Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

So confused about what we can and cannot do

28 replies

HouseElfy · 17/03/2020 05:46

Just that really. Dh is now WFH, I WFH anyway and I've just made the decision to pull ds out of nursery. We have no garden and it is going to be hard but needs must.

What I'm not sure about is visiting family, namely my mum (in her early 50s, no underlying health issues, 30 mins drive away). Her work has also closed for the foreseeable future, have two siblings who live with her who are also WFH.

Can we go? Not go? The rules don't seem very clear.

What happens with partners you dont live with? My sister has a boyfriend but they don't live together, can they still see each other?!

OP posts:
Original poster
HouseElfy · 17/03/2020 05:47

Just to say sorry if these are stupid questions but the guidance isn't clear.

OP posts:
Robin233 · 17/03/2020 05:49

Advice changed regularly but I'm early 50's / ok to visit.
It's people over 70 and though with under laying health issues who are more vulnerable.

turdtimelucky · 17/03/2020 05:50

Ideally they would prefer if you don't, but since none of you appear to be either in an at risk group or have any symptoms, you are not being specifically advised to self isolate.

TolstoyAteMyHamster · 17/03/2020 05:51

I don’t think these are stupid questions. It’s confusing, and scary and unprecedented.
Yes, at the moment you can do all those things if you want and if you’re all healthy and have no symptoms. If you or anyone in the family have a cough or fever then you all need to stay away from anyone for 14 days but as things stand you can visit people and go out if you’re well.
It’s really hard. I’m not well, DP is elsewhere and I’m not going to see him for 14 days. By which point, who knows if we’ll be allowed to go anywhere.

Original poster
HouseElfy · 17/03/2020 06:00

This is the thing isn't it, we may not be able to do these things shortly. I'm really close to my mum and would struggle to not see her for 3 months (as would ds, we see her 2-3 times a week at the moment) but dont want to take unnecessary risks.

We have already said we won't be visiting DH's parents, they are only early 60s but FIL has cancer.

OP posts:
Hollyhead · 17/03/2020 06:02

It’s not confusing - you should stop non essential social contact - do you have an essential reason to see them? Yes or no?

thefemalelemur · 17/03/2020 06:03

You are fine to visit your mum, in fact it will keep you sane at the moment. They are advising social distancing so no play dates/group meets ups such as baby groups/parties etc.

Original poster
HouseElfy · 17/03/2020 06:04

We certainly will not be doing play dates.

I mean what counts as an essential reason?!

OP posts:
thefemalelemur · 17/03/2020 06:06

@Hollyhead none of the people OP is seeing are in the at risk group.

AnneJeanne · 17/03/2020 06:07

Yeah, it’s not that confusing. If you read the advice, without the context of being close to your mum, then you have your answer.

Original poster
HouseElfy · 17/03/2020 06:08

I am just thinking that if dh, ds and I are socially distancing, and so are dm and my 2 siblings, then surely we are ok to keep within that group? As long as none of us develop symptoms of course.

OP posts:
Original poster
HouseElfy · 17/03/2020 06:14

The advice online seems to be this sort of thing

So confused about what we can and cannot do
OP posts:
Applesandpears23 · 17/03/2020 06:18

The best way to slow the spread is to do as other countries have done and voluntarily stay at home. You may already have it and if you keep visiting your Mum you may pass it to her. We need everyone to work together to stop passing it around now.

turdtimelucky · 17/03/2020 06:22

So are they not going for herd immunity and wanting all the healthy people to get it anymore?

Original poster
HouseElfy · 17/03/2020 06:23

One of my friends in Rome says they are still visiting within small family groups in the same apartment blocks and towns etc

OP posts:
Absentwomen · 17/03/2020 06:23

I'm in my 50s. One can be dann sure I'll be seeing my daughter and her children. And yes, it is essential. Shes' s a lone parent, with her children in school and I'm on hand to pick up as she works full time.

OP, go and see your mother. Neither of you are at risk, sensible parameters around you all, etc.

waspfig · 17/03/2020 06:24

This is clearer...

So confused about what we can and cannot do
Original poster
HouseElfy · 17/03/2020 06:26

Thank you wasp, I hadn't seen that.

OP posts:
Nquartz · 17/03/2020 06:35

@waspfig

Where did you get that from please? I want to print it off. Thank you

Nquartz · 17/03/2020 06:36

I really want us to see my in-laws & my mum this weekend because it might be the last time for weeks/months. Assuming we're all still healthy & the guidance hasn't changed we will.

Plus it's Mother's Day

Tootletum · 17/03/2020 06:49

My husband won't let my mother visit. Pisses me off a bit tbh - he's not WFH though those are now the guidelines, getting on the tube every day and then telling me what my mother can do.

OvertiredandConfused · 17/03/2020 07:01

Lots of us will have it now and not know. Carrying on seeing people (even the very healthy) will spread it.

This won’t work if we assume the rules only apply to others and that we can each make our own decisions

Youngatheart00 · 17/03/2020 07:03

@Tootletum can you go and visit her?

Useryokyesno · 17/03/2020 07:09

Im having similar thoughts with my parents and sis. She's got a baby and toddler. So isolation will be hard on her. Was thinking if we all work from home and go out just for food like just weekly we could see each other. We have grandparents so probably not seeing them