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My son is crushed. Just crushed.....

366 replies

yomellamoHelly · 19/03/2020 08:50

Year 11. Spanish oral exam on 1st April. Drama performance within next month. Art coursework still to finish off. Written exams as per schedule.
It's all hit him as he looked at his Class Charts this morning and all the work that's due / been set. It's all revision / prepping for upcoming assessments. The enormity of the change has hit him.
I know something will be sorted out eventually, but so so sad for him. He's upstairs sobbing.

OP posts:
Xenia · 19/03/2020 19:00

yes, I saw that earlier and now I think they will let those who do not like the school's assessed result sit exams in say August it may not be too bad BUT that is useless if you lose your university place as a result.

SunsetYorks · 19/03/2020 19:04

I think they will put something in place, universities won’t want to lose funding due to no students. May just be a delayed start or such.

1nterstar · 19/03/2020 19:17

How will they keep revision going all summer just incase the grade isn’t good enough? Who can do that?

yabadabadontdoit · 19/03/2020 19:51

*Being devastated, crushed, in tears about this is a clear symptom of a culture that places far too much emphasis on exams and creates far too much pressure on kids. We're always being told that kids face too much stress these days, rising mental health issues, etc. and that exam pressure is a major factor in this.

whilst you're in the education system everything is geared up towards them so they're going to be incredibly anxious

Perfect example here. Why is this the case? It's absurd. And we certainly shouldn't be saying "oh it's understandable that kids are heartbroken and crying". We should be asking why the hell we're making our kids so anxious over these exams that they end up in tears when they get cancelled.*

All this ^

yabadabadontdoit · 19/03/2020 19:52

Bollocks bold fail

goldfinchfan · 19/03/2020 20:05

agree with above post yaba

Mulhollandmagoo · 19/03/2020 20:34

My heart breaks for these kids 💔 Possibly more so than most others! Weddings, christenings, parties and holidays can all be postponed and enjoyed at a later date, these school leavers won't have chance to do this again! Their school journey shouldn't have ended like this missing exams and proms and last goodbyes with their friends!

Go give him the biggest cuddle x

noblegiraffe · 19/03/2020 21:05

A message for Y11 from a teacher: bennewmark.wordpress.com/2020/03/19/dear-y11/

Butterymuffin · 19/03/2020 21:06

Almost as self absorbed as people who buy blue plaques for their kids achievements and stick them up on their houses.

What the hell? Has this ever actually happened? Because it has all the hallmarks of those stories about councils 'banning' Christmas or mothers who insist on still breastfeeding ten year olds. In other words, I call bullshit. Stop belittling kids' distress by comparing it to bullshit stories.

JudyGemstone · 19/03/2020 22:40

I'm gutted for my year 11, he's worked so hard to pull things back since disappointing mocks - and now he won't get the chance to see what he could have achieved.

He was so excited for the summer, his first festival with friends and prom.

He's being all stoic about it but it's shit and I won't apologise for feeling upset for him.

WatcherintheRye · 19/03/2020 22:52

Don't know what to make of this extract from an email sent from ds school tonight at 19.10 -

Can I make a couple of points about exams for those parents of boys in Years 11 and 13. My understanding is that exams have not been ‘cancelled’, as has been reported in the media. What is far more likely is that the exams will have to be rescheduled and possibly changed in format to adapt them to the new circumstances. I await definitive guidance from the exams regulator

That's just wrong, isn't it? Or have I completely misunderstood? I'm sure I heard the Education Secretary and Boris declare yesterday that GCSEs and A Levels weren't happening??

Scruffyoak · 19/03/2020 22:59

My sons school have said 100% no exams.

Wrongdissection · 19/03/2020 23:02

Definitely no exams.

Scruffyoak · 19/03/2020 23:03

That message link was beautiful

Lincolnfield · 20/03/2020 06:26

@Mulhollandmagoo - the exams will either happen at some future time or other grading methods put in place. At this moment in time when the government are struggling to put in place sufficient trained personnel and equipment to deal with the NHS and supporting social care, then I’m sorry to be harsh but tearful - healthy! - youngsters are so far down the list of priorities for them.

The reality is that this morning (I’ve just done my night shift as a nurse) I was passed on the dual carriageway by a number of army tanks. THAT is the immediate future. Government is having to prepare for full lockdown and potentially civil unrest as well.

So I think all of you sobbing all night because little Johnny can’t sit an exam need to open your eyes and see what is heading your way.

Okay, so these spoiled and over indulged kids might well be disappointed but as I said before, they will get over it! They’re not ‘crushed’ ‘destroyed’ ‘devastated’.

For goodness sake! In 1942 the sixteen and seventeen year olds would be looking forward to heading for France in troop convoys at eighteen not to pissing it up at Freshers week.

eaglejulesk · 20/03/2020 07:13

And teaching resilience means acknowledging disappointment and upset, but also teaching perspective. Not joining in and blubbing yourself.

This.

Also, people are dying, losing their jobs, facing the possibility of financial ruin, worrying about the vulnerable - meanwhile children and their parents are "devastated" and "crushed" because they can't sit an exam, go to the prom etc. Unbelievable.

Well said @Lincolnfield - however, I can't help but think you have wasted your time, so many on MN still won't get it.

Lincolnfield · 20/03/2020 07:20

@eaglejulesk

^^this

Scruffyoak · 20/03/2020 07:29

I think it's unreasonable to expect them to 'just get over it'

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 20/03/2020 07:52

@Lincolnfield

Fully agree in everything you're saying.

100 years ago little Johnny would have been off to war and they did it with courage. So yeah they absolutely should "just get over it" there are bigger things at play here than a few exams when the government has openly started they'll get grades just not based on what would have been this summers exams

BackInTime · 20/03/2020 08:04

I think part of this was the announcement of cancellations without any information about what would happen. I realise that this is a fast moving situation and the government did not have any answers and that this will be clarified today. DD just wanted answers and I didn't have any nor did her teachers. Her school is shut but a teacher is asking a large group of them to come in today to complete an assessment. I have said absolutely no, cases are escalating in our area and it would involve public transport and a large number of kids together in a hall all day. Health comes before exams.

sashh · 20/03/2020 08:06

Surely this is the one advantage of the examination system now where coursework etc all counts. If this were back in the good old O level days where it was your exam only then we really would be in a pickle.

You obviously missed the changes over the last couple of years, it is only terminal exams now for GCSEs and A Levels.

Can't anyone remember being 16? This is the biggest upset to hit them.

RufustheLanglovingreindeer · 20/03/2020 08:11

meanwhile children and their parents are "devastated" and "crushed" because they can't sit an exam, go to the prom etc. Unbelievable

Their parents who are also worried about losing their jobs, going bankrupt, and their vulnerable

You can worry And be upset about more than one thing at a time

Well most people can

BeardedMum · 20/03/2020 08:18

Of course you can be upset and worried about not being able to sit the exams you have been working towards for years and at the same time worry for sick people and people losing their jobs. I really dislike the people posting on my Facebook slating the worried youngsters who are worrying about their future as grieving for their lost last few months at school and all their plans. Their feelings are valid even if they are not being sent to the trenches!

Lordfrontpaw · 20/03/2020 08:26

We are both worried about being laid off.

Our savings have dropped by around 20% so if we do lose our jobs then that’s not brilliant if we are.

MIL is in the at risk group but is still ‘nipping out’ every ten minuets regardless.

So no, we aren’t wrong about a missed prom.

And yes DS is worried that if marks are calculated by mocks there is defiantly one he just tanked in the December exam - even though he has turbo charged since then and the teacher now says he is on track for a good pass.

OhMsBeliever · 20/03/2020 08:30

Oh do fuck off with we shouldn't be upset, our kids need to be more resilient.

My kids have lost all of their grandparents over the last 2 years, watching them all waste away from cancer. They are bloody resilient. Does that mean they or I can't be upset about other things? No. Shall I tell everyone else they should be grateful their kids have grandparents etc? No I bloody won't. Because that would be callous and inconsiderate of me.

So fed up with people who obviously have the emotions of a peanut and think you can only be sad about one thing at a time.

I'm gutted for my kids, I'm terrified of what is going on at large, worried about family members, friends, etc.

I posted on this post because other people got it. And I doubt they're all sitting around moping about this one thing, but just wanted to get it off their chest.