More afraid of being locked in my house than the virus

[zafferana]

Anyone else feel like this? I woke up early this morning feeling really anxious about the idea that we could all be locked in our homes, like is happening elsewhere. I'd be okay with lots of places being shut, avoiding mass gatherings, etc, but the thought that I couldn't even go out for a walk or a run, couldn't get the kids out of the house for some fresh air and exercise, particularly if they're off school. I'd be happy to keep at least a metre between us and anyone else, we'd avoid playgrounds, but just knowing that we couldn't do that makes me feel intensely claustrophobic.

We spent a day at home yesterday just to test what it would be like if we were all stuck here and it was horrendous! The kids were bored stiff and I had cabin fever by lunchtime. DH wasn't bothered as he's normally at work and so he bumbled in the garden (in the rain), but I'd rather take my chances than be stuck at home. We are all healthy and have no reason to think that the virus will affect any of us badly.

I totally understand the anxiety of the elderly/vulnerable who wish to themselves down at home, but for healthy families I think it would be far worse than catching the virus, particularly those with young kids.

Something I've done for years to cope with being largely housebound: ensure I get different views at different times of day.

I sit in one place in the morning, another in the afternoon as the light moves round. I'm lucky enough that I can position furniture (including my bed) so I can sit and see out, which is very important to me.

Sounds daft, but it gives me variety I wouldn't otherwise get.

There are some very horrible and unsympathetic people on these threads. I started one yesterday because I’m very concerned about my mental health if I had to isolate with my son in the event of a lockdown. He is only 1 and gets bored extremely easily and then just cries as he loves being out. I have anxiety and depression and being stuck in is one of my triggers.

All the ‘it’s not all about you’ brigade need to apply that to themselves! People with mental health issues are going to struggle. Social media and the phone isn’t the same as seeing loved ones in person and people such as myself rely on that to function normally mentally! Show some bloody compassion!

That virus simulator is interesting @HotDogGuy - thank you. And I know it's not about me and my family - we are already practising social distancing - but my kids are at school and my DH commuting to work in London so we have accepted that we are at risk of getting it.

I think it's the fact that there are people dying horrible deaths all over the world and then people saying "but my toddler gets bored".
Sorry.
But there are toddlers in China and Italy who have been bored for quite a while.
You don't have a choice. If it comes to it, you won't be able to say "oh, Billy needs his fresh air or he strops"

I hear you @BlueMoon1103 and I understand. Thank goodness there some others on this thread that 'get it'. Social isolation may well keep people alive, but humans are social animals and most of us need that contact to feel happy, whole and like life is worth living

Unless there is someone forcing me back into my home, DS and I WILL being going out for at least one walk per day no matter what. I’m a single Mum and he relies on me so as well as being physically able to care for me my mental health is equally as important and having an hour out of the house is essential to that. If doing right by my kid makes me selfish then yes, that’s what I am!

It will quickly become the new normal. People cope with this all day, every day, year after year, and when you need to cope with it you will do so too.

Positive mindset, gratefulness for food, shelter, relative good health, an appreciation of the simple things in life, an intrepid approach to making fun and cosiness out of it. Fear of change is okay but really, it’s not a lot that’s being asked of us.

You have a garden so buy some new toys for it and go outside. We have a massive trampoline that entertains the kids for hours. It's a lovely day today so we're having a picnic.

If doing right by my kid makes me selfish then yes, that’s what I am!

But you are not doing right by your child. You teach it wrong. You teach it to be entitled and to moan, and you track all that by example.

No one wants it but the virus is here and we have to deal with it. Stomping with our feet and throwing tantrums is not how we will manage.

If the advise is to stay indoors you bloody well stay indoors.

I stay indoors and become a depressed, anxious OCD ridden mess. Is that best for my son? What would YOU do if you had my mental health issues?

We have a trampoline @Oysterbabe. It's filthy from the winter, but cleaning it will give us something to do!

I am very grateful for our cat. We adopted her at the start of Jan and she is wonderful. The timing couldn't be better for adopting an animal that will be happiest if we are at home!

This will do for my dad more than the virus I fear.

I’d seriously be questioning our family dynamic if I found one day at home with them “horrendous”.

Really?

Oops. Posted too soon.

My fear (as I will definitely have to be out and about work wise) is that I bring it to them.

@BlueMoon1103 selfish in the extreme. Hope you get arrested. Who would look after dc then?

I’m a recovering (mild) agoraphobic.

I’m ready.

BlueMoon, if you get put in lockdown that is exactly what will happen.
So enjoy it while you can.

Ignore the haters @BlueMoon1103. Mental health IS important and you getting out with your DS every day doesn't mean putting others at risk. We can all practice social distancing while leaving our homes on a daily basis. I've been doing it for a week already and it's fine. I just don't shake hands, hug, kiss or touch others (apart from people I live with) and I wash my hands frequently.

PS. If we're not allowed out - well then we're not allowed out - but otherwise just take reasonable precautions to keep others safe.

😂 at you bluemoon

You know you'll find you'll have no choice if we find ourselves on lockdown. Not sure the police or army will think much of your 'but my precious son is entitled to his daily walk' argument.
Unfortunately there will be many people in your situation who are capable of complying. You just need to start preparing and get the right mindset.

I am semi-isolating as I am in an at-risk group. But I go for two walks a day and am about to have lunch in the garden.

I have lots of plans: I have enrolled on an online poetry course, practice piano, take up the recorder again, clear out some rooms in house as I am planning a move, ring friends and offer support if they are stuck at home, make rugs for children's bedrooms etc. etc. Every situation can also offer opportunities.

But there cannot be some rules for some people and other rules for others, so sorry Blue Moon but you have to crack on with your child, the best you can, just like the rest of us.

But if there is a lockdown you simply won't be allowed to.
That's not haters. It's fact.

Where I live I can walk without seeing a soul, so no risk there.

What would YOU do if you had my mental health issues?

OK I'm going to answer this honestly. I would stop looking for loopholes because there won't be any BUT

• you are not on lockdown now, so go out but keep your distance from everyone
• prepare yourself mentally and practically that lockdown might happen (as it has for many of us and we have the same fears, the same anxieties)
• think of what you can do within the rules if that happens - do you have a garden for example?
• if you don't have a garden, what can you do within the rules that has worked for you in the past? e.g. meditation, aromatherapy - start thinking of things that you believe will help you.

It is NOT easy. First few nights in lock down I woke up breathless and just wanted to run away. But you can't so you have to take control as much as you can of the situation and stop looking for people to tell you that you can break the rules. Because you can't.