Parents - so torn WWYD?

[teawamutu]

They're both in their mid-60s, fit and healthy, no underlying conditions. Have stopped all social activities, although are going for walks, to shops to buy the needful etc.

I'm the only local sibling and they're desperately missing their other children and GC.

We'd planned last week just to get together today, have coffee and cake and maybe a walk.
No hugs, just being in the same room for a bit.

Would you do this? I don't want to overreact OR underreact.

It’s not just about whether we catch a mild dose of the virus or not (which seems relatively low risk to those of us who are lucky enough to be young and healthy).

It’s about keeping the NHS running - the NHS employs about 1,000,000 people and is already understaffed, lots of staff off with even mild infections compromises not just COVID-19 patients but cancer patients, trauma patients, people with appendicitis, babies in special care.

And while your own chances of ending up in ITU are small if you spread it around then ITU will fill up and overflow, so really sick people with this but also with other serious illnesses wont get the care they need to stay alive.

So wave to your parents over Zoom; play Quarantino Bingo via Skype; bake a cake and deliver a chunk to them and eat it at the same time, but please try to keep your distance.

I understand your concern. I care for my parents (emotionally and practically, but not personal care) and they are vulnerable. I see them every day without fail and they rely on their visit.

Today, I am not visiting and I will leave Mum's card and flowers on the door step.

You can stand on the outside of their door and let them see their grandkids-door still closed.

That's what we did yesterday and it cheered them up! And a lot of us doing it that way over here in ireland!

I love and miss my DDs terribly, but I have agreed with them to cancel our get together today. We keep in touch online.
The more separation everyone can maintain, the faster we can break the chain of infection and the sooner life can get back to near normal. Think of it as short term pain for long term gain.

I spoke to mum and cancelled. We're going to wave and chat for a few mins from the garden gate after I leave her card on the doorstep. And that's it.

Persona, I wasn't patronising you. I was trying to say that it's possible to offer advice to someone who's upset and trying to figure it out without scolding and sounding like an arsehole. Everyone else on this thread has managed it.

I'll add, I've had to drop off supplies. Meaning I pop them in the porch and they get them. We make sure no other neighbours are out and the kids just wave. Literally 1 minute of them waving.

If they have the space I'd take the children and let them pay in the garden, gp inside. You could play charades/pictionary through the window if children are older.

Feeling far lighter now, thank you everyone. Going to go get on with my properly socially isolated day.

And apologies, Persona. You hit a raw nerve but I shouldn't have reacted like that.

If noone has any symptoms then I thought it was ok to still see close family? Unless someone is vulnerable of course.

If noone has any symptoms then I thought it was ok to still see close family?

Absolutely not. Every single person you visit is another potential link in the chain of infection. If it's essential for care, that's a different story but, since people still have to buy supplies, you're creating a link between two populations (the people you encounter when shopping and the people they encounter when shopping) that could potentially hasten the spread.

Let the the kids play in their garden while you talk though the window. That's what we're doing

Scottish guidance seems to suggest you can see a friend or family member. Just not in groups?

“Social contact can take place between family and friends if they are all symptom free”

The Government guidance is:
www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-on-social-distancing-and-for-vulnerable-people/guidance-on-social-distancing-for-everyone-in-the-uk-and-protecting-older-people-and-vulnerable-adults

Avoid gatherings with friends and family. Keep in touch using remote technology such as phone, internet, and social media

In theory, there's less risk in meeting family and friends but there's still a risk. There's already a family in the US which has lost 4 members after attending a family gathering, albeit a large one. My view is that it's better to talk to people remotely today than risking being unable to talk to them at all, remotely or in person, tomorrow.

I don’t mean a large gathering, just meeting a single person

Ask yourself is this essential?

No I would stick to phone calls/emails/ letters./Skype.