Husband still working and it's nearly splitting us up I'm so angry at him. AIBU?

[helpplease83]

My husband works for an extremely non essential business. There is absolutely no fucking need for him to still be working. His company have shut the head office and they are all working from home but they are refusing to let him, and several others do the same. We are both hoping it's a matter of time before the government force this to change but at the moment they are getting away with it.

I'm furious as it feels like my husband isn't standing up for himself, he's not asking the question of what about him and his family. We have young dc. Everyone else is at home, and as much as I self isolate the second he walks in that door I'm exposed to all of it. He won't self isolate, he won't tell work he's self isolating and needs 14 days at home, he won't stand up for himself and his family.

We are constantly arguing as he says I'm not supporting him, but I don't see how I can. He is a non essential worker. He shouldn't be risking our lives! I get that it's not his choice but it feels like he's not fighting. If the shoe was on the other foot, and I was in his position as a NON ESSENTIAL worker I would call my work, tell them me, him or one of the kids had symptoms and I would self isolate for 14 days. They can't fire you right now. Health over money. I want my family to make it through this.

We just had another screaming match, I'm just so angry.

Also the social distancing measures are in place to try and minimise the spread outside household. Not to prevent you and your kids from getting it.

Phone the relevant authorities and snitch on his work, that’s what I would do.

Snitch on them for what? If they haven’t been closed down they aren’t doing anything wrong.

They are doing something wrong though if it’s not an essential company that needs to be open, they are making their workers put themselves, and their families at risk!

No they aren’t. Did you read the government guidance? It’s not that every “non critical” job should cease if it can’t be done from home.

*As set out in the section on staying at home, people can travel to and from work, but only where the work they do cannot be done from home.

With the exception of the organisations covered above in the section on closing non-essential shops and public spaces, the Government has not required any other businesses to close – indeed it is important for business to carry on.

Employers and employees should discuss their working arrangements, and employers should take every possible step to facilitate their employees working from home, including providing suitable IT and equipment to enable remote working.

Sometimes this will not be possible, as not everyone can work from home. Certain jobs require people to travel to their place of work – for instance if they operate machinery, work in construction or manufacturing, or are delivering front line services.

If you cannot work from home then you can still travel to work, provided you are well and neither you nor any of your household are self-isolating. This is consistent with advice from the Chief Medical Officer.*

From the government information

Ok I hadn’t read that but your having to trust that your colleagues are being safe and social distancing on their way to and from work, I would be far too anxious to be okay with my DH going to work, as the OP actually is.

Thank god I live alone and only need to rely on myself.

They can't fire you right now.

Yes, they can.

MigginsMrs is right. But it's getting annoying now that so many people have misinterpreted it, the govt do need to be clearer.

Are you sure the employer is making him go to the office?
Are you sure he's not just telling you that?
Are you sure he didn't just tell his employer he'll keep going in when they told him he didn't need to.

I just work with a couple of men who have zero interest in being in their homes all day with their families, they are misrepresenting the situation to their wives. They are welcome to work from home - they just don't want to.

Yeah @OldWoman that may well be correct, it sounds slightly unbelievable that employer would make him go in if it’s a non essential company

I'd be annoyed that he isn't even pushing the working from home.

My brothers employer have also been mixed with staff. Some members doing the exact same sole as my brother have been given laptops etc to work from home on but they initially told him he has to go in and told him he has to put his children in school. They know where his wife works and tried to take advantage of his wife being a key worker (police) and asked for her shift patterns to work his hours out.

My brother said the schools are open for the actual keyworkers who don't have any other option, not for the employers of spouses to take advantage of. They've agreed to let him from home now.

On the flip side, Bil can work work home if he asked (he works with his sister who is already working from home) but he's an arsehole who doesn't pull his weight at home and does the minimal parenting. He's saying he's been told he has to go in which is a lie, he just doesn't want to be at home because he'll have to deal with his children who already have cabin fever.

Op, there must be a reason why a small number of people are still going to that workplace. If he is necessary to keep the co. going, and he isn’t sick, he needs to keep working or everyone will be out of a job.
If most people are working from home, he’ll be safe at work. Can he drive there?

I could understand you not wanting him to go near the tube though.

My husband is going to work too. Some people have to. It's completely allowed under current government rules if you can't work from home, even if it's a non-essential business.

His job doesn't need to be essential. I think people are taking the word 'essential' from when Boris used it to order "Essential shopping trips only" and applying it to working. This was not said by Boris or Matt Hancock.

You/anyone absolutely can work. However, only if you're unable to work from home.

That's the official policy

*Unless your place of work has been shut down of course

What will happen if your DH has 14 days off and then has to go back into work?

WhT if he refuses to go into work but then work wont pay him, or make him redundant? Not sure where you think the idea of they cant sack him is.coming from as plenty of people are being told they wont get paid, or are being made "redundant" at the moment.

Your DH may also feel incredibly stressed and not want to go into work, but if work are demanding it then theres not much he can really do about.