The losses of 10 day isolation...and the what if of Christmas.

[yellow1000]

Disclaimer - this is a purely selfish rant and an overly panicky panic for Christmas.

Ds is on day 10 today and can leave isolation tomorrow. The rest of the house haven't caught it. He's been totally asymptomatic in terms of covid. In terms of emotional state - he's been severely affected.

It couldn't have come at a worse time. If only it had been at a 'normal week'. This has been the impact:

• birthday in home isolation - can't get the day back etc
• cancelled birthday party - can't rebook date until after Xmas due to Xmas bookings and people's plans
• cancelled birthday meals with family, some not in the area again until next year. Others all booked up in the run up to Xmas.
• missed a much waited for event - can't get tickets again, only refund
• missed the school show which lots of practice has been had, obviously it went ahead without him.

He's actually really sad and disillusioned with looking forward to anything anymore. We were in lockdown last birthday as well.

This brings my thoughts to Xmas. None of the rest of the house has had covid (or the people we are spending it with) so there's just as good a chance of infection.

In the 10 days leading up to Xmas, we have family meals, events, panto etc and usual Xmas with family. A lot of things to miss. A lot of things you can't just 'redo'. He's saying 'just cancel it all, there's no point looking forward to it' (we won't, it's just a demonstration of how it's affecting him)

Nothing can be done, just a rant. Covid is shit.

Op how did you know he was a positive?

Was he a close contact so you tested

Can I add that last year, we were so cautious. We went nowhere, saw nobody, just to give my DS a fighting chance at school. We literally lived life in a bubble.

Then, the DS caught it at school anyway!
I'm not saying throw caution to the wind, but you can't live life in a vaccum, that's no way to live either or no lesson to teach.

I hope you are all cut a break soon. Sounds like a tough run.

it is unbelievably shit, all around

OP its shit i hear you

Honestly this is why i dont test my kids. Its so unfair as they're so mildly affected. One of my DC currently has covid, as do I and we are unwell but still my DH and other DC are not and will not test. I wouldn't test if not ill and i only tested to get paid in work. My other DC only tested to get the infection immunity for travel.

In summer when we had holiday plans we did all our usual fun stuff - we simply refused to test - at all. At least now there is no contact isolation - then we also had to block T&T!

Once this isolation is over, do not test. At all. If ill, stay in for the days you are sick and off you go. This virus is going nowhere. Everyone as to take their own precautions. You are carrying the can when everyone else is just getting on with life. Kids do not need anymore upset and they are not responsible for others.

This time last year cases were lower and noone would have thought contact isolation would be gone - isolation with covid will be gone soon enough too

@Idolovetrees

Yes it's rubbish. I'm more concerned about isolation at the moment and missing things than covid itself.

That's exactly how I feel now too.

@MarshaBradyo

Op how did you know he was a positive?

Was he a close contact so you tested

Yes - there was a positive case at school do we tested as that's what we were told to do. If we hadn't then, we would never have known as he's completely symptom free. I don't know how I feel about it all anymore.

4 of his friends all tested positive. All asymptomatic. All missed lots of stuff including 8 days of education. All with SEN and mental health problems 🤷‍♀️

@nether

As is irritatingly helpfully pointed out to the highly immune compromised CEV, you could be in the same situation any year from any other infectious disease

Do you mean if you were CEV? Or in our situation?

In our situation I can only think of chicken pox or measles that might have the same effect of isolating and cancelling everything for 10 days. Not a regular yearly occurrence in winter.

Thanks for all the solidarity everyone.

This has massively changed my feelings on the whole thing. Well, I'm conflicted I should say. It feels really wrong what we're doing to kids. But I understand why at the same time. I think I'll be happy when testing is scrapped in April and people just stay at home when they're sick. Maybe.

OP I really get it. I was discussing this with a friend recently and we both agreed that we loved last autumn and winter because all the things we organised were things with our families, at home, or with other families, outdoors; as a result nothing had to be cancelled and there were no disappointments.

However, I'm astonished by the selfishness of those who are just not testing their kids any more. DD (7 at the time) was very poorly with covid for weeks. It's not mild for all children, and never mind for the adults that they take it home to, or the teachers who pick it up at work...

Stolen

I have covid right now, feel terrible and been ill 7 days so far as has my DC. But i was just as ill 2 years ago with flu yet didn't expect the world to isolate to prevent it

Adults/kids and even teachers have got sick before now you know!

Watapalava
Do you think it's also ok to send a kid into school less than 48 hours after they've finished a vomiting bug? Or when you were ill with flu, would you go about when you were still infectious? It's not about covid being dramatically different to any other illness, it's just about doing your best not to spread it on, as I would hope you would with any infection.

My DD6 was coughing and coughing yesterday so I did the right thing and got her tested. We are still waiting for results, she’s now missed another day of school that she can’t afford to miss after 3 days off last week for a vomiting bug. I had to reschedule the start of a new job to this week, I don’t know what I’ll do if it comes back positive or is not back today as I can’t delay the start again. I only work 0 hours contracts due to childcare issues but it means I can’t work and are losing money. I also lost money on Afterschool clubs last week that she was booked into but couldn’t attend and then on top of that I didn’t get paid as on 0 hours.
Today she is fine and hardly coughing I just wished I never tested her in the first place.

@Coconut49

Things will get better. Maybe in March 2022 we won't have to isolate if Covid positive according to this:-

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10199325/No-self-isolation-test-positive-Covid-legal-powers-expire-March.html

How's that better? My adult DS will be shut in his house again. He's going to die soon of what he's got anyway, he doesn't want to die even sooner of Covid.

Yes so sad op

Our first holiday or night away from home in 2 years was lost due to isolation through contact at school when that wax a thing so 4 days of holiday missed even though i took 1 kid out of school 1 week early.
However we still arent doing virtually anything. Just activities after school. This weekend is the first party my 1 dc has been to inside since mar 2020. And do feel a little annoyed that all the parents maskless who will then cause an outbreak and my kid to miss school - or even just through a non covid cold. Or the kids doing a crazy amount with several parties a weekend -- so others miss important things.
Tbh this is why we havent booked our own dc parties as chances of getting covid arent low maybe 1/50 each week. And having to cancel a party. All the money lost.

DC2
---
Any parties at all for starting reception last year
50% of her preschool year.
1/6 reception
1/2 nativities (hopefully one next year??)
Several school trips
1 year of 2 rainbows
In contact isolation for 6th birthday
4/14 days holiday
2 school trips
Dc1
-
50% of y3
1/6 yr 4
One school trip last year cancelled luckily moved to this year
will get 1year /2.5 years brownies
2 swimming lessons at school so missed 5.
2 school trips

Both
-
Weve not restarted afterschool swimming so over 18m missed each child
Seeing dsis and cousins 2 years
1 christmas with family

I want my dc vaccinated so much lower chances of missing out on more!
And i think unfortunately the symptomatic testing is obviously increasing the time kids are off school or missing stuff as with no masks loads of kids have coughs.

Stolen

My kids stay off when unwell and thats it so if they have a 12 hour bug yes i send them in when well - I wont be keeping them off 3 days if they've been vomiting 12 hours. I dont know a single person who does that in real life - i bet its hardly any.

I have no idea of infectious period of flu and bet most dont - again i stay off when unwell then go back in. What i'm suggesting now i exactly where we will be in 6 months time

Wow. I don't know anyone who doesn't keep their kids off for the advised periods. And I have a feeling that if someone on here started a thread 'AIBU to send my child back to school after they've been vomiting all yesterday?' they would get their arses handed to them!

I know people who absolutely would send their kids back after vomiting the night before. Two of my good friends think nothing of vomiting. They are good people, not at all selfish in any other walk of life, in fact will bend over backwards to help others. They are very intelligent the pair of them. One is a law lecturer & one is a CFO.

But neither of them think anything of vomiting. They vom, they carry on. As someone with emetephobia, it blows my mind. & makes me kinda jealous! One of them threw up all night at the weekend & was still planning on coming for lunch with a gang on us yesterday 🥴 Thankfully, she knows about my phobia & kindly asked me how I’d feel about it. She decided not to come for my sake. Which was very kind but also, I imagine the rest of the nearby diners are also unknowingly grateful too!

Back to you OP, it’s so shit. Im so sorry for your little boy. I really hope everything else goes to plan for you 🙏🏼 I’m pulling my kids out of school/nursery a bit early this Christmas, I can’t risk it. Much like you, I had covid & no-one else caught it from me! 😩 I really wish they had so we could all crack on! The few days they’ll miss, I’ve planned educational walks & scavenger hunts, I’ve got phonics games ready, we have a set of reading books at home anyway. I’ve got maths resources ready to print off. They’ll keep on learning covid free 🙈

How's that better? My adult DS will be shut in his house again. He's going to die soon of what he's got anyway, he doesn't want to die even sooner of Covid

It isn't better for the highly vulnerable.

Who are told to shut themselves away, but not make a fuss because you can get ill with other things too. Even though there has been nothing in several generations with this number of cases in the population - it's still no different apparently.

It's shit so

And what gets lost in that, is that any of us could end up in that situation - at any age, you are one lump or blood test away from it.

If my household member died in the pandemic, manynwouid be saying 'but the exceptionally vulnerable were going to die anyway, or it could have happened with flu' but if we're diagnosed during the pandemic and died, then that's a tragedy and a healthcare scandal. Same person, still dead, but one way is easier to ignore (or use for political policy not scoring)

As you can tell, after months of shielding and the prospect of years of additional precautions (read the post-shield letter?) utter fuck ups (and I Sussexes etc lies) about third primary jabs, there are MH consequences.

But if we ever say anything about society's need to remember the most vulnerable, and that it's a sign of humaneness and consideration, then we get panned for posting sanctimonious twaddle.

@yellow1000 Can you make contingency plans with him so he's really clear what will happen? Eg if mum has it, dad will take him to x event. Maybe a flow chart so he can see it really clearly.

It's horrible OP. I had a close call (colleague tested positive) over the last few working days. I've been doing loads of lots! When I was told he was positive I was amazed when I went through the people I'd already seen and what, as a family, we would miss. Fingers crossed I remain negative as at the weekend my husband and I are away. A postponed fancy weekend away for DHs 40 which was in January.
Its horrible and I think everyone's resilience has taken a battering over the last 20 months.

OP I hope your son enjoys what you have coming up, all I can suggest is to just look forward to one thing at a time to minimise disappointment.

@Watapalava

OP its shit i hear you

Honestly this is why i dont test my kids. Its so unfair as they're so mildly affected. One of my DC currently has covid, as do I and we are unwell but still my DH and other DC are not and will not test. I wouldn't test if not ill and i only tested to get paid in work. My other DC only tested to get the infection immunity for travel.

In summer when we had holiday plans we did all our usual fun stuff - we simply refused to test - at all. At least now there is no contact isolation - then we also had to block T&T!

Once this isolation is over, do not test. At all. If ill, stay in for the days you are sick and off you go. This virus is going nowhere. Everyone as to take their own precautions. You are carrying the can when everyone else is just getting on with life. Kids do not need anymore upset and they are not responsible for others.

This time last year cases were lower and noone would have thought contact isolation would be gone - isolation with covid will be gone soon enough too

I can't pretend this doesn't make me cross but I so also totally understand it. We've got a special trip coming up at the end of the week and the temptation to stop testing is high. My employer asks us to test twice a week, as does DD's school even though she's in year six, as we've got very, very high rates around us. But we're still doing it because we believe in the reasons for doing so, even though the personal cost can be high, and we have contact with vulnerable family members who we are keen to protect if we can.

Among our friends I'd say compliance with this is still really high too, but they're in different areas and I don't know that many of the school mums very well here so I'm not sure how many are actually doing it at our school. One I do know well is a GP and she is still doing it; the other's DD has SEN and she manages to get her to test once a week.

What I wanted to ask, @Watapalava, is do you think you're an exception or do you get the impression that most people around you feel the same? Or - not feel the same (because I sometimes feel the same but am still testing) but do the same?

@Watapalava

OP its shit i hear you

Honestly this is why i dont test my kids. Its so unfair as they're so mildly affected. One of my DC currently has covid, as do I and we are unwell but still my DH and other DC are not and will not test. I wouldn't test if not ill and i only tested to get paid in work. My other DC only tested to get the infection immunity for travel.

In summer when we had holiday plans we did all our usual fun stuff - we simply refused to test - at all. At least now there is no contact isolation - then we also had to block T&T!

Once this isolation is over, do not test. At all. If ill, stay in for the days you are sick and off you go. This virus is going nowhere. Everyone as to take their own precautions. You are carrying the can when everyone else is just getting on with life. Kids do not need anymore upset and they are not responsible for others.

This time last year cases were lower and noone would have thought contact isolation would be gone - isolation with covid will be gone soon enough too

Agree with this approach 100%. Just test when I absolutely have to. The amount of money being spent on testing is mega and could be given to the NHS instead. We should stop testing and just keep an eye on hospitalisations/deaths. As in average deaths for time of year not just deaths within 28 days of having Covid. COVID is endemic now and we need to accept it is just another virus we could get and get on with our lives. The obsession with testing and covid is damaging to children - many are having severe anxiety and behavioural problems (witnessed in my line of work).

I think often by the time you get a positive LFT or PCR then the kids have been merrily spreading it around for days. So isolation period over the top. Especially for asymptomatic children.

Ds2 had a random vomit on a Saturday a couple of weeks ago. Kept him off school for 48 hours. Tested him. Negative. Sent him back in Tuesday. Tested again Weds. negative. Thursday positive.
Zero other symptoms. So was the vomit Covid?

He now can’t go back to school until next Tuesday. He has is feeling well. We’ve not picked it up despite zero social distancing . My feeling is he’s not contagious anymore but we’ll have to stick to isolation period. He misses a big birthday party this week he was looking forward

Looking forward to when we stop testing symptomless children.

Changing

I get the impression 99% of people i know feel same. Not just friends (who are more likely to share my opinion), but colleagues, random people I bump into etc.

Strangely many of my friends are nhs and also feel the same. I do not believe we should be testing asymptomatically full stop- many EU countries do not.

We are literally searching for cases which is stupid when 1/4 of infected people are estimated to be asymptomatic! Asymptomatic testing only works if everyone does it - i dont know hardly anyone outside of schools. Ask around yourself (non parents of young kids) and youll see!

In work we are offered 2 x lft and 1 x PCR a week (high risk area) and uptake is maybe 1 or 2 people out of 50+. They can't be forced - just strongly requested - so noone does them.

Dc tell me their friends no longer test at home - this term their school actually continued one site testing 2x week - the entire year 11 refused, my ds included as they've got mocks coming up! Their school is only school in region still doing on site tests every week and people are fed up! All that's happening is that dozens have to isolate everyday - covid is everywhere so its not actually stopping cases, just forcing all these perfectly well kids to stay at home!

Its bizzare - adults all going out and about doing what they want, not testing. Outside of those with no young kids, my experience is that noone is testing.

Parents still testing their kids etc are being treated like mugs imo they really are - I refuse to put other people above my family and my kids anymore. People who are now at risk of covid will be equally at risk of D&V, flu, pneumonia etc. With such a high % of people having covid asymptomatically, all these hero testers are doing is upsetting their own family.