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Covid

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Original poster

When can I hug my child after covid?

64 replies

jentg · 02/12/2021 05:03

My daughter had a positive LFT & PCR 9 days ago. My son got it the next day and husband 5 days ago. I'm doing my best to keep away from the all which is hard.
I know not everyone would but I haven't hugged them as I'm trying for them to have one healthy parent in the house.
My daughter now has a negative LFT. I don't understand the science of it no matter what I Google. Would she still be infectious?
I'd love a cuddle. It's a lonely place being the last lady standing.

OP posts:
TinaYouFatLard · 02/12/2021 09:44

I know we’ve been ordered not to say “what have we become?” But what the fuck have we become?

han01uk · 02/12/2021 09:45

She could have a positive LFT for up to 90 days post covid, so ideally shouldn't be testing until then. If she is asymptomatic and has done her 10 days since the start of any symptoms (if she had any) then she shouldn't be contagious anymore. I have to say, both my kids had positive tests, with symptoms. We carried on as normal completely because my daughter has massive anxiety around dying. Neither me or my husband caught it, its a strange one to fathom.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 02/12/2021 09:47

It's unlikely to be transmissible on day 9 but not impossible. Some people are very sick with covid so I think you are being sensible OP. You shouldn't test after Covid as you can still show positive even though you are infectious. I can't remember how many days ,it's either 60 or 90,you'll have to google.

Cariah · 02/12/2021 09:50

10 days after the onset of symptoms is when it’s safe to go out because you’re no longer infectious. So count those 10 days for your child. Fwiw I think you’re being sensible trying not to catch it, it’s no good having both parents flat out and unable to go to the supermarket.

DisappearingGirl · 02/12/2021 09:51

Yes I think you're pretty safe after 10 days and if they no longer have symptoms.

Re the hugging, I am sure the OP's primary-age kids are not traumatised from keeping a slight distance from their mum for 10 days. It would be different if they felt rotten and were crying for a hug. But by the sound of it they were barely ill and happily chilling in the house and running round the garden. OP did not lock them in a coal cellar for 10 days.

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 02/12/2021 09:51

@Juniper68

7 and 9! That's so sad.
Why? We were all 7 & 9 once upon a time.
jening · 02/12/2021 09:52

@DisappearingGirl

Yes I think you're pretty safe after 10 days and if they no longer have symptoms.

Re the hugging, I am sure the OP's primary-age kids are not traumatised from keeping a slight distance from their mum for 10 days. It would be different if they felt rotten and were crying for a hug. But by the sound of it they were barely ill and happily chilling in the house and running round the garden. OP did not lock them in a coal cellar for 10 days.

If I had one I may contemplate it sometimes! Would be less mess round the house. ;-) thx for the msg
Outlyingtrout · 02/12/2021 09:57

Some people clearly rest easy in the knowledge that they have wide support networks. Not so for everyone. Of course if one parent is extremely sick then the one who is healthy is going to try to do everything to remain that way if there's nobody else to rely on for food, medicine, to care for young children if they recover first etc. I hate the way that OP has been patronised on this thread. How offensive.

I'm not sure how to answer your question OP but I'm sorry for some of the responses you've received.

Coughee · 02/12/2021 09:59

I agree outlyingtrout. I think some people are so eager to have a covid 'what have we become' rant that they've not even bothered to read what the op was actually saying.

NotMyCat · 02/12/2021 10:09

My mum has never hugged me Confused I'm still alive and well! Pretty sure a week or so won't do any harm

Dishhh · 02/12/2021 10:11

@HesterShaw1

Christ on a bike, what have we become?

You've become a predictable, shrill Covid minimiser who lacks reading comprehension skills.

QueenofKattegat · 02/12/2021 10:43

You can lump me in with HesterShaw then because I completely agree with her.

Shrill is an interestingly misogynistic choice of word. "Covid minimiser" is just laughable. I'm not sure it hits quite as hard as you'd like it to.

Dishhh · 02/12/2021 10:45

@QueenofKattegat

You can lump me in with HesterShaw then because I completely agree with her.

Shrill is an interestingly misogynistic choice of word. "Covid minimiser" is just laughable. I'm not sure it hits quite as hard as you'd like it to.

I'm fine with it, thanks.

dollywoodlooksgood · 02/12/2021 10:46

Bloody hell, why are some of you laying into the OP? I think she's being quite sensible and has her kids' best interests at heart. OP, for what it's worth, my DD tested positive last Thursday so we are on day 7 now and I have hugged her. We do have windows open and we do wear face masks. We test daily and also have done 3 PCRs, all negative so far. Still might catch it but I hope that with each day that possibility reduces. Am triple jabbed. DH double jabbed and okay so far.

Nietzschethehiker · 02/12/2021 10:53

The pp wittering terribly proudly that they are going to say it anyway that it's just so awful, the need for your own validation as relevant is about you and you alone.

What precisely do you think hand ringing dramatically at what we have become is going to achieve exactly?

Do you think on the post of a stressed mum it's going to highlight you as someone with useful coping tactics and encourage others to hear you? It's not, it highlights people who are more concerned with their own self gratification and need for validation by commenting. It instantly puts you into the category of people who feel the need to kick someone while they are down. The problem with most situations is attitudes like that.

If OP was a frontline worker who contracted it by not trying to limit contact you would be the same people up in arms that people weren't more careful so they could look after you. I wouldn't make these choices but nor am I necessarily in the same situation as OP . I have the privilege flexible WFH and a back up system.

You have every right to post these comments on a public forum and everyone else has the right to look down on your need to prioritise your own feelings over someone who's having a hard time. (PP not OP)

OP I'm sorry I don't know the answer so I can't help practicly , but please just know not everyone kicks while you are down. You have every right to do what's right for your family without the hand wringers gaining self gratification at your expense.

HesterShaw1 · 02/12/2021 12:46

Why thank you very much @Dishhh. But seeing as you don't know me and you can't hear my voice, (which is actually quite low if you're interested), I'm not bothered what your opinion of me is.

Carry on dishing out personal insults if it makes you happy though.

It's actually quite a reasonable question to ask. Do people avoid hugging their own small children when there are other infectious illnesses in the house?

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 02/12/2021 12:51

7 & 9 ? What does it matter what the lft says or mumsnet ? If the advice was 3 months you'd probably go along with that . My ds had covid ,he's 7 , i hugged him , I caught it too , so what , it's not leprosy
Does this no hugging apply to chicken pox , flu , a cold? Where's the line?

Delatron · 02/12/2021 13:41

I think it’s fair enough to point out how ridiculous this had become. When a double vaccinated parent won’t hug an asymptomatic (or even ill) child.

Humans need social contact and interaction. Children need looking after. I’m guessing they’re eating meals in their rooms alone? It gets dark at 4 and it’s freezing so saying they’re happy running around the garden all day doesn’t ring true.

This will make a very interesting (and sad) chapter in history when we look back. Especially the way we treated children. The fear is disproportionate.

It’s not healthy for children to be denied of company (apart from a sibling) for 10 days to avoid an illness that we have good vaccines for.

It’s like we are scared of being ill these days. Anyone remember how awful flu/pneumonia/ chest infections are?

Delatron · 02/12/2021 13:43

@HesterShaw1 @Dishhh is very good at popping on to threads and insulting people. I feel when you have to resort to insults you really lose the argument before you’ve started.

Mantlemoose · 02/12/2021 13:49

Fuck me who wouldn't hug their child at that age. This is actually where the term sheeples really does come in to it's own. How bloody sad.

ComDummings · 02/12/2021 13:50

Just hug them. I had covid that I caught from my children. Even though I’m clinically vulnerable I just couldn’t not cuddle them, they’re a similar age to yours. As it happens I caught it but it was OK. I mean it’s never nice being ill, it was like a nasty cold/flu. But I just felt like if they had flu or chicken pox or something else infectious I wouldn’t withhold affection so what makes this so different.

Shimmylikejoanholloway · 02/12/2021 13:52

I think people are giving OP a hard time. She’s being practical as her husband is very poorly, I can see why you would do that especially if the child wasn’t feeling bad and it was only for a few days. I would still hug my DS but it’s personal choice how people deal with this.

jening · 02/12/2021 14:12

@Delatron

I think it’s fair enough to point out how ridiculous this had become. When a double vaccinated parent won’t hug an asymptomatic (or even ill) child.

Humans need social contact and interaction. Children need looking after. I’m guessing they’re eating meals in their rooms alone? It gets dark at 4 and it’s freezing so saying they’re happy running around the garden all day doesn’t ring true.

This will make a very interesting (and sad) chapter in history when we look back. Especially the way we treated children. The fear is disproportionate.

It’s not healthy for children to be denied of company (apart from a sibling) for 10 days to avoid an illness that we have good vaccines for.

It’s like we are scared of being ill these days. Anyone remember how awful flu/pneumonia/ chest infections are?

Wow what a piece of work with the assumptions you make and the slurs against my parenting. If I listed blow by blow their day it would read as long as war and peace. Safe to say I'm lucky enough to be in a big enough house we can be distant and look out for each other. They are very happy children and have excellent care and love. They've had company from their mother but we've been careful. I am doing this so they can continue to have the level of support they need. Have you actually seen someone really struggle with covid? My SIL is a paediatric nurse and was one of the first with it. She has long covid and may have permanent organ damage. So YES I take it seriously. I did not ask for your opinions on how I care for my children neither do I want them. If you comment again I will report you for abuse.
Ionlydomassiveones · 02/12/2021 14:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Delatron · 02/12/2021 14:16

Ok OP. As long as you think your children are fine with you distancing from them what’s the worry?

To be honest I’ve seen so many of these posts. That’s where my anger is. Not at you. I just find it sad. If you find that abusive then report and I’m sure Mumsnet will remove my inflammatory post.