First fertility appointment 1yr wait - avoiding weight questions PCOS high bmi

[ethelinEd]

Please read and share you experiences!

I have my first fertility appointment coming up in a couple of weeks at a London hospital. I’ve been waiting years. I’ve had pcos since I was 22 ( officially diagnosed but most likely had it always) and have just turned 30. Irregular cycles since I started my period at 15. Months without a period followed with months with regular periods. Put on weight and became obese in 2020 , however was trying to conceive since early 2019 when I was at my slimmest though not “ seriously”

Fast forward to 2022, I asked to be referred to fertility clinic and was denied due to my high bmi. Worked to try and bring it down and lost some weight but not the amount needed for bmi to be below 30. End of 2023 I told my GP my bmi was officially just above 30 ( I lied) and without checking I was referred. Unfortunately there was a big mishap and the hospital I was referred to didn’t have a fertility clinic anymore - after a whole year of waiting I was back on ANOTHER waiting list. Finally May 2025 I’m having my first appontment, however I have put on weight since and my BMI really is above 35. Out of fear of being rejected, I changed my appontment to a telephone consultation instead which to my surpise was granted.

For those who’ve been through the process, is being weighed in person a non negotiable during this process? After the first appointment ( which I’ve changed to a telephone appointment) what happens next? I’ve already had ultrasound scan recently so guessing blood tests? What my naive self wants out of this is essentially ovulation induction meds , letrozole
or clomid because I just know my issue is lack of regular or any ovulation at all. I was slim for years and still my period would be awol. Never had a positive OPK and I’ve tested religiously for years. My question is am I being extremely unresponsible and deluded that my weight won’t be found out and am I doing more harm than good? Just don’t want to be waiting - I’ve been back to losing weight but really do have months to go before I’m considered “ healthy” in the eyes of the NHS.

Low numbers and poor motility so qualified for ICSi on NHS. One round here.

I struggled to conceive and was overweight. I reframed my thinking and realised that my weight was the only thing in ttc that I could control. Ovulation was erratic due to pcos. So I made it my mission to first lose 10% of my body weight. Then when I’d achieved this I managed to get to a really healthy weight. Clomid still didn’t work for me but I strongly believe that we had success the first time with icsi because I was fit and healthy. It made me feel really good about taking control of my body.

I think you need to really work hard to lose weight ready for your next appointment which will be face to face. The first appointment is really just a fact gathering exercise and the working out of next steps.