (she's already said "oh you must have a party, your house is just made for it"). I am planning to tell her that we are on our uppers and that a party is not really on the cards. what the poor man actually needs is a holiday... this is ironic, because PIL are taking his sister and her 2 kids away for their 4th holiday in 5 years again this year. (whole other can of worms, the PIL relationship!)

What a humbling thread.

I am so lucky and would happily help anyone who needs it. It's just depressing that people have to choose who in the house eats properly.

If anyone needs girls baby clothes, especially tiny ones, please pm me.

You've just secretly posted your boyfriend's trainers on eBay...he won't notice, he's got about a bazillion pairs.

Do people believe that by some marvellous act of fate things will improve or if they just keep their heads down and keep working harder and longer hours things will improve?

When I say get angry, I mean that we do need to challenge this situation. Yes we have had 10 years of debt fuelled spending but real wages have stagnated for 30 years. Debt was the only way many people could keep up with rising living costs and create a half dignified existence.

We live in a rich country that has huge divisions, we need to challenge this.

Mini, I dont know. I dont really see what difference getting angry will make. HOW do we challenge the situation?? - and I totally agree with the economic points you make in your 2nd para.

We need to educate ourselves about the social conditions of our lives and understand the historical roots of this as well as our present predicament.

We need to be political, we need to stand together, form groups, join unions and work together with a clear vision on how to create a fair and just society, where workers get a fair share of the wealth they create.

Just trudging on thinking that by some miracle of fate things will change is foolish. Even if one person here lands on their feet tomorrow there will in time be another 20 to take their place.

Buying 30p cleansing wipes from wilkos and ripping them in half to make them last longer. Treating DD to a magazine only to take the £2.60 from her money jar later on. Spending hours online comparing the cost of groceries deciding who gets your money that fortnight, though last time I did, my Asda food shop was £23 cheaper than Sainsburys for the same items Not being able to make out the faces of people on the tv never mind read any writing for 7 years because I couldn't afford the opticians but then finally got glasses when my birthday money didn't have to be used for things for the house. Though actually the washing machine had packed in but I said stuff it enough was enough I couldn't see properly and got the machine on credit and got it paid off without any interest after selling dd's old clothes, toys and baby things declaring no more children for us. Christmas shopping at the pound shop. Leaving my coat on after taking dd to school to avoid putting the heating on until after school. Substituting breakfast and lunch with a cup of tea. Family days out are always to free places like the park or the beach and shopping trips have to avoid meal times. It's a relief when DD gets money for birthdays and christmas - no more worries about paying for school shoes, uniforms and clothes in general. One day things will be different...

Mini In some ways I do feel angry about it, but I am also a bit jaded. I have to say I expect nothing but contempt from a Tory government, I have always campaigned against Tories and will do so again up to the next election.

I feel most angry at the lack of empathy I have experienced, from family, friends. I told my mum I was really worried about money, she laughed. Actually laughed! That broke my heart and if I am honest, was the final nail in the coffin of our already floundering relationship.

My PIL just refused to hear it, they were constantly on at us to do nice things, cheer ourselves up. We would look them in the eye and say 'we can't afford to, we have no money' but they just didn't hear us.

Other friends have been supportive or not depending on their own relationship with money I guess. I have a friend who says 'talking about money is boring' - she isn't trying to be horrid, she's just stupid about money and can't accept it is all some people think about, because they have no choice.

Oh pew. at least my mum is always always supportive (she's poor, but supportive!).

At the moment, I feel pretty damn selfish about things - all I have the energy to do is try and work out how to get US out of this hole, and I am really struggling even with that.

Our finances have always been erratic, but I've always managed to pull something out the bag - this time round I dont think so.

I am looking for a part-time job (I'm freelance, cant take fulltime role without losing my freelance one - even assuming there would be a full time job!).

Am about to fill in the WTC forms, they seem to think we will get about £70 a week. In the past I would have been absolutely appalled that we would need to do that - or even be entitled to do so. Now I will take what I can get quite frankly.

I dont want our children to have to face these economic realities. I want them to have what our parents were able to give us (minus the private education, that was never a financial option for us) but the stability, and the fact that you could do nice things/have lunch out/buy something nice from time to time.
I accept I am probably being unrealistic, but we used to be the 'haves' and now we are pretty much the 'have nots' and it hurts.

Anyone see the report from the CUF on th BBC news today?

In some areas of the North west up to 64% of children and almost as many pensioners are living in poverty.

[anger]

I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW!

After six months I finally got a phone call. It's an evening job working in.a local acoustic music venue but hell, if I get it I can claim WRT properly and hopefully get my head above water.

!!!