How are you dealing with wfh and schooling? Stressed!

[Littlemiss74]

I’m feeling pretty stressed out with everything and I think it’s making me feel unwell.

Me & DH are working from home, he hates it and is very grumpy and snappy. I work half days and have one day off a week but this work my work has got busier due to the virus situation and I’m finding it hard to keep up.

Then there the dc’s 7 & 12 who are trying to do the online home learning. I feel like I’ve abandoned them and my little girl is starting to get upset. She is missing the routine of school i think and I just feel so bad I am not giving her enough attention.

My DH tried to sit and help with school work today but ended up arguing with ds and I was trying to work. DS is lazy and will do as little work as he can get away with.

I am in a vulnerable group so have been really anxious and my Dad has become unwell and can’t visit as he’s in care home. Am so upset and worried I’m going to lose him.

Me & dh are getting on each others nerves constantly. It’s just such an unhappy atmosphere and I don’t know what to do. My head is spinning and anxiety is high.

Please can anyone help and tell me how in particular you are coping with wfh and dc’s school work?

DH is working in the bedroom. I'm helping the kids do their school stuff in either their bedrooms or in the kitchen at the table. I do some work dotted throughout the day when they have breaks then finish it in the evening.

Also finding it unbelievably stressful. I'm a secondary teacher at home with three primary aged children. My husband is an NHS worker and is run off his feet. I feel guilty whether I'm educating my children or educating other people's children, coupled with uncertainty about how exam results are going to be awarded! I must have looked stressed today - my elderly neighbour offered to do our shopping for us! (Obviously I refused and told her to stay at home and not to worry about us - we'd Just had a wine delivery!)

I work 30 hours a week, I am starting at 7.30am, letting the DC have a lay in till 9.30, breakfast washed and dressed. The older two work independently. Youngest has free time for a couple of hours and then tries to work independently for an hour.

We have lunch when I finish at 1. 30 and then I concentrate on DS.

We are not doing full curriculum or 6 hour school days. I am not a natural teacher and youngest DS is very reluctant. We would hate each other if we tried a full school day.

Just do what you can.

The older DC teacher is ringing once a week and they said its just to keep their brain ticking over. They don't expect a full on education program.

Finding it tough too. I work 8 hour days, incredibly busy (NHS office role) lots of time spent in video conference each day. 2 DC (12 and15). 12 yr old has lots of school work, 15 yr old has none (exams cancelled). Seriously considering paying older child to tutor younger one!

It’s tough. I’m a remote employee (in tech) but now I’m a remote employee with my two sidekicks aged 4 and 6. I basically get nothing done. I’m a single parent.

I have upset th kids by losing the plot with anguish as I am late to join calls, I’m unprepared and I’ve been pleading with the kids and almost falling apart in despair. I also work with customers in the nonprofit docs and the last thing I want to do is let them down now.

I’ve cut myself some slack and acknowledged I can’t do it.

There’s a window of opportunity in the morning. They eat breakfast, then settle down for a few cartoons. Then the iPad. I work.

By 11 they are unravelling so I’ve decided to stop work then. Start making lunch and get us all outside for a couple of hours or more. Then try to get a couple more hours done, but if not, so be it.

But I’ve been working til midnight to catch up.

Feels relentless but at least we are safe.

Fk me! I dont work anymore and I've done no formal school work with my kids.
I'm a huge advocate for education, so Im not being clueless. I'm a master's degree student myself in sciences.

My kids are secondary, primary, preschool, one has significant SEN.
They've had way too much screen time.
But they've also done chalk drawings outside, found catepillars, spotted butterflies, met a rottweiler today in our gated community grounds and my neighbour brought out her snake, at my request, to show them and gave them a talk about what it eats, it shedding its skin etc etc while we sat like am audience 2 meters away cos if social distancing. Read stories. Practiced tennis.
Learning through play is might approach for the first few weeks. Zero tutoring or coaching, it's just not worth the arguing imo.
Yes there's a bunch of keen parents on the class whatsapp but their also messages if honest despair - I'm not doing either of those, no thanks

It’s not great, but I got laid off today so can just look after the D.C. silver linings and all that. DH will get my study now and I’ll decamp to the dining room with them. I’d only been in the job 2 weeks!

I'm a LP with one DC, 7, it's a bit hit or miss. we're not going too mad on the school work but I do insist on small bursts of reading, drawing, spelling, computer maths etc throughout the day. Interspersed with a lot of minecraft for my sanity. I also seem to find that in the morning while he's eating breakfast I can get an hour or two done quite easily. I don't feel so guilty about screens. We've made his bedroom into a nice study room so it feels a bit special, with a desk and some nice stationery etc. Work often taking a backseat but what can you do? Make sure to do some fun stuff, it's not all work, use it as bribery e.g. make a cake, ask them what they want to learn about etc. Don't rigidly stick to the curriculum if it's not working for you. Flex it up a bit.

It’s a f**king nightmare

I’m wfh 8-4, dh at work all day and comes in miserable as his job is particularly horrible at the moment.... but I’ve been stuck with dd17 who is refusing to leave the house or exercise (slightly worried if this goes on for 6 months ) and dd15 who won’t do any work at all as no exams (again if this goes on 6 months she won’t have done any work at all).... the day feels like a battle and then happy chap comes home !

I’ve retired to bed at 9pm!

@CanICelebrate
I agree. My eldest DS12 just mopes about, doesn't understand the work or what he's supposed to be doing. The youngest DS6 has an attention span of 5 minutes so he's constantly saying what can I do now? I'm bored. When is school over? I am trying to stick to rule of no screens except for learning between 9 and 3 but this is going to be relaxed in the next 2 weeks!

We're all completely wrung out. I work 3 days a week but because of what I do am now working every day at home. DH out at work due to what he does. Kids are 11 and 6. We got news that a good friend had died on Tuesday night. It all fell apart today. Kids in tears, 11 year old finding it all too much and feeling angry. 6 year old can't comprehend it all and shouty and refusing to do any learning. I'm hoping it'll get easier next week. Fuck home schooling, I'm just trying to give emotional support to my kids and DH, feed them well, have a bit of fun with them every day, and get 10 minutes outside on my own every day.

We're not doing very well at all with it if I'm honest. I have ds 10 to home school and a toddler to entertain whilst trying to keep up with uni work and exam revision. I feel like I'm failing miserably on all counts, so stressed with it all.

Ds is being great with the work that I give him but I just don't have the time to sit and go through everything with him. I'm hoping things will settle when we're more in a routine with it all.

Fucking horrorific! Those are the only words to describe it

I'm trying to work full time from home with a two year old who doesn't understand what's going on. Husband is still working for a prick of a boss who doesn't believe corona virus is real and isn't enforcing social distancing etc. He's an employed builder so won't get paid if he leaves and we're still having to pay nursery so.....yeah that's fun!

I had a complete breakdown last night as I just couldn't cope with the amount of work I have to do and look after my son. My husband has taken today and tomorrow off just to help but it'll start again next week.

If the schools/nurseries are shut until September I have no idea how I'm going to cope. I love my son and love spending time with him but I can't cope doing both.

Can you wfh in different rooms. We only have one DC age 2 but me and DP aren’t seeing much of each other. We swap every hour/hour and a half.

DC is watching more iPad YouTube than I would like but I think we just have to do what we can to get through this without going mad.

Can you stick a movie on for them to watch? Something like blue planet so it’s a little educational?

Have you got outside space for them to play outside?

Sounds like you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Do what you need to keep yourself mentally afloat and that should rub off on the kids.

It’s just all very very hard and very stressful.

I do realise I shouldn’t complain as we are lucky to have jobs, especially ones we can do from home. But I don’t know how we can be expected to do our jobs the same number of hours from home whilst supervising kids, and also be expected to teach kids as if they were in school. It’s just not possible.

DH and I both very tired, very stressed. He is FT and I am PT and so the school work seems to be mainly falling on me to do. I have to squeeze in my own work around it, and I don’t want my workplace to think I am taking the piss, i really want to keep my job.
I just feel I am doing everything badly right now.

I also feel I should be nurturing my kids and making this an enjoyable experience as much as possible but it’s hard when I am tired and stressed.

I’m not coping at all. I’m trying to work full time in a demanding job requiring lots of concentration. ExP’s new wife is having a baby any day so they won’t have DS (6) there. And my DP has been increasingly erratic/forgetful/irritating and I’ve been so annoyed and short with him. Had to take him to A&E today. They think he’s had a stroke. Bit numb now. They’ve kept him in and I don’t really know where to put myself.

Me and my husband are working from home with 2 kids. It's been awful and hard this week. We are both really busy with extra work due to the virus or my husband making sure everything is working for people at home. The kids are 5 and 2 so cant really leave them at all. It is nearly impossible to work our hours and look after the kids. Not done much work with the 5 year old. They have played outside a lot but they need more attention. As we are always having to check for messages and emails and try do bits of work where we can. Neither work has suggested anything and they kind of expect us to work as normal. Feel shit as know I am not putting enough focus on work or the kids and have hardly spend time with my husband as working on evenings.
Think we might both take a days holiday next week on different days to ease the pressure until things settle down.
Cant keep this up for months as it's like 2 full time jobs. Childcare and work.

Dd1 was very good and wrote a timetable with dh which we follow currently, but the work we’re doing we are getting through easily as there are not other children around being disruptive. Most of our work is done in the morning. Dh takes dds for a jog/bike ride around the local park. Then we do some work in the afternoons and reading at bedtime.

If you think about it, there are lots of interruptions through the day like assemblies, PE, visits from an author/ theatre group, swimming lessons. Some of these won’t figure in our week at home.

We had Music this morning, both dds practicing guitar and piano 🙉

I think we all just need to accept that ‘home school’ really isn’t school, and not to put too much pressure on ourselves.
I’m on day 7 of it, as DD’s school shut last Tuesday.
To begin with, I was full of optimism, created a lovely colour coded timetable, and was up for this schooling lark!

A week on, the timetable has sort of fallen by the wayside.
We try to follow it, loosely, but as DD invariably needs help with lessons, or needs to be on my laptop or phone, there’s just isn’t time in the day to get it all done.

Things that have worked really well for us:
Focus on ‘life skills’ type of lessons rather than ‘school’ lessons. DD has enjoyed cookery the most.
Use grandparents as teachers - keeps them focused and busy too (this only works if they’re tech literate): DD has been doing cookery lessons with my mum via FaceTime / messenger video call - laptop set up in the kitchen, then DD and my mum cook the same thing together at the same time, step by step. DD Has made lasagne and burgers do far.
Similarly, we’ve set up history lessons with her grandad, who’s a retired headmaster.
DD does a 3 way video call with him and her best friend, and he’s testing them on their knowledge of the Romans.

I’m thinking of paying the 14 year old daughter of a friend to ‘babysit’ DD via FaceTime, and go through a English homework and creative writing with her too.

Other advice: I think best to just sort of roll with it best we can, and not get stressed if school work/plans aren’t adhered to.
I had loads of my own work to get done today, which meant that I only had about an hour with DD to do some art work.

DP was going on about the fact that DD had about 4 hours TV time today, but I couldn’t give a toss. Some days will be better than others, some will be worse, who cares, as long as DC are healthy and feel loved.

I feel your pain OP, not doing well at all.
Dh is going out to work still, dd1 (12) is remote schooling but not used to spending all day on a computer, she misses talking to people but hasn’t left the house since last Friday and it’s taking its toll. I’ve planned out a rough timetable for Dd2 (6) but she is not wanting to do things independently and constantly asking for attention/help/food/drink.

Then dh comes home and tells me about shit that has happened at work which makes me even more stressed, I’m worried for his safety.
I got up early this morning before everyone else and went for a walk, I did feel better after that. Need to get the kids out but I don’t really feel that comfortable taking them out.

I’m falling behind and I’m getting really stressed. I do 4 days a week but think I might have to stretch things out over 5 now.

Yes not working here better with the twelve year old but the eight year old is too young for long periods of self study. He does some reading and some times take rock stars and well if he does some drawing it’s set right? Goes in the garden to kick a ball about its pe and iPad time is totally computer studies😂!

Seriously if it was possible to effectively gone educate a child while working another job there is no way teaching would be the professional qualification it is so I assume schools will know there is little education going on in a large number of household. Hopefully therefore they will have a plan to help them all catch up when they get back although the idea it may not be until September does worry me!

Another one struggling here. Lone parent to 2 primary aged DC.

I feel like I'm failing on everything. I'm struggling to concentrate on work and struggling to give enough time to the DC. I am not coping.

You have to understand something here. Teachers can’t possibly send you the type of work they do in school. We don’t (generally) teach through worksheets and haven’t done for decades. We teach through all sorts of other methods, including lots of talking, short activities, group work. Worksheets are just to practise what has been learned - or to keep children busy in some cases, while other children are taught.
Worksheets, or any busy work sent home, is not really expected to replicate school.
The children’s progress won’t suffer long term. Interested and engaged parents will benefit their children by talking, reading and lots and lots of opportunity for them to entertain themselves, preferably by playing.