I've totally messed up - can anyone help?

[holly76666]

I came down with a mild case of Covid the week before last and immediately went into isolation. I knew I had it as I completely lost my taste and smell, then did a lateral flow test to confirm which came up positive. The stupid thing is, I didn't then follow this up with a PCR test and decided just to stay home on the basis of the positive lateral flow instead.

DH tested consistently negative on the lateral flows throughout the 10 days but yesterday he started feeling a bit unwell. He did a LFT which came back positive and then immediately ordered a PCR in the post, which should be arriving today.

I'm now so worried that when DH's PCR inevitably comes back positive, the test and trace people are going to ask me to do a PCR as a close contact, because although I've just finished my 10 days of isolation and am feeling better, as far as they're aware I haven't had Covid.

We have toddler DC who haven't shown any symptoms and haven't been tested with LFT or PCR.

I'm a complete idiot for not booking a PCR for myself when I had it - the reason I didn't was down to my anxiety issues, although I know that's no excuse. Am I going to have to do a PCR and spend another 10 days in isolation? Should I admit that I've already had it or will that get me into trouble?

Please no horrible comments as I'm already beating myself up massively over this.

What are my options?

Thanks everyone. So if you were me would you get a PCR done now or just leave it?

Also would you order a PCR for your toddler DC even if they're not showing any symptoms?

I think I’d just fess up to T&T. They might tut at you but nothing else will happen. You haven’t broken any laws. You should get the DC tested in case they are positive but asymptomatic.

"Also would you order a PCR for your toddler DC even if they're not showing any symptoms?"

That depends on whether you would be happy to stick a swab up your toddler's nose, even if he hated it. Personally I wouldn't. But you're not me. If he or she were showing symptoms of (any) illness we'd stay at home and I'd be looking after him/her as appropriate.

I think your timeframe for getting a PCR test has been and gone.

I would not test a toddler. I would respond if they have symptoms by isolating them for 10 days.

I wouldn’t even think of it as ‘fessing up’ to T&T. It’s your choice to have a pcr or not. You can fill them in on the situation, and if they tut they ABU!!!

I would get a PCR just so if I have any medical problems down the line it’s easier, and not to get out on a covid ward if I still test positive in a few months but could get it again

I truly don't understand why someone who intended to isolate correctly wouldn't register their LFT and do a PCR so as to have proof they had had covid. Various ways it could potentially be useful, and no downside whatsoever.
Different if one wanted to keep the flexibility not to isolate, of course....

Test and Trace will advise you to get a PCR but there is nothing they can do to force you to have one. For context a family member refused to get a PCR when they were a close household contact. They went to a wedding and a number of guests ended up with Covid. They didn’t do anything wrong from a legal point of view. Morally, well that’s another thing altogether. However, your decisions are not impacting anyone else so please don’t beat yourself up.

Don't worry op, like everyone else says T&T will suggest a PCR for all household members but it's just part of the script they don't follow up or enforce it. I spoke to them today as dd tested positive, they didn't quiz me on the rest of the family, just gave advice that we didn't have to isolate but they recommend we get tested.

I didnt do a PCR when DH and DS got covid, even though I'm obviously close contact. It's entirely voluntary and you won't get in trouble.

OP, look. You asked for no horrible comments, and you seem pretty focused on two things:

• will you get in trouble
• will you have to isolate again

Yet these aren’t the problems that keep spreading this disease. I have anxiety myself so when you say anxiety stopped you from getting a PCR, I understand. Things can just grow to epic proportions in your mind. But unfortunately, PCRs are part of how we stop COVID. It’s absolute shit luck you got it after being double vaccinated; you did everything right, so I’m not pretending it’s “fair.” COVID never is. But we know now that people are contagious before they’re unwell. We know that the disease can have symptoms your toddler couldn’t necessarily tell you about or can be asymptomatic, yet you say you’ve given your toddler no LFT or PCR. Have they been isolating the entire time that you and DH have been sick, including a few days before you felt unwell so they couldn’t have passed it on? I hope this isn’t a horrible comment because I want your family to be well and have to isolate for the shortest amount of time so I would say…

You’d be better off just doing the PCR now or you’ll be worrying for the next three months, as that’s how long test results may come back positive from you having COVID and then you’d have to isolate again or not be able to travel or have to go through T&T then. And honestly? It would make sense to just test your toddler now too, as for all you know, you might have gotten it from him, he might have an asymptomatic case, he might be able to spread it, etc. IF you think you can just put this aside and not worry or have anxiety about having positive results for the next three months or your toddler spreading it anywhere, then I guess maybe don’t do the PCRs. But otherwise, I would want to get them over with.

It is ABSOLUTELY your choice, so you need to make the decision you feel best with. You’re not going to get in trouble. Contrary to some beliefs, T&T aren’t the “COVID police.” They don’t “trace” who has PCRs once they’ve informed you. They’re JUST informing you. I’m only recommending you do it now, so you can avoid all this in possibly another month or two months. Best of luck, OP, and I do hope your DH feels better.

You’d be better off just doing the PCR now or you’ll be worrying for the next three months, as that’s how long test results may come back positive from you having COVID and then you’d have to isolate again or not be able to travel or have to go through T&T then.

@SudokuWillNotSaveYou I don’t understand the significance of 3 months, unless I want to travel abroad - which we won’t be? Is there any other reason I have missed?

Have they been isolating the entire time that you and DH have been sick, including a few days before you felt unwell so they couldn’t have passed it on?

They weren’t isolating a few days before I felt unwell, as obviously I didn’t know I had it so we were going about our usual business. When I got ill, I isolated for 10 days but DH (who had negative daily lateral flows) took the DC out for some quiet walks. In hindsight was he allowed to do this?!

Now DH has got it the DC are not isolating, as I thought it was okay for me to take them out now I’m out of isolation. Have I got that wrong?

I actually did another lateral flow this morning which was negative, does that mean the PCR would be negative too?

@holly76666

I actually did another lateral flow this morning which was negative, does that mean the PCR would be negative too?

Not necessarily. Lots of people test positive on pcrs after negative lfts.

I read on another thread that people absolutely wouldn’t test their toddlers unless they showed symptoms. Is that the general consensus?

No, OP, you will not get in “trouble” for any of these things. I was more trying to make the point, like other PPs, that this just doesn’t make your life easier. Those under 18 don’t have to self-isolate as close contacts, but I was mentioning the fact that you never tested your child despite being a close contact (or children). If you don’t know whether your child/ren is positive and you are, yes, might be best to isolate them. And if it doesn’t matter if you test positive for three months, then don’t have a PCR. It sounds like your children aren’t in nursery, so they won’t be close contacts of anyone else, so at least that’s good. You want to avoid official trouble? Ok. You haven’t done anything that will get you in official trouble. So relax. You want to avoid ever having a PCR? Avoiding one now doesn’t guarantee that. Have you considered posting to ask if anyone has the same anxiety you have about PCRs and how they dealt with it? I know people have had to face all sorts with this pandemic, everything from PCRs triggering their gag reflex to triggering previous sexual abuse, so whatever the anxiety, you won’t be alone.