Is there any chance I can get pregnant?

[toooldforababy]

I’m 43. I have regular 28 day cycles and have positive ovulation tests and EWCM every month . I’ve had ovulation confirmed by scan / bloods.

I had a fertility mot 16 months ago when started trying and they said everything looked good. That I had a good follicle count. My FSH has been checked a few times and was 5. Something on one occasion, 6.06 another and 6.09 I think the third time. My AMH is 28.9 pmol.

I had my dd when I was 38. We’ve been ttc though for 18 months now. Am I just too old or are my results ok ?

I can’t just yet as it’s something we desperately want, I don’t want to give up just yet, I know it’s probably unlikely at my age but the thought of giving up now makes me really tearful. I wish I’d tried sooner after having dd for another 😭

I’m not denying you can get policies that will cover IVF. I just very much doubt they’d cover a 43 year old who has just taken out the policy. For infertility to be “diagnosed” you’d need to have been trying for a certain amount of time. And insurance policies rarely cover existing conditions unless you pay a high amount. If you try to claim infertility a month after getting the policy it would be obvious you were already “infertile” if you admit you’ve been trying for 18 months. And if you wait a year or so and then claim she’ll be 44 and even less chance of success. Also the official NHS cut off for IVF is 42 (although really in most places it’s less) Because there’s not really any point in doing it later as it’s such a low chance of success. So again I can’t see a private company doing it after 42 either.
But obviously yes it’s always worth asking. You lose nothing by asking.

For a lot of private clinics I’ve seen that the cut off for ivf with your own eggs is 45/46 so does that mean up until then there is a chance ? Do they just try to get many as possible so they can hope to get a good one ?

you may very well be write but perhaps they’ll cover, maybe say for a ‘large premium’ and excess it still may well be cheaper than the cost of treatment. Plus side OP would like be able to use mild ivf due to her amh.

the clinics covered in my case are lister, care and tcn or tcp or some other acronym and they will do ivf up to 47, donor eggs too are covered.

again we don’t know if it would work out as we did, lose nothing by asking

Yes plenty of ivf clinics will treat 43/44/45 with own eggs. At the end of the day they’re a business. As long as you’re happy with the statistics (2-5% chance of success) and you’re paying them the money they’ll happily take it from you. Because obviously there IS a chance it could work so they won’t tell you it definitely won’t.
There are a few types of IVF but it generally works by stimulating your ovaries to get as many eggs out as possible. (Sometimes they just try to get one or two but hopefully better quality. But there’s no way to tell that they will be.) Then they fertilise and see how many embryos they get. You might get none. You might get a few bad quality. You might get lucky and get some good quality. Then they’ll put in between 1 and 3 (depending on clinic etc) and see if any take.

It doesn’t seem worth it with such low odds for ivf at my age. I’m honestly so so upset I just can’t see how it would be possible naturally or with ivf. Perhaps I should have gone straight for ivf when we decided to try for another baby I just didn’t even think about it. I feel so tearful i know it’s silly and I’m very grateful to have dd but it’s just so hard to accept my chances are so low now .

This lm afraid. IVF with your own eggs would pretty much would be a waste of time, unless you can afford unlimited goes. Clinics will recommend donor ages to aid success and not drag their stats down

At least with IVF you can have the eggs and embryos checked, and know that the whatever is implanted has the best chance.

I’m 40 and I’ve been trying for just a few months with a chemical the first month. Likely because of the age of my eggs. So I would contemplate IVF just to try what I could to avoid the heartbreak of losing a pregnancy once pregnant. Because more chemicals are so likely and it was heartbreaking.

Hi @toooldforababy i am in exactly the same situation as you. 42 and been trying for nearly a year. Nothing….

i wish I’d started trying earlier when my son was younger but emotionally I wasn’t ready. I feel like I was so naive as I got pregnant so easily with my son and just didn’t really think this would be my situation.

My husband doesn’t want to try IVF and the data / statistics are so bad. He doesn’t think we should go through the process. We are trying every month (tracking ovulation, supplements, acupuncture) but not even a BFP in this time. I have also started counselling to work through my feelings of regret and the positives of a one child family.

I have no advice or solutions for you, just sending solidarity x

It’s so hard isn’t it. I feel so frustrated with myself for not realising I should have started trying sooner . Now I feel so upset that there’s hardly any chance at all. I can’t justify spending such a huge amount on ivf if the chances will be so low . I feel so sad

@toooldforababy A message of hope. I’ve had my DD in April just short of my 46th birthday. She’s my first and conceived naturally. The pregnancy went very well. My partner and I had been trying for a few years (we met later in life) and when I turned 45 I thought there’s no chance. We’d given up and then l was pregnant at 45 and 2 months. I took wheat germ extract supplements and lost a bit of weight in the run up to getting pregnant, but who knows if that helped or just coincidence. Wishing you all the best.

That suggests you can afford it maybe… so have you consider donor eggs?

It would mean draining savings and I feel bad about that for something with such low chances. I’ll have to speak to dh and have a think about it as I’m not sure if there was a good chance I probably would but I don’t think there is

The poster you quoted suggested donor eggs. They have a much higher chance of working. But it is much more expensive. I believe it’s another 6-15 thousand on top of the normal IVF costs.

Im not sure how I would feel about donor eggs it’s something I might consider but I’m not sure it’s also a lot more expensive and would double the cost . I suppose it is at least an option to consider

Hi OP,

It could happen but honestly isn't likely and is more unlikely each month.

I had mine late (but started trying very soon after 1st despite it being suboptimal simply because of my age i didnt have time! ( I also gave myself a cut off date for trying for number 2 upfront... i actually got preg 2 months pre cutoff )

I started seeing a counsellor to help me get to grips with the fact no 2 might never exist. It was very helpful - it might be worth considering as even if you do get pregnant... the Grim reality is its going go to be higher risk / have worse outcomes. While my 2nd pregnancy resulted in an eventually healthy baby it was not cakewalk we were both hospitalised repeatedly it was VERY different to pregnancy no 1

Good luck

Thankyou I think counselling might be a good idea.

In hindsight I shouldn’t have delayed at all. We knew we wanted 2 but due to Covid I was anxious as had dd in 2020 and it was awful and I think I delayed because I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t going to get worse. I should have just ttc again when she was under a year but I’d also had a c section so didn’t want to try too soon. It’s just so hard when it’s always been the plan and you get it stuck in your mind and I feel stupid as I shouldn’t have delayed at all.

Yeah i had c sections too.
you cant turn back time and you can't know the unknown.
All you can do is make the best choices with the available info.

I'd do the maths / research on donor eggs, eat right and start counselling.