Unvaxxed due to needle phobia, now terrified after reading everything on here tonight

[Honeyhorse]

I posted a couple of days ago about my needle phobia.
I’ve not had any vaccines as yet. I’m having my first counselling session on Friday. But now I realise it’s too late, the new variant is extremely infectious and I’m going to get it. Even if I stay in the house as much as possible, my DP works in a secondary school so I’m in trouble.

How likely am I to get seriously ill from the new one? I’m 32, a little overweight, no co morbidities.

I hate myself for not going through with it sooner. I’m terrified of the vaccine/needle and terrified of getting this new variant

Please be kind, feel sick and shaky tonight.

With the smear, I'm not certain but I think it might now be possible to do a home test. Like I say, I'm not completely sure (I want to check now) and don't know how effective they might be, but if it's a possibility it's worth considering. You'll hopefully find it less traumatic if you could do it yourself at home?

I definitely recommend diazepam for smears. I struggled after a particularly painful one but the diazepam made it so much easier. I'm aware your situation is different of course.

It’s great you’re going for counselling that’s the first step. Would it calm you down a bit if you book d the first injection so you have it in your diary?

@londonmummy1966

Can yu try to desinsitise yourself a bit over the next few days by pricking your finger with a pin? I understand it is hard as I've seen the needle phobics coming in to a vaccine centre. One lady brought in two friends to hold her down as she was so desperate to have it but knew she'd not go through with it otherwise.

Oh god, I’m totally fine with needles, can watch blood tests being done on me, used to donate blood (can’t anymore), but give me a needle to prick my own finger and I physically cannot do it! I’d need to have lots of injections done to desensitise myself so I could prick my finger, not the other way round

The needles on these vaccines are particularly small and it is done very quickly. The first jab I had I didn't even feel it.

I understand how debilitating a phobia can be. Like the pp upthread, I have a phobia of vomit/vomiting. As a single parent I've had no choice but to deal with it as DD has had numerous vomiting bugs. The thought of it and the dread is much worse than the reality.

I know you mention PTSD after procedures in pregnancy but the vaccine is so quick it can in no way be compared to a blood test.

I hate anything needle related and close my eyes and tell them not to tell or explain anything to me. I do joy and will not look or listen. Sometimes I feel it a prick and first time I didn’t even know it had gone in, they are very understanding but I think god forbid I was ill then there would be many more needles etc

@INeedNewShoes

The needles on these vaccines are particularly small and it is done very quickly. The first jab I had I didn't even feel it.

I understand how debilitating a phobia can be. Like the pp upthread, I have a phobia of vomit/vomiting. As a single parent I've had no choice but to deal with it as DD has had numerous vomiting bugs. The thought of it and the dread is much worse than the reality.

I know you mention PTSD after procedures in pregnancy but the vaccine is so quick it can in no way be compared to a blood test.

Needle phobia is not often about the actual needle, and it is more about the control... stuff being done to you. Obviously, I can't speak for everyone else, but that is certainly the case for me.

Well done for getting counselling. Maybe your doctor could prescribe anti anxiety medicine or a sedative for the jab? I think that would work quickly.

[quote Honeyhorse]@XenoBitch thanks, it’s good to know I’m not alone in a way. I feel totally alone as mostly everyone I know is vaccinated.[/quote]
I'm terrified of needles (I've got a lot of dental appts soon and I'm dreading them) but I was determined to go ahead with the vaccine.

It really is a moment. I didn't look (I told them I was scared) and they were brilliant.

Be brave. You'll be proud of yourself

Research suggests that around 10% of vaccine refusers are needle phobic; it’s very common. I’m a CBT therapist and have been running a CBT needle phobia clinic. I had a massive surge of clients when universities were about to go back as students realised how restricted their lives would be without vaccines. Most people I see have avoided needles all their adult lives. Many start terrified to look at a cartoon of a needle, almost all of them end up having their vaccine after 3-4 sessions of CBT. We CBT therapists love phobias because generally people make fantastic progress.

The same principles can be applied to a more general anxiety about procedures. Trauma can also be treated @Honeyhorse - have you had any specific support or therapy for that? Obviously that wouldn’t be just 2, 3 or 4 sessions as a straightforward phobia would be, but it might really be worth having a CBT assessment with a BABCP accredited therapist or psychologist. When you mention counselling do you mean you’re having CBT?

It must be horrible right now for you. I had a needle phobia until I had kids. I developed pre eclampsia so blood draws got very boring so you can get over a needle phobia. Plus it's better to choose on your terms a very quick vaccine than say a canula in hospital. Not sure if that help rationalise it a bit.

Statistically you are very unlikely to get seriously ill with covid. It's very unlikely indeed. I have high blood pressure, I'm very overweight and I didnt know I had it until I lost my taste and smell.

It's the unknown element which is scary but the statistics are on your side. I do hope your vaccination goes ok. It's not a painful injection at all. It only throbs afterwards and by then it's long over. Sharp scratch really is exactly how it feels and the time its registered it's over. Dont look at the needle either. Look at the floor breath out when they do it. It all helps.

Might you be able to get a script for a couple of Ativan or Xanax pills? I now fly on half an Ativan, as a plane I was in almost crashed twenty years ago, I’ve never been the same since, and the anti-anxiety meds make everything tolerable.

Good luck to you.

At your age you're extremely unlikely to be severely ill with Covid, but a needle phobia could become a serious problem at any time for any reason so well done for taking this opportunity to try and get counselling. Many people have successfully addressed phobias with professional help.

Sorry I don’t know if this is helpful, And haven’t read it all, but is it possible to think that it’s a needle now but it would be many more needles if you needed treatment in hospital?

I think you are pretty brave admitting that its due to a needle phobia and I do think this is a lot more common than you think. I don't think its particularly helpful for you to be trying to work out what might happen if you were to get it unvaccinated etc because it is an unknown. You would most likely be absolutely fine but realistically your choices are not based around what you actually want, they are based around a needle/medical intervention phobia which most likely stems from having a such a horrible experience giving birth.

At some stage in your life you will need a blood test or injection or medical intervention. So I think you are being incredibly brave and making the right choice seeking counselling now.

I had a dental phobia for a number of years following a bad experience. Rationally I understood that the consequences of this were more extensive damage following avoiding dentists and more complex interventions. Yet all I could do was avoid it and ignore niggling pains. Eventually it came to a head with toothache. I was referred to the anxious patients clinic and received sedation but it was honestly the non medical techniques that made all the difference, there was a dental assistant whose job was to hold my hand and remind me to keep breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, I was told to listen to headphones to drown out the sound of the drill, I was given clear signs to use when it was all too much and they completely respected that boundary. Now I use those same techniques and don't need any medical intervention.

Perhaps if you can contact the vaccination centre or your GP you can get similar support. Maybe a short term diazepam? Or maybe being able to see the vaccination clinic, speak to someone about your concerns, having control of when and how to inject you, having emotional support might be all you need? I once had a patient with a needle phobia who asked me to hold the needle close to her arm until she was ready to go..she was completely incontrol of the procedure.

That’s a great idea form Garlandsingreece, bit of sedation to get you through it, so you could have it ASAP..

Phobias are cruel.
But don't lose hope that you won't find a way out of this.
Have you looked on youtube for ideas as to how to work through this by yourself?

@Honeyhorse

Even if I had one jab now…well I mean next week or whenever (if I could physically get myself there) would it protect me or do I need all 3 for protection?

One jab is better than no jab and its a stepping stone to the rest.

Any immunity is better than noimmunity.

So yes it will protect you to some extent. Those obviously not as much as 3.

Was also thinking sedation. But it can really knock you out. You would need someone with you.

OP I am very much the same. Phobic of needles and also any invasive procedures.
It’s so so tough and people just don’t understand- trotting out phrases about ‘just get in with it’ errr yes. If we could we would! No one says to somewhere afraid of heights just bungee jump off that tall bridge or jump out of a plane- just get in with it, because the fear is just so so awful. Feels like you are fighting for your life.
I am 2 years late for a smear because I just can’t bring myself to even phone for the appointment. Thinking about it brings me out in a sweat and makes me feel sick.
I’ve had them in the past and even have loads of dimazipam but even then, I am crying, muffeled screams, lots of ‘do you want me to stop’ from the nurse (who has been fully briefed) hyperventilating, uncontrollably shaking and once they had to bring in an oxygen tank and mask it was that bad. It’s literally agony, worse than vaginal childbirth in some ways which I have also had. So please, to those who are saying ‘just get on with it’ you have no clue.

@canary1

Sorry I don’t know if this is helpful, And haven’t read it all, but is it possible to think that it’s a needle now but it would be many more needles if you needed treatment in hospital?

No, that is not helpful.

Oh, you are depressed? Imagine how more depressed you might be if a family member died?

It does not work.

@XenoBitch You are correct. That's why some people are fine with blood tests as opposed to vaccination. Putting something in your body equals loss of control which is also why many suffering from mental health troubles don't take anti depressants. I doubt many on here will understand it.

My son is needle phobic. He bought some cream from the chemist which deadens the area. It's put on about 15 mins before the jab so it can't be felt. It's used for children in hospital. He went and didn't look, He just looked at his phone and got through both jabs that way.

It does get better if you can find a way to work at it
I had an awful dentist phobia, no reason for it. It came to a head when I realised I would rather crash my car on the way to the dentist
Weirdly what helped was having an extraction, because it was "is that the worst thing? It was ok"
I voluntarily had teeth whitening and some work done with my dentist eyeing me suspiciously as he was so used to me having headphones on and clutching the chair. He still gives me side eye

One thing I can tell you is that the vaccine needle is the least noticeable I have ever had. My hypervigilant ASD DD didn't realise the nurse had already given her it which was amazing!
So really is not sore at all.

Could you try and arrange to have it at your GP would that help? If you explained the situation and asked if you could have any medication as well? The massive vaccines centres aren’t the most relaxing spaces. Surely they want as many people vaccinated as possible so you may actually get some help and advice from your GP.