To still let my DC stay at grandparents tonight?

[StephanieSpeilberg]

DC is due to stay at grandparents tonight. Both only in their early 50s and have no symptoms or issues.

Mum will pick her up from my house, she will go into the car, out at the other end and stay in the house, until mum puts her back in the car tomorrow and she gets out here. No contact with anyone but grandparents.

I’m 50/50 on whether to go ahead with it though. WWYD?

(She hasn’t been sleeping well at all recently and DH and I need to sleep, we’re really beginning to struggle and the night off is tempting, but then I feel very selfish.)

Hard hat is on

Honestly she’s normally a great sleeper, it’s just a phase, we’re not at sleep training stage just yet. Hoping it passes quite quickly. Yes we have earplugs etc to try and get one through the night, but it’s hard when one is up, it’s like your body is on constant alert.

Erm, @bemoreeverything, congratulations I suppose. My family just runs a bit differently to yours my parents want to help us. It’s our first child and they have the time and capacity to provide help.

And no, they have no health issues. In fact they are fitter than DH and I, they are health nuts, a gene that seems to have skipped me!

Why not? If they were teachers they would be mixing with hundreds of kids his week. 50 is not elderly.

What age is your DD?

No. It is not ok.

But I’m done explaining this to people.

@StephanieSpeilberg I hope she gives you a break soon. Have you moved her into the double bed to sleep with one of you at a time? That might help temporarily (although she might like it too much and then it could cause issues later, but sometimes needs must). The other person should sleep in a different room to allow them to get a proper sleep. Also I’d suggest that for a week or two one of you just goes to bed for the night when she does.

My in-laws are over 70, one has a serious underlying health condition and they’re still looking after three under 3s (grandchildren) three days per week.

Both sets of parents have at least one who is working from home but they don’t want to be disturbed or interrupt ‘bonding time’.

We’ve spoken to all and asked them to be more sensible but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. I dread to think what will happen if one of them falls I’ll as a result.

I honestly see no problem with this. None of you are ill or in the 'at risk' category. And if you do pass it between yourselves, it's your own choice and doesn't affect anyone else if you're not mixing with others.

Depends on the risk factors.

Your parents are healthy. Are they staying at home and quarantining properly?

Are you doing the same?

If so, the risks are low.

If your daughter has been at nursery or someone in your household has been having normal social contact, it’s really not worth the risk. I think there will be a huge spike in cases in the next few weeks and the hospitals will begin to feel the strain. Medical staff will rapidly become exhausted and decision making will suffer. It’s a particularly bad time to take any additional risks, in my opinion.

They’re only early 50s they aren’t in an at risk group unless they have some underlying health issues. Kids are still in schools with teachers of that age and older.
The at risk group is not “grandparents” it’s “over 70”.

Quite. My DH is early 50's and we have young children.

My ex H will be taking out children to his parents as usual. One is 70. No health issues. A couple of times a week. I don't agree with it but can hardly stop him.

Im mid fifties and been working with peoples children for weeks! Many teachers are my age and older. Parents have been sending kids to school with coughs and getting really grumpy when we sent home two with temperatures. I am ill at the moment because I've caught something ( not CV I am fairly sure) likely off a child as I had to sit next to the immune suppressed child who was coughing and had a heavy cold but whose mother kept sending her into school even though we kept sending her home. I'm still 'teaching virtually' by the way in case anyone thinks I should lose my job ( different thread but grrrrrrr).

Unless your parents have underlying health problems then they could have her once she's been at home for a week and obviously hasn't developed anything and neither has anyone else. That way there is a buffer. Atm you don't know if she, or they, are harbouring anything. Bit of sense will get us all through this.

I can see why some people are struggling with these kinds of questions, as it's not entirely clear cut. (Especially when kids are still mixing in school - assuming your DC is a baby and not currently at nursery/school age).

The truth is it all depends on the exact scenario that you're in, and on a forum post like this with minimal detail it's very hard to know whether it would be ok or not - therefore the answer we have to give (as other posters have) is no, don't risk it.

I suppose IF you were in a situation where:

• You have now self-isolated for 14 days as has your DC, as has your entire household
• And your parents have also now self-isolated for 14 days already along with their entire household
• And your DC has not been in contact with any other children (e.g. has not gone to nursery, school, play dates, baby groups, seen friends etc) for at least 14 days
• And you have not left the house in 14 days including for food shopping, walks etc
• And you are all well and symptom free and sanitising all the time etc
• And you travelled to their house in your own car directly

Then, if ALL of the above applied to you currently, honestly the risk would be incredibly minimal that any of you were still infected and if so would pass it on to each other.

But anything other than the situation above, and there's a risk IMO too far.

Oh the drama.
It's in the yellow 'do with caution' category. So people going mental saying absolutely not... where are you getting your information?
It's social distancing. No one has been told to hunker down in their house and see absolutely no one (isolation excluded)
We are treating our social distancing as including my parents and my sister. So there's 6 of us plus 3 kids. We will still see each other at our houses. And limit contact with the rest of the world.

The grandparents are 50! My kids’ dad is 50! I don’t actually think it’s a problem to let her stay with them. My children are still going to their dad’s.

I’m 53 and until the other day was still going into work (small office) etc.

Had to self isolate from Tuesday because DP has a temperature and flu like symptoms. But if we were all fit and well and no issues... would we not have been allowed to continue looking after our teen kids?

This virus is more likely to kill the over 70s but there is a much height risk of having severe form of it the older you are. The aim of self isolation isn’t to stop people dying it’s to stop people getting the virus and needing hospital care. It’s unlikely hospital care will save the lives of a significant number of over 70s but treatment is much more successful for under 70s.
Basically the NHS don’t want the hospitals clogged up with no hope cases so the curable/treatable can’t get treatment and die as a result.
If everyone follows the rules to the letter we will lose less loved ones.
We are only given death figures and info. Most of the population are not aware of the ages and health status of the many critical cases. We cannot assume they are over 70.
Social isolation may be uncomfortable but it will save lives.

She’s 9 months. She’s not in nursery and we’ve been indoors for 7 days

Honestly, I don’t think anyone knows what to do and I was asking for advice.

Thanks for the sleeping advice too, we know we will get through it but we’re stuck in the middle at the moment so it’s hard to see the light.

Seriously?

My mum is 54. She will still be seeing her grandchildren.

She is still at work.
My DH is still at work.

What is the issue here?

My 70+ inlaws are a different story.

Infact my mum is watching my two on Friday night. As she does every single week.

we’ve been indoors for 7 days

Bit of a drip feed there OP

If you have been inside for 7 days because you are self isolating then she should not be going.

I'm just guessing of course, because you haven't actually said why.

Puppy it’s about not spreading the virus from one household to another. If your teenagers live with you they are household members. But grandchildren, unless they live with you, are potential source of infection. So instead of just one household becoming infected you get two. This is how this virus is being spread. In a street of 20 houses if 10 have infection without knowing and everyone was still moving freely between each other’s houses instead of only 10 households being infected you have 20. This doubling effect is happening all over the country. Do you want to be the one who arrives at hospital only to find out they have just allocated the last ventilator.
I am not trying to scare you but just explain why lockdown is imminent because people don’t think the rules apply to them.

Sorry, we’re not self isolating at all. We’re just trying to limit going outside. We’re healthy. And I misspoke. She went to BIL’s at the weekend for an hour.

Gosh bemoreeverything I’ve really offended you this morning eh?

Actually choosing to limit our outside contact with the world and self-isolating are two different things. It’s like a fucking minefield on here sometimes.

No. Why are we the only country treating this as a joke?

I actually would say that at this point, what you're suggesting is fine. We aren't in total lock down yet. We've been asked to limit social contact and self isolate at the slightest sign of symptoms. so your DD going to your parents, who aren't particularly old, and neither your parents nor your DD nor you and your DH going out further than that seems perfectly reasonable in this case.

Y would be U if your parents were going to take her to soft play or something.

The thing is we're needing to reduce social contact, but more than ever we also need to be community minded. And getting that balance right is tricky. But I would think an extended family in this case remaining close and helping each other makes complete sense. We are in self isolation currently but once we're all out and symptom free, we'll be doing childcare for our nieces and nephews who live locally to allow their parents to work.

Gosh bemoreeverything I’ve really offended you this morning eh?

No not at all. I added that I didn't know you were self isolating, just guessing. I'm allowed to post, I don't know why you think I would be offended by you in any way.