It’s literally impossible for me to self-isolate! What can I do?

[CandleFlames]

So I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I have a chronic disease which puts me in the vulnerable category, needing to self-isolate for 12 weeks. Only problem is my partner works in a supermarket and as you know they are absolutely manic right now. He’s about to start in a new store and I have asked him to speak to his store manager about time off but there’s only so much he’ll be able to get and I don’t know if they’ll even say yes. So he’s coming home to someone who’s high risk after being in large crowds all day every day. Supermarket staff are being worked to the ground right now and their bosses don’t care if they get sick because they need the staff. I’m just worried because this means I’m still at risk even if I’m staying indoors for 12 weeks. What can I do to lessen the risk?

For everyone’s sakes he needs to go back to his parents OP. He can buy or borrow a mattress. It’s a horrible situation for both of you but you need to protect yourself.

How old are his parents and do they have any underlying conditions. There’s no point in him going back if they’re vulnerable too.

Make sure he doesn’t shake his clothes, when he takes them off, OP, as that dislodges any virus onto other surfaces. If he can put the clothes into a plastic box, with a lid, that’s better. He can then transfer it gently into the washing machine. He needs to keep all jewellery off, such as rings/watches and sterilise his phone, before he leaves it anywhere. He can’t bring any newspapers into the house as paper practically sucks in any bacteria/viruses.

Leave a couple of tissues by the door so he has them to hand, as soon as he needs them. You basically have to treat him as if he is a carrier, even if he doesn’t show symptoms. If he can’t deal with that, then the relationship won’t last, as he needs to put you first.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. His mum is also high risk so can’t really go back, and we do have the spare room here where he is sleeping. He is also showering twice a day and I’m constantly reminding him to wash his hands. He is being pretty good about it but it’s this whole work thing that’s an issue. It worries me that he has said even if staff are sick the company still needs them to work. Even worse when the staff are being treated like shit by customers!

I would suggest a black bag for his outside clothes near front door he needs to wash hands & have a hot shower & use separate towels if there is outside space he could hang his clothes out in the sunshine (from tomorrow - we hope) he needs to wash his own clothes as hot as possible (forget cold washes!) & as pp says own towel which he needs to keep separately from you. you cook for him to keep him out of the kitchen as much as possible he needs to be scrupulous about cleaning after himself - otherwise he goes back to his parents for the time being

Is there a colleague or friend he could stay with OP. Or could you go and stay at his parents if they are self isolating? I know proably not much fun but safer. I am not sure of the nature of your chronic illness but I would think it would be less risky to be back together once you have given birth, which will be much sooner than twelve weeks.

Btw I am sorry to hear of how staff are being treated. Both by customers and in terms of being forced to come in if sick...that is completely counterproductive and the govt need to do something there.

Get him to wash hands and remove all clothes by from door. Wash clothes every day. Then scrub tap clean.

I'm also self-isolating (old and diabetic). My DH is still having to go out from time to time and this is what he is doing. Plus showering as soon as he gets in, along with handwashing frequently, including before and after driving.

You can only do your best and hope everyone else does so too.

On Twitter there are posts by doctors sleeping on camp beds in their own garages in order to keep their partners and children from being exposed.

I’m sure you can come up with a workable scenario if you think positive and don’t just give up and declare something impossible. Perhaps you could move furniture and bedding from your place over to his parents empty room?

Stay in your bedroom? Ask your husband to clean the bathroom after her uses it last at night? It's not impossible to self-isolate.

I am very sad to hear about how customers are treating staff. That is really shit. He's doing an essential job, so should be getting endless thanks IMHO.

And yes, he should be being thanked from the rooftops. The service delivery workers are not getting the recognition they deserve.

If his mum is high risk, could you go and live there. Not idea, but it might be an option.

In addition to all the advice, make sure you and him open all the windows regularly and clean and disinfect all surfaces, particularly after him.

It might help if both of you cover your mouths and nose as much as possible, although i don't think it makes a huge difference if you aren't in close contact.

He needs to be scrupously clean about his mouth and nose around the house.

You should have a plan should he develop any symptoms, in particular a cough, even if it involves you moving to his parents, IMO.

OH is highly vunerable and it was bloody impossible to find any definitive advice literally anywhere for what I was supposed to do. Loads if someone in the household had suspected covid19. I was originally told I had to stay at work, but since school closure was announced I'm going to be working from home.

Pretty unfair to say the bosses don't care if staff get sick because they need the staff. If people want to be able to eat, we need grocery stores to be open. To be open, they need to be staffed. Same with hospitals, pharmacies, homeless shelters, buses, etc. Blaming the boss is stupid and childish.

This is all going to be a much bigger problem in 5 weeks’ time when you give birth, unless you plan not to have him help with the baby in any way?

Similar but different situation here, shared by many. Sole carer for elderlies, i WFH anyway so ok. DH is now WFH because of the virus, but DD works for the NHS, front line HCP. What do i do?

I am monitoring how i feel all the time, still caring for the oldies but trying to keep a very safe distance at the same time. Meanwhile DD comes home four days in 8 with tales of how she was suited and booted in hazmat suit X-raying positive Covid patients.

He can sleep on his mams couch. Seriously op, insist he does.

If his parents are also self isolating then it sounds like you would be safe there?

@Namechange8471 you can't insist somebody leave their house and go and stay somewhere they haven't been invited.

PlainBritishFlour Would you suggest they carry on and possibly risk the mother and unborn child’s health?

They need to think of something

@RaveOnThisCrazyFeeling it’s not stupid and childish. People who have been poorly are still being made to work. His bosses are awful.

He can sleep on his mams couch. Seriously op, insist he does.
@Namechange8471 well no because his mum is high risk.

Making people who might have covid 19 come to work in supermarkets is not the answer to anything, it is an unmitigated disaster. They could infect so many both in person and through items, never mind infecting each other and therby contaminating so much of the food supply. There must be another way. Maybe supermarkets should be approaching the govt now about redeploying the many who worked in sectors now closing down.

well no because his mum is high risk
Well, tbf, she wasn't at the start of the thread. She'd simply emptied out his room making it not possible for him to go back.