Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Is this out of order, or just cheeky!

33 replies

DumpedByText · 18/09/2022 20:20

My friend had covid two weeks ago, then her husband tested positive last week. Their teenage son started feeling ill last weekend, went to school all last week coughing, full on cold, looked poorly but didn't test, I think because they had a special trip planned this weekend and didn't want to miss it. My DD is friends with him, and spends a lot of time with him. She tested positive yesterday and is really poorly, she's missed out on a party and another planned day out today. He's come back from the weekend and tested and of course is negative because it's been over a week! Obviously we have no proof it was him but it's odds on isn't it! Is this selfish or just accepted with Covid now, my DD so poorly and fed up 😕

OP posts:
RainStalksMyWashing · 18/09/2022 23:11

You're not allowed to call people who behave that way selfish anymore, even though lots would think it. Hope your DD feels better soon.

Hiheyho · 19/09/2022 10:11

Hope your daughter gets better soon. It’s not being selfish, as we have to live with it now

FayeGovan · 19/09/2022 10:13

Of course its selfish and your dd is ill because of it.

Iamnotthe1 · 19/09/2022 10:17

Of course it's selfish in the same way that anyone going into school or work whilst knowingly ill with any infectious disease is being selfish.

We're going to have to get used to more people being selfish under the narrative of "living with it".

Icequeen01 · 19/09/2022 10:25

It is selfish and I can't believe people who do this. Someone I work with was feeling poorly and had Covid symptoms. She knew I was visiting my elderly mother each day in hospital following major surgery and that the ward was full of elderly vulnerable people. She didn't test until 3 days later and of course she tested positive.

DysmalRadius · 19/09/2022 10:30

Whether he tested or not and whether it was covid or not, spending a lot of time in close proximity to someone who is visibly ill is not a great idea. Even if it was just a heavy cold, your daughter would probably have caught it so it's probably best to try and encourage her to use her own judgement rather than relying on other people to do the 'right thing'.

Lilacsunflowers · 19/09/2022 10:37

There are, unfortunately, lots of cold and covid viruses around and many people will knowingly or unknowingly become infected.

Are they all required to purchase covid tests? Or stay off work or school as a preventative measure?

Lilacsunflowers · 19/09/2022 10:40

Of course it's selfish in the same way that anyone going into school or work whilst knowingly ill with any infectious disease is being selfish.

Should all children and adults stay off school or work whenever they have a viral infection? That would be unaffordable and costly for everyone!

Iamnotthe1 · 19/09/2022 10:45

Lilacsunflowers · 19/09/2022 10:40

Of course it's selfish in the same way that anyone going into school or work whilst knowingly ill with any infectious disease is being selfish.

Should all children and adults stay off school or work whenever they have a viral infection? That would be unaffordable and costly for everyone!

I didn't give any opinion as to whether they should or shouldn't, just stated that they are being selfish. They are putting their own needs and wants over the needs and wants of others. That is, by sheer definition, selfish. I made no moralistic judgement of the act of being selfish.

carefullycourageous · 19/09/2022 10:48

RainStalksMyWashing · 18/09/2022 23:11

You're not allowed to call people who behave that way selfish anymore, even though lots would think it. Hope your DD feels better soon.

Exactly right, it definitely is selfish to pass no bugs.

carefullycourageous · 19/09/2022 10:49

*on, not no

ohfook · 19/09/2022 11:00

I think the culture of just powering on when you're unwell is so deeply engrained in British society that it's unlikely to change. To most people 'living with the virus' just means treating it the same way you'd treat a cold - this isn't helped by the policy of most workplaces (mine included) being that you go in if you're well enough to work, lack of sickness pay for many people and having to pay now for tests.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 19/09/2022 16:46

He had a minor cold that didn’t make any difference to his ability to be at school or go on a school trip. So school was exactly where he should be.

Its unfortunate if your dad felt so ill that she couldn’t go out, but if she’d been feeling ok, she could have gone out too. Better for one child to miss a party than another to miss school and an educational trip.

PortiaWithNoBreaks · 19/09/2022 18:02

I think it’s a difficult situation as we all live with it. I’ve just had Covid for the second time and I was really ill this time.

If there were no Covid tests I would have thought I had flu. I’d already infected my family by the time I tested positive. I caught it from someone at work.

I think there will be a lot of Covid going around but a lot of the time ppl won’t know it’s Covid. Even more so that tests are no longer free.

Vapeyvapevape · 19/09/2022 18:05

DysmalRadius · 19/09/2022 10:30

Whether he tested or not and whether it was covid or not, spending a lot of time in close proximity to someone who is visibly ill is not a great idea. Even if it was just a heavy cold, your daughter would probably have caught it so it's probably best to try and encourage her to use her own judgement rather than relying on other people to do the 'right thing'.

I agree

RainStalksMyWashing · 19/09/2022 22:10

If she'd chosen not to spend time with him, but shared a classroom with him, how does that help her? We do all need to protect ourselves from those who won't do the right thing (in many areas of life), but there's a general acceptance with other areas that it's not all meant to be up to the 'victim'. There are systems in place to help protect them.

ThaiDye · 20/09/2022 09:18

COVID is airborne. In schools, trying to give someone with symptoms 'a wide berth' is not going to make a difference, the virus will be floating around the classroom. At the very least, any child with symptoms in school should be wearing a mask, and as parents we should be pushing our schools for ventilation (open windows) and air filtration (purifiers). It's not a cold, it's not a flu, the evidence is clear that COVID is bad news for long term health. Avoid (re)infection at all costs!

Original poster
DumpedByText · 20/09/2022 22:16

She sits by him in class so couldnt avoid him. I'm positive now and feeling really unwell, my work don't allow you in if you're positive so I'm off work to, I have a very busy job that only I do so they will be stuck.

OP posts:
PhoneWaiting · 20/09/2022 22:20

I think anyone going out in public/to school/ to work with a bad cold/flue/chest infection is selfish. Agree with a PP that it’s a very British thing to keep going. Other countries expect you to stay home when ill. But then some people wouldn’t be paid here so work. Heck, even the NHS pre covid would expect an ill doctor or nurse to still go and work on the respiratory or elderly ward if they could stand and infect and possibly kill patients on the ward round.

EarringsandLipstick · 20/09/2022 22:26

I think anyone going out in public/to school/ to work with a bad cold/flue/chest infection is selfish.

Don't be silly.

For their own sake, if they are sick, they should stay at home & rest.

However, it is impractical if someone has a cold, but feels able to work or go to school, that they should stay at home. They should observe good hygiene practices but that's it.

Regarding Covid, I think you are being excessive OP. I followed the rules absolutely during the last two years. I now would be unlikely to test myself or DC for Covid unless it seemed very much not a standard viral illness or there was a particular reason. It is endemic now & we must adapt accordingly. It doesn't mean that if I was in direct contact with a vulnerable or elderly person that I wouldn't take care or avoid contact - I would, the same as I did pre-Covid.

RainStalksMyWashing · 20/09/2022 23:32

@EarringsandLipstick what does endemic mean to you?

EarringsandLipstick · 21/09/2022 06:51

RainStalksMyWashing · 20/09/2022 23:32

@EarringsandLipstick what does endemic mean to you?

This:

of a disease or condition) regularly found among particular people or in a certain area.

Hence my point.

Lilacsunflowers · 21/09/2022 08:15

Given that people are highly infectious and spread the virus for 2-3 days before testing positive (if they actually buy test and use them), we have to accept that the risk of getting infected is always present.

SpringRainbow · 21/09/2022 08:27

My kids school have stopped mentioning Covid on its own completely.

They expect all children in unless they have a temperature/ V&D/ cannot get out of bed.

If my kids felt well enough I would send them to school because that is what the school have made clear is their priority, attendance.

If they wanted me to still keep them home, I would.

Rightly or wrongly I know very few places that are keeping any form of Covid policies. I’m amazed some companies still are.

Twiglets1 · 21/09/2022 09:48

It is selfish but I’m well used to that sort of behaviour as I work part time in a school. Large numbers of parents send their children into school when they are coughing and sneezing, clearly very unwell and contagious. This has always been the case so it’s nothing new now Covid is in the mix.

Swipe left for the next trending thread