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Conception

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Original poster

Tips on speeding up getting to fertility clinic - advice please

30 replies

Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 15:51

I wonder if anyone can give me some advice. I'm 35, about to turn 36 in a couple of months. DH and I had been trying for a year and went for tests in November. Went to GP in December to be told the initial tests all showed everything was normal and that we would be referred to our nearest (large London) assisted conception unit for more tests/whatever happens next.
Have heard nothing and asked at GPs yesterday when I went for something totally different.
They rang back today to say that because of the backlog we would not even HEAR about an appointment for another 6-8 weeks - not even to get an appointment.
Is this totally run of the mill? Is there anything I can do? I don't think I've got the money but if I scraped together my savings would I miraculously get an appointment and if so how much would it cost?
Any advice gratefully received mumsnetters. Am at the end of tether. Was 34 when I started ttc, looks like I'll be 37 before they even get round to doing anything at this rate!

OP posts:
Eeek · 08/02/2007 15:52

Absolutely standard in my experience. Sorry - I know the waiting is hard. Didn't want to leave you with no reply

Original poster
Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 15:56

Thanks so much eeek
Yes I guess it is. It makes me want to tear up all my ethics and go private but I don't have a clue how much it would cost and then I think I've read stories that means you would not get the NHS cycle of IVF that theoretically you are eligible for if you have gone private at all.....

OP posts:
liath · 08/02/2007 16:03

I went private to speed up the inital consultation - it was 3 years ago & cost about £120 for the consultation then I had a hysterosalpingogram privately which I think was around £150. I then went on the IVF waiting list which was the same length of time as it would have been if I'd been put on it from the NHS infertility clinic. So all in all it cost me £300 or so and saved me a few months of waiting time - worth while I thought.

Fell pg the month before I was due to start IVF, which was nice!

Original poster
Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 16:07

Liath that's very interesting - did they not make any problems about the fact that you had paid for your own consultation and hysterosalpingogram when you went on to the IVF waiting list (and dare I ask how long the wait was?). And should I be asking for one? I've only had the blood tests so far and I don't know what I should be doing next. I just feel so helpless!

OP posts:
Eeek · 08/02/2007 16:10

why don't you give the clinic a call and ask the question. We can give you all the advice in the world but it is a field where things change quite quickly. The rules in one Health area differ from those in another apart from anything. I always found the reception staff at the clinic we used (Hammersmith) to be helpful, understanding and remarkably well informed. Do give them a call. It won't cost you anything after all.

Original poster
Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 16:11

No you are right, eeek. I am just scared of getting off on the wrong foot with them (I know, stupid, how old am I?) and somehow ending up with my appointment put off even more!

OP posts:
liath · 08/02/2007 16:13

It wasn't a problem at all as the consultant I saw also worked in the NHS clinic, which was handy. I think I was having tests etc privately in around january/february & was due to start IVF in the august. The wait for the infertility clinic was several months so if I'd done it all on the NHS it would have at least doubled the wait which, after trying over 2 years and being in my 30s I wasn't really too keen on.

This was all in Edinburgh so I'm not sure if it applies elsewhere.

HTH

Fingerscrossed2007 · 08/02/2007 16:20

Mirry, I suggest you call the clinic direct and ask a little more information. At our local centre it can take about 8 weeks to get an appointment letter but then the appointment folows VERY quickly after. Typically 2- 3 weks later. As eek says the staff at the centre are often much more client centred and are a mine of information.

The caution I would have about goign private at this stage is that it you could shell out quite a lot for just the basic tests. In many cases they will want to to blood and other tests again in order to get a diagnosis. Personlly I would rather save that money to pay for actual treatment if needed.
Do you know what clinic you have been referred to?

Original poster
Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 16:23

It's Kings College Hospital, London. Have you heard anything about them?

OP posts:
Fingerscrossed2007 · 08/02/2007 16:36

I'll ask someone who does for you . In the meantime give them a ring. I think it is worth saying that even though you are 35 time is on your side.

Original poster
Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 16:41

Thank you Fingerscrossed! That s so kind of you. I would really appreciate that.
My parents are staying with us today and tomorrow so I might ahve to wait til Monday to call unless I can find a very quiet corner of the flat. They are very excited about my sister who is going to have a baby in April - first grandchild - and I have not told them about the problems DH and I are having in comparison - it just doesn't seem right.
Time on my side....yes you're right. It just doesnt feel like that a lot of the time...

OP posts:
Eeek · 08/02/2007 16:42

Honestly - call them. They're very used to worried people calling trying to understand their systems. And they're bound to have been asked the same question before. My only concern would be whether they would accept privately done tests or whether they'd insist on redoing them.

Have you read the Ben Elton book 'Inconceivable' - very true description of IVF IMO. Also the Prof Winston book 'IVF Revolution' is good although a bit old. He recommends red wine

Eeek · 08/02/2007 16:44

some people choose to keep it secret, some to share the information. You have to decide where the balance lies for you as a couple between getting support and extra stress of the 'any-luck-yet?' variety. We chose to tell a couple of friends each and found having an outlet that wasn't each other vital.

Original poster
Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 16:47

No you are right Eeek. I will call them.
Yes I've read Inconceivable - but years ago before I was TTC. Cried and laughed over it then - don't know how I would deal with it now...As for Lord Winstons advice - well I've tried acupuncture/not having acupuncture, running and getting fit/not doing exercise, temping. ov sticks....can't see that red wine can have any less effect than all the rest of those! I shall turn to alcohol!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 16:50

And yes I have told a couple of friends - would not be fair to put all of burden on DH if i was constantly going on about it....I don't know. I think I might have told my mother but it was a bad time - and then my sister announced she was pregnant and it just seemed like I would be putting a downer on the whole thing if I said anything....

OP posts:
Janus · 08/02/2007 17:42

Mirry, I got referred to an assisted conception unit in west london and had an appointment to see the nurse to discuss my history within 2 months, I think this is about the standard time. However, my hospital does have a waiting list for anyone who is prepared to come in at very short notice, I'm not able to but you may be?? Some people literally cancel on the day (sick child, etc) and it would very much be worth finding out if your hospital had such a waiting list. From seeing the nurse we then had to wait until the next month in my cycle to have blood tests, a semen sample and for me to have internal scans. You then have to repeat the semen sample about 2 months later and then have an appointment about a week after that to discuss all the findings. So actually I was surprised at how quick it has all been going along. Good luck.

Original poster
Mirry71 · 08/02/2007 17:55

I will ask them that - I might well be able to go at v short notice (not as easy for DH though). It is all a bit strange. What I don't understand is that I have had the blood tests at 21 and 28 days and DH the semen analysis - as ordered by GP - and showed up normal. Does that mean we have to do them all over again when we turn up at the hosp? Sorry if this is a really obvious question. It just seems that I'll have been waiting 4 months to get an appointment letter, then another 2-3 weeks if they are quick to have the appointment...then starting from scratch with tests again. Am I being stupid?

OP posts:
MrsMar · 08/02/2007 19:03

Hi Mirry, I hate to say it, but your experience sounds very similar to mine. I'm in battersea so I was referred to St Helier assisted conception unit (after I'd fibbed to gp about how long we'd been trying, said it was a year when it was actually about 8 months) I'd had all my bloods done at gps, with everything coming back normal, I had a pcos scan, which came back negative, and dh had a semen test which came back ok. I was referred to st Helier, it took about 10 weeks to get an appointment, I had a couple of tests done straight away (swabs, internal, bit of a chat and some more bloods, exactly the same tests!) then had to wait another two months for an hsg (hysterosalpingogram sp?). That was in September and, this bit really makes me weep, I was then booked in for yet another pcos scan (I have absolutely no symptoms of pcos) in January, yet another sperm test for dh and my follow appointment was booked for July 2007, a full year after my first referral!!! A friend of mine who's a director at Liverpool women's hospital was quite shocked at how slow the system was at St Helier, so maybe it's just London services that are so stretched. it wouldn't surprise me, NHS spending per capita in London is the lowest in the country, despite having some of the greatest need. I really hope you are able to speed the process up, it does drive you mad when they double up tests so much, no wonder the NHS is so short of cash! There is some good news though, I cancelled my last pcos scan as I'm 8 weeks pg, so maybe you'll have the same lucky break! Fingers crossed! x

Janus · 08/02/2007 20:43

Mirry, yes, I had to have all the tests again that I had at the GP surgery. This really infuriated me (and dp!!) as I wondered why they had bothered at all if the hospital would not rely on the gp tests. I had to have bloods on day 3 and 21. I have an hsg and internal scan booked for monday (yuk!) and dp still hasn't done his semen sample yet and then we have to wait another 2 months to do the follow up one. (None of this helped by GP losing the first semen sample test results so dp had to do another for them, he's completely fed up with all this!). I'm just plodding along hoping that against the odds I fall pregnant before the final appointment to discuss all this!

londonlottie · 08/02/2007 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Fingerscrossed2007 · 09/02/2007 13:20

Positive reports on Kings so will be worth the wait. have you managed to sneak away from your guests to make a call. Also they do have a "last minute cancellations" list. Good Luck

Original poster
Mirry71 · 09/02/2007 14:01

No parents still here - thank for reports back everyone and will reply in full later to all - when have a chance to sneak away!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mirry71 · 10/02/2007 17:40

Hello all
First Janus - good luck for your scan on Monday - hope all goes well with that. MrsMar - omigosh I read about your experience - and that has really scared me. The thought of waiting so long....I think it will drive me mad. I feel I have played it all by the book - a year's trying, doing everything I should and then having to wait another year to even get as far as treatment......oh well. Londonlottie yes do keep in touch. And Fingercrossed thanks for the report back on Kings....I will ring them on monday and let you know what they say.
Parents gone so going to pour self large glass of wine (not great but I deserve it!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Mirry71 · 12/02/2007 14:59

Well I bit the bullet and rang the hospital and basically the doctor who should be assessing our papers is on annual leave this week and so hasnt done so yet. When she comes back it should take 3-4 weeks before we get a letter saying what tests we should do (sounds like different ones to the ones already I think) and then after that we get an appointment.
So they say you're looking at 16 weeks average from papers to appointment (I think that means from Dec...I hope) because of the backlog of work they have.
I felt awful but asked about going private to get a quicker consultation and they said they didnt do anything private. Everyone goes through same assessment and then you can be self-funding after that. I didnt ask what that means - I don't know if that means we may have to pay because of our income (or rather lack of).
Say no chance of last min cancellations as everyone turns up unless practically dying of bubonic plague as have waited so long.
So - I don't know. They were pretty brisk although as Fingerscrossed says they have a good reputation and am sure they are under the cosh. Teh thought of a long long wait and the months running on - I feel rather down.

OP posts:
MrsMar · 12/02/2007 16:12

Hi Mirry,

Sorry you didn't really get the answers you wanted. My advice would be to start the process going, if everything has initially shown up normal, then there's a good chance you will conceive in the next few months. Try not to get too hung up on dates etc, I kept setting myself deadlines, eg if I get pregnant now I can have the baby before I'm 36/before christmas/before the tax year ends!!! I ended up driving myself crazy! Personally I would prefer not to have my first child due a month AFTER my 37th birthday, but I'd rather that than no child. Start the ball rolling with the hospital, don't sweat as each month goes by, because that's a fast way to make yourself miserable. Good luck xx

ps I think the self funding thing you mentioned means that after diagnosis of any problems, you can finance the treatment yourself (ie IVF, IUI, ICSI etc) but not before.