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Original poster

I don’t want my children in school

31 replies

Idontwantthis · 20/03/2020 00:32

Can’t think straight. Am worried sick waiting for list of key workers to be published. I work for one of the groups which are on the key work list but not in a front line service so there’s hugely conflicting advice about whether I qualify or not.

My manager today suggested I will, and that it will be ok because my two children will qualify for a school place.

They’re in nursery. Nursery emailed yesterday to say they’re shutting.

I have no idea where the designated school in our area will be that has a nursery attached to it with places for key workers children, but I know I don’t want my children to go there.

I may be being precious and there’s certainly bigger problems in the world but my children are incredibly sensitive. They’re really, really young. It’s taken so long to settle them in their current nursery.

The idea of packing them off to a building they’ve never seen before, with staff I’ve never met, and children they don’t know, is making me feel literally sick. I feel like we’re being asked to sling our kids anywhere that will take them. I would never ever leave them in the charge of strangers, in somewhere I haven’t vetted - why is it ok now?

They’re not dogs going in kennels while we go on holiday. This is all wrong.

OP posts:
ludothedog · 20/03/2020 00:37

I understand. Dd is shy, she will struggle going somewhere new. However needs must. The key worker list has now been published. If you go on the cv topic there's a link there

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 20/03/2020 00:40

It’s horrible OP.

Original poster
Idontwantthis · 20/03/2020 00:43

That doesn’t shed any light whatsoever!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontwantthis · 20/03/2020 00:50

Thanks for the link. I appreciate it.

It looks like it’s up to individual organisations to say if you’re crucial to every day business or not...

This is the rub for me - my managers will say I am, but I’m really really not.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 20/03/2020 01:03

What job do you do? You don’t have to continue working especially if you don’t consider yourself essential. Afterall, you will have to apply for the nursery places, not your employer.

NewtonPulsifer · 20/03/2020 01:08

The list is clear as mud for many without directly named occupations. Do both parents have to be classed as key workers? That’s what I understood, that you’ll need a letter for your employer as proof they consider you covered by the list.
I realise there are all sorts of families, (we are one) with step parents, non resident parents etc, does their occupation count too? Confused

Original poster
Idontwantthis · 20/03/2020 01:24

I literally can’t sleep. I genuinely couldn’t put my kids through that.

My job is hard to describe, but think admin for the police, accountant for the fire service, etc etc

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 20/03/2020 02:00

Can you work from home?

Stompythedinosaur · 20/03/2020 02:03

I'm a key worker who doesn't want my young dc shipped off to whichever school (our small local school will be closed). My dp will be doing the lion's share of our childcare as he isn't in health care - do you have a partner who could do the same?

Leaannb · 20/03/2020 02:06

Now this is a true childcare emergency. Do you have anyone you can trade services with?

Spartak · 20/03/2020 02:19

You could ask your employer for unpaid leave if you really can't send the children to the child care provision. We are all going to have to do things we don't want to, and make difficult choices.

FortunesFave · 20/03/2020 02:43

Op IO completely understand and emphathise with your worry about sending your children somewhere new and strange.

But...I promise you that they will be absolutely fine.

They really, really will.

I moved from the UK to Oz with a very sensitive child when she was 11. She used to be selectively mute she was SO shy.

But she was more than fine. Children deal with change...they're wired to cope.

Don't get your anxiety mixed up with your children's...remain positive...talk about how exciting it will be if it happens.

Lou573 · 20/03/2020 02:51

Another one to say they may surprise you OP - we moved this year and my daughter had a new house & new nursery and a few other big changes all at once. She had been a nightmare to settle at her previous nursery and I was dreading it, but she just took it all in her stride.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/03/2020 03:00

Op what would your plan for childcare be?

Coyoacan · 20/03/2020 04:00

Another one to say they may surprise you OP - we moved this year and my daughter had a new house & new nursery and a few other big changes all at once. She had been a nightmare to settle at her previous nursery and I was dreading it, but she just took it all in her stride

I'mnot trying to influence your decision in anyway, OP, but actually my dgd never settled in her first nursery where she was a year and a half but loved the next one from day one.

heartsonacake · 20/03/2020 07:05

YABU. If you’re children are overly sensitive now is the time for them to start to toughen up.

This situation can be the making of them; they can face their fears at a young age so they don’t grow up with them.

You mollycoddling them and stopping them from doing things out of their comfort zone will just mean they will stay overly sensitive forever, and that’s not a good thing.

Frozenfan2019 · 20/03/2020 08:09

Sorry but your job doesn't sound like it's essential for battling Corona virus. This is not ok, if everyone keeps on all their staff just because they vaguely qualify we wont have many children at home! Could you contact your MP and get clarification?

drspouse · 20/03/2020 08:13

Can you compromise and work from home doing essential tasks only round nap times/CBeebies?

MitziK · 20/03/2020 09:33

Don't worry about you not 'vetting' the staff - they're all DBS checked, just as your current nursery staff are.

And your examples of non essential staff are both essential. If your job is similar, you are still needed.

Original poster
Idontwantthis · 20/03/2020 10:48

They’ve said this morning we’re classed as essential. I’m not saying what my job is but I’m really not.

I have no intention of putting them somewhere I haven’t chosen myself. I spent months ruling out nurseries before I chose their current one.

They’re the most precious thing in the world to me, not inconvenient to be slung anywhere that will warehouse them

OP posts:
Original poster
Idontwantthis · 20/03/2020 10:49

Inconveniences

OP posts:
Everybunny · 20/03/2020 10:54

I'm in a similar position but my employer is so far being very flexible and allowing flexible working from home whilst caring for the kids. The department for education has published guidance today which may help support your case:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-maintaining-educational-provision/guidance-for-schools-colleges-and-local-authorities-on-maintaining-educational-provision

Parents whose work is critical to the COVID-19 response include those who work in health and social care and in other key sectors outlined below. Many parents working in these sectors may be able to ensure their child is kept at home. And every child who can be safely cared for at home should be.

Please, therefore, follow these key principles:

1.If it is at all possible for children to be at home, then they should be.

TidyDancer · 20/03/2020 11:40

OP what is your plan for childcare if you're not willing to compromise on this? I'm not saying I don't understand where you're coming from but what is your alternative?

Original poster
Idontwantthis · 20/03/2020 11:52

I want to stay at home with them.

OP posts: