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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Honest advice on getting pregnant please....

27 replies

kleggie · 11/08/2005 11:55

I do apologise if this is going to be a bit of a long one. I am very new to mn and was made aware of it through reading 'mums on pregnancy'.

I am 24 years old and very happily married to my partner of six years. I am in no doubt that I want to have children and dh is quite keen to get started. I had always imagined that I would start having children around my mid-twenties and quite liked the idea of being a youngish mum. I have, however, found myself torn between becoming a parent and having a career. I really question whether I could do both and still offer my best to work life and my children. I have spent a lot of time, emotion and money on my education and should rightly be excited about starting my career. However, there is something inside of me- which is becoming more and more vocal- telling me that I want to have a family with man I love.

I have so many doubts about money, commitment and happiness. I hate to ask it, but what if I resented my decision to have children if it priced me out of the sector I want to work in? I receive so many mixed views from parents I work with. I have one colleague who spends more than 50% of her incoome on child care and says she wishes she hadn't had children at all and I have others who say they wish they'd made the decision to have children sooner. The worst kind of colleagues are the single, childless women who tell me I've already given up my life by marrying and why have a child and become even more boring. I know this kind of decision is a personal one- and I have discussed it with hubbie who is more than happy to be the full time care giver so I can return to work. So...honestly? What is it like being a full-time working mother? Is it worth it? Do you financially regret when you had children? Does it really affect your career prospects? Do you wish you had waited?

Sorry to bombard you with questions, I would just like some honest opinions from people who have been there.

OP posts:
mickeylou · 17/11/2008 13:35

hi there. i got married when i was 25 and had ds at 26 when i was still a trainee solicitor. i had six months off and returned full time until i qualified. i then dropped a day. i am very fortunate that my mum has ds for me monday to thursday whilst i go to work. ds and i then have friday together and then the weekend. i love fridays when its just ds and me. it almost makes up for the rest of the week. in an ideal world i would like to work three days a week and have two with ds but finances dictate otherwise at the moment! no matter how career driven you are i dont think you can ever underestimate the wrench of returning to work after maternity leave.

even if you choose to take a career break, nobody can take your qualifications away from you once you have them! you can always go back. i think its more important not having to look back in ten years and regret having a big fancy office, a large bank balance but no children.

if you are ready you shouldnt let anyone else put you off.

i have never known anyone who regrets having children;they are a blessing not a burden.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 25/11/2008 19:57

Although I don't have children (TTC) my DH has been keen to start a family since we got married (7 years ago when we were 22).

I was working low paid straight out of uni jobs and decided to wait (it was me who would be pg after all). I think he was keen because he wouldn't be at home with a baby and I felt quite isolated having just moved to London. Seven years on, the time is right for us.

I wanted to get a little established in the field I work in, be entitled to full maternity and have something on my CV for future part-time work!! However, only you will know what's right for you. Plenty of friends of ours have had babies at young and older ages - what I've picked up is that there's never a 'right' time, both have their positives/negatives and either way, you'll make it work.

Having previously not been too keen on kids (actively avoiding small babies). It's now become a major thing for me and I'm excited about getting pg. I guess that was the signal for me.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do.

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