My son is crushed. Just crushed.....

[yomellamoHelly]

Year 11. Spanish oral exam on 1st April. Drama performance within next month. Art coursework still to finish off. Written exams as per schedule.
It's all hit him as he looked at his Class Charts this morning and all the work that's due / been set. It's all revision / prepping for upcoming assessments. The enormity of the change has hit him.
I know something will be sorted out eventually, but so so sad for him. He's upstairs sobbing.

I can fully empathise about kids being sad about having their last year at school come to such an abrupt halt. It must be very disorientating for them.

What I don’t get is the almost obsessive levels of emotional investment that parents (mothers) on Mumsnet have in GCSEs. They just don’t matter that much, and the frenzy about them on here is unparalleled in the real world. They are a stepping stone to the next level, and once A-levels or the equivalent is done, literally no one on earth gives a shiny shit about GCSEs beyond enquiring if you’ve passed maths and English. Not taking 12 exams is not a national disaster that will ruin your childrens’ lives and futures.

@Xenia apart from a handful of independent schools, they don't even do GCSEs and A levels in Scotland, it's a completely different system

It's fine to be sad, disappointed, worried but being broken, devastated, crushed is massively over reacting.

Scottish schools may well be closed until the start of the autumn term, so I really don’t think they’ll be running even their own exams, let alone have the capacity for acting as exam centre for rest of UK, with all the consequent difficulties and risks of a few weeks of visit of thousands of candidates unconnected with Scotland

Devastated here too. We both cried last night and I'm still emotional thinking about all the things they are missing this year 😢

She was upset about her mock results, but was working her socks off up to this point and set to do so much better. I really hope they can work out a fair outcome for them all.

As I’ve just said on another thread teens aren’t always the best at expressing their emotions
Maybe they’re really scared about people dying and/or their parents losing jobs/ homes but focusing on exam/prom disappointment is easier,for them?

@shoppinggreen I think the teenagers reactions are understandable. It is some of the reactions of some parents that lack perspective.

These are the young people who will be tomorrows HCPs teachers, engineers etc etc their exams and graduations matter to the future of our country.
Candidates who have a bereavement etc during this crisis can have marks amended just as they do in more normal times but hopefully by September, this pandemic will be under control.

So we should attempt to run the exams even if its later in the year..

Does seem incredible that the Olympics/Football etc etc can all be moved to later in the year or next year BUT we can't come up with a workable solution for our children! i guess they can't vote so who cares?

My teen suffers from severe anxiety . I think his reaction is a wider reflection of his general anxiety at the situation

My DD (year 11) was devastated last night. I think her predicted grades after her mocks were good but she feels she could have done better and now won't have the chance to prove herself. She is also really upset that her last day at her current school will be tomorrow and she won't see many people again. Obviously that was going to happen anyway but she would have had more time to prepare for it. She's also upset that there will be no prom, summer residential or many of the other things that she had looked forward to doing this summer. I'm sure that the school closing has made many children really realise for the first time how serious this is. According to DD at the moment many of them just couldn't care less about whether they will be infected as they assume they will only have mild illness and presumably they think their parents will be affected either.

@LaureBerthaud
Fully agree with you.
Only on MN is there this obsession with exams, I’ve yet to come across it in RL and Im on my 3rd uni student DC.
Also on MN teenagers seem very young and wrapped up in cotton wool.
This situation is the time to teach resilience and selflessness to your kids, that’s there a big big world outside of their bubble; people are living in fear for their health, home, jobs and loved ones.
Be disappointed but it’s not devastating.

This brought it home to me
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8129959/Military-trucks-transport-Italian-coronavirus-victims-coffins-cremated.html?ito=social-facebook&fbclid=IwAR0GNEshWy7_TGO_1MTLODk2r_8oIiHA8TatIjmHeeEkO5OcdBoq_7mri_c
That number is the equivalent of my small town having 12 deaths; that would be horrifying.

I'm not sure what universities will do now that they only have predicted grades to go on. They make more offers than they can take expecting that some students wouldn't get them. Perhaps they will have to implement their own exams to reduce numbers.

Parents job should be to teach their kids that there are more important things in Life then exams, like Life itself.
If everyone is on the same boat then it is not a personal tragedy.
And maybe their are young people losing their loved ones int his pandemic which surely is worse than missing GCSEs
Again the whole country is in the same boat.
Parents teach your kids about things they don't learn at at school

This pandemic is giving nature a healing break from our pollution. All those who want to save the planet this is where you get a foothold.
FOr the planet to be saved then more adjustments coming...

jasjas - 'their exams and graduations matter to the future of our country' - I don't agree. I'd be more concerns at discussions that nursing students being given their PIN and practising early without the final mentorship and supervision but am struggling to see in what way y11 or y13 exams matter to the future of the country without sight of the proposed alternate assessment/grading/award systems. In the long run, a different grade at y13 leading to a different university might seem like the end of the world but in my experience from friends for whom this happened, their lives progressed, often in better ways. There generally isn't a counter-factual to this complex life.

And maybe their are young people losing their loved ones int his pandemic which surely is worse than missing GCSEs

Of course it is but the fact that people are in a worse position doesn't mean that they can't be devastated with yesterday's news. It's not a race to the bottom. They only found out yesterday. Give them a chance to come to terms with it.

Totally agree this is allowed to be a big deal for them.

This is what was done in Ireland. I think it's really fair to the children.

www.independent.ie/world-news/coronavirus/leaving-cert-and-junior-cycle-orals-and-practical-exams-have-been-cancelled-39057608.html

Now we have parents in a nearby village who are going outside and clapping their children in tomorrow as they return home from school.

I'll think I'll reserve that for soldiers returning from war not missing their prom 🙄

Almost as self absorbed as people who buy blue plaques for their kids achievements and stick them up on their houses. I'll reserve that for truly amazing achievements, scientists, politicians, composers, women's rights champions etc.

So we should attempt to run the exams even if its later in the year..

But that would be unfair to - but on a different subset of children: those who don't have home lives that allow them to prepare successfully.

Yes, it is a bit of a shame, but really the only children who are going to be affected are those who were not planning to continue their education. Colleges and Universities will do their best to make access as fair as possible to everyone next year. It is not the end of the world.

And far from "having a cry with your child" the message you should be trying to communicate is that it will be OK. Their lives are not ruined by being unable to sit exams now. It is just a blip.

There is a lot of catastrophising and it is THAT which will really damage young people's mental health. If you reassure them it will all be OK and they will not be allowed to suffer negative consequences they are far more likely to face the future in a positive fashion than if you are wailing and lamenting about "what will happen to you now???"

My dd is devastated too. She had so much planned for this summer and now it looks like it will all be cancelled, and she has been working her butt off the past two years. Am gutted for her.

Obviously I do realise that things could be worse, but this is HUGE for her and her peers and they are all allowed to mourn the loss of their exams, their summer and their plans.

@gingersausage

Yes I have been telling my son that in 5 years time no will care about his GCSEs and that they are just a stepping stone
but he still needs a particular outcome to get to that next stage

You are also taking no account on individual children's stories. My son is adopted, he came to me at age 8 working below national curriculum levels and attending special school. Neither his Social worker or foster familiy ever thought he would get this far.
The fact that he is even taking GCSEs in a mainstream school is testament to 8 years bloody hard work by him and his teachers across three schools who believed in him. We were not aiming for the glittering heights of 9s and A* s but he still needs what he needs to get on his college course.
So yes its a big deal to him and his wonderful teachers

My DS is only in y7 but I'll be honest I shed a wee tear this morning when we got a message from the Head that included the things they have planned for y11 "leavers" tomorrow

I can empathise with the upset though am surprised at the universality of posts about children devoted to exams. Miserables that I am, I expect there would be a proportion who wouldn't regret the absence of the exam season provided the outcome was equitable. Proms and saying goodbye would be different but exams being mourned?

And teaching resilience means acknowledging disappointment and upset, but also teaching perspective. Not joining in and blubbing yourself.

@alloutoffucks thank you for actually talking sense.