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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

prediction of ovulation vs just regular sex

55 replies

wannaBe1974 · 31/03/2006 12:51

Since I’ve been on here I’ve noticed several threads with people who are all temp charting, or using persona, or isis scope, or some other method to predict their fertile times. Having looked at these threads and the threads where people don’t use any means of predicting their fertile times but just have sex at regular times to ensure that they are “caught” at their fertile time, it seems to me that by using these means, people don’t appear to get pg any quicker than the ones who use no means of prediction. So is it really useful to predict when you’re ovulating? Or is it just a means for persona, clearblue etc to make more money?

OP posts:
Piffle · 31/03/2006 12:55

I tried for 3 yrs wannabe - I have had erratic cycles since my ectopic in Nov 04
also my dh works away so I need to know dates etc in advance.
WE do not have the luxury of every day and regular sex. Even when we did it did not work!
I feel more in control tbh - mine is more physical than emotional IYSWIM I'm interested in how my body works and my cycles, not just mushy for a baby
Certainly the isis scope for me eli,minates the need to buy ovulation test kit and persona Temping is a pain though, i do not get on with it at all...

Hopecat · 31/03/2006 13:00

It may be useful to find out if you have a short luteinising period, but basically it's just a way of feeling that you're doing everything you can.

Me & DH have been trying since Jan 2005, and I started off measuring my BBT with a Boots kit. The thing is, though, tiny things affect it and make it invalid, like drinking the night before (even 1 unit), having a cold, or forgetting and getting out of bed before you take your temperature. Personally I found it very frustrating, and my graphs ended up looking like the Andes.

I then started using Boots ovulation testing sticks (like pregnancy tests). They're much trickier than they appear, and it's very easy to get a false reading.

I understand why people buy these things: it's for the same reason we come to sites like this one. You can't stop thinking about TTC, and so you do these things as a sort of 'constructive' time-filler.

We don't use any of those things any more. I've stopped drinking alcohol completely, I'm at a healthy weight, I eat very well and I do plenty of exercise. This has made it easier for me to listen to my body, and hopefully have sex around the right time.

I don't think they're a total rip-off, but they're certainly not magical panaceas either.

peachygirl · 31/03/2006 13:16

HI what an interesting thread I don't have much time so may add a bit more later. I think some of these methods are just money making I would not buy ovulation kits. I do temp and I do have a persona which I got from ebay for £21 (so don't feel so bad about it) I temp but did so originally as contraception and learnt to do this properly with a NFP nurse - the persona was bought as an aid to this.I think it's really important to understand your cycle.
I am amazed at so many women who just simply post things like
when am I going to ovulate?
what is this gunky stuff in my pants?
etc etc and then get stressed our when AF is late when actually its probably their body simply reverting to a regular cycle.
It does make me cross that it seems that some women just seem to use these threads to answer questions they could answer themselves with a bit of internet research or reading a book FGS. Having a child is a lfe changing event - do a bit of reseach. Many apologies if I come across as a vitriolic old crone!

peachygirl · 31/03/2006 16:50

After my mini rant - not really sure where that came from I forgot to say I don't use the persona and may give up the temping too. In the end we should all do what makes us happy and if these things make us feel like we have a 'grip'on it all then we should do them.
I think I would be worried if someone was temping, using persona, ov sticking and isis scoping - that would be too much !!!!

beansprout · 31/03/2006 17:16

My GP told me to forget charts, sticks etc and to just go home and have lots of sex. Ahem.

Hopecat · 31/03/2006 18:00

I wish I was one of those women who doesn’t really care if she gets pregnant. You know, those people who say “well, if we do, we do. If we don’t, more ski-ing for us”. That kind of thing.

I’m always jealous of those people, being somewhat obsessed myself.

On the other hand maybe they’re just more guarded about their feelings than me. Probably wise.

What I really don’t like is women who make out that they’re somehow more of a woman than you because they only tried for one month, or got pregnant by mistake. It’s not that common, but I do have a particularly competitive friend like that! She loves giving me strict advice about TTC, and telling me what I’m doing wrong. Not helpful when you’re desperately trying to relax about it all.

This is turning into a rant thread isn’t it peachygirl?

Twiglett · 31/03/2006 18:03

some people need to predict ovulation .. others don't

like everything in life there is no right or wrong way .. just the right way for you as an individual

personally I needed to know when I ovulated because that helped identify a problem with my luteal phase which was then fixed with clomid .. without ovulation prediction I wouldn't have DD

there's no right way for everyone

Socci · 31/03/2006 18:09

Dd1 was not planned and dd2 was conceived within 6 weeks of trying. But I feel jealous of those people who tried for 6 months plus, had time to think about it and had the bulid up to the excitement of a BFP Smile

wannaBe1974 · 31/03/2006 18:31

HC I think sometimes though that it’s not so much a case of not caring whether you get pregnant as not wanting to become obsessed with ttc. I think that TTC can become an all-consuming experience that can actually have a detrimental effect on a woman psychologically, and physically, as it has been proven that stress can delay ovulation, which in turn delays af, which in turn causes more stress and thus the vicious cycle continues, and can also effect the relationship between two partners, how many times on here do we see posts from people saying their DH doesn’t understand, or that their DH thinks they’re obsessed, or that DH thinks he’s just a sperm doner rather than a lover. I’d imagine that if a couple takes a long time to conceive and the woman becomes overly obsessed with it, it can lead to a lot of resentment from her partner and could thus have a detrimental effect on their relationship. I do, in fact, know couples who have separated because of the lack of children and the stress that this has put on the relationship. I’ve been ttc for 10 months this time, and nobody in my family knows. I’ve told them that maybe one day I’ll have another baby, I guess to them, I’m very blasay about it and have probably not even decided whether I want another baby yet, whereas in reality I have been struggling with the fact that I have been unable to fall pregnant while my sister is expecting her second baby in May. And with my first it took me 13 months and again, no one in the family had a clue until I announced that I was pg. So I think that appearances can be deceptive.

I think though, that the ttc obsession is somewhat fuled by all the info out there. Not only do we have ovulation sticks/personas/isisscopes/thermometers t help pinpoint that fertile time when we are most likely to fall pregnant, but we also have early pregnancy tests which can, according to the box, determine if you are pregnant as long as 4 days before your period is due. And how many of these tests do people do, just in case the 1st, 2nd, 10th one was wrong? After all, they do sell them in multi packs.

I agree that for some temping/charting/testing for ovulation works, but I do think that science has given us almost too much information and someone is making a vast profit out of it.

OP posts:
wannaBe1974 · 31/03/2006 18:34

socci it's not a build up to that bfp when you've been ttc for a while though. For me, once I hit the 6 months mark, it was all down hill, and every month I began to think more and more that actually, maybe it wasn't going to happen at all.

OP posts:
Socci · 31/03/2006 18:53

Yes, I appreciate how that would feel, I guess. Sorry - didn't mean to make it sound like I have no empathy.

Piffle · 31/03/2006 21:19

lol beansprout I'm doing that too this month
Sod the every 24/48 hr rules!

Piffle · 31/03/2006 21:21

wannabe
Ebay do early tests £9 for 50, so there is no longer the financial restraint that there once was. I am determined after one mad (expensive) month never to repeat that sequence again.

Cristina7 · 31/03/2006 21:39

"What I really don’t like is women who make out that they’re somehow more of a woman than you because they only tried for one month, or got pregnant by mistake."

Yep, I've seen it in soooo many places.

Piffle · 31/03/2006 21:43

Ironic as I conceived ds when on the pill and dd after deciding on NY Eve we wanted to try for a family (had moved in with dp) thinking it would take a littlw hile to get pregnant - he was awy til Feb 9th - Feb 22 we were staring a + test.
This time I now understand I did used to imagine women who temped and charted were "queer folk"
Now I'm there playing with ball and glove!

PinkTulips · 31/03/2006 21:54

i've never used ovulation tests or even really been aware of when i was ovulating.

dd took 2 years to conceive having sex 5-7 times a week (although i had several v.early term miscarraiges so might have taken less otherwise)

21 weeks preg and i got preg before my first AF after dd, only having sex every 2 months!

as my dp always says 'if it's gonna happen, it'll happen in it's own good time, no point worrying'

PinkTulips · 31/03/2006 22:04

sorry, posted that before reading the whole thread, didn't mean to come across as one of those 'i never had to try' women. was more trying to illustrate that i don't believe tests and temp can help that much, it's all about the little guys getting where they're supposed to be going isn't it?

i didn't do the any of the charting and testing as i felt it would make me more crazy and upset than i already was, not to mention i don't think we could have afforded it. i was often in tears and was on the verge of seeking medical advice when we conceived dd though, thought she must be some sort of miracle baby. yet i got preg in no time this time and i honestly feel it worked quicker this time as i wasn't thinking about it or even really expecting it.

Twiglett · 01/04/2006 08:29

no it definitely isn't about "the little guys getting where their going" for many women

personal experience of conception has absolutely no bearing on whether the woman next to you can conceive or not

I've been both sides .. conceived DS within 2 months .. having sex just the once within that time ..

conceived DD after 2 years .. following angst, heartache, fertility consultant, charting, opks and clomid .. she wouldn't be here if I had just thought 'let the little guys get where they are going'

fresco · 04/04/2006 07:22

piffle - i like the way you talk when you say that you are interested in how your body works and not just baby making.i suppose we all are in a way, interested just in the result of it.

fresco · 04/04/2006 10:51

wannabe - you do sound a bit old fashioned about the matter if i may say so. i am saying that as i tend to be so myself and i think that personally, outside society turns us into productive machines and you all are so right shops are there to make money out of us. how many opk did i buy ttc dd2 and how many arguments i had with my dh (who was fiance then) and how many nights did i end up in tears cos dh was too tired to have sex.i am finding now that, although i am desperate for bb3 i am finding myself to seek pure sex instead of making love and enjoy nice loving playful sex rather than just laying on the bed , leg apart and waiting for the moment.Sorry to be so rude!!how did ladies get pg 30 years ago? and they ended up with 2/3/4/5 bairns? dont think they had opk then or thermometers.
society must have changed about the whole thing, and we feel pressurised to conceive and if we dont get pg within a 1 or so, we think something is wrong with us or dp/dh.but why?mind you, very well of me saying that but if i dont get pg within 3/4 months i start thinking 'whats going on'?although theres that voice in myself saying dont panic youll get there.i know its easy to say not easy to do!!

Hopecat · 04/04/2006 12:05

Blame the feminist revolution.

Men have to include foreplay and make sure the woman actually wants to have sex with them now. Poor things.Wink

Mind you, it was already 1975 30 years ago. I'm thinking more of the 1950s.

Contraception wasn't such a big issue in the 70's I s'pose - no HIV (but still other nasties).

Who knows? Maybe if we all downsized and tried to live off the land we'd all be dropping them in the fields every year (babies that is), and getting straight on with the ploughing.

Piffle · 04/04/2006 12:14

It is bizarre for me as I am organic whole food, anto conventional medicines, home birth, extended breastfeeding - you get the drift.
To over analyse my cycles goes against my natural ethos, but my biological clock is ticking so damn hard it is like a hammer in my guts and heart.
It is not something I can leave to chance alone. Not at nearly 36 yrs of age anyway.

fresco · 04/04/2006 14:17

piffle - but my biological clock is ticking so damn hard it is like a hammer in my guts and heart.
It is not something I can leave to chance alone. Not at nearly 36 yrs of age anyway.

hen, i am in the same boat as you. Only, i am very greedy.

wannaBe1974 · 04/04/2006 14:33

I think a lot has changed since 30 years ago though. 30 years ago ovulation predictors didn’t exist, the home pregnancy test didn’t exist, if you thought you were pregnant you had to wait until your period was a month late and then you went to the gp and gave a sample and waited another 2 weeks for the result, by which time you were nearly 12 weeks and past the high risk period. Early miscarriage was probably as common then as it is now but most women didn’t know they were having a miscarriage, they would simply have a late heavy period, but is that really such a bad thing? Now we have tests that can tell us we’re pregnant within 14 days of ovulation, we can get a positive test and within a week could be bleeding and having a miscarriage, but now we have the knowledge that we’re having a miscarriage, and all the trauma that goes with it. Our parents were oblivious to these sort of things, they didn’t know, and therefore they didn’t go through the heartache and the trauma of losing a baby, because they didn’t know there was a baby to lose. Also, women didn’t generally leave it as late to start ttc, although women did have children later in life, most women got married and had babies at a younger age, because women who had children didn’t have careers.

I think also that things are different now because there is something that can be done. If a woman wasn’t ovulating 30 years ago, she would be told that she couldn’t have children, end of. Now with the advances in medical science, there are tests and procedures that can be carried out to ensure that women who previously would have been deemed to be infertile can now have the family they so desperately want.

I totally understand the need to predict fertile times if there is a problem with conception, i.e. a short luteal phase for instance, but how often do we read on here that “I must be pregnant because I know we did it at the right time”, and then AF appears anyway? I do think that for some it is necessary to know when they are ovulating, but conception is still such an unknown science, that even if you have sex at the very right time, conception is still not a certainty. In fact, more women now have problems with infertility than was the case 30 years ago, even with all the advances in prediction. Wonder why that is?

Initially my question wasn’t so much whether opk’s etc are useless, of course to some they are not, but more whether you were more likely to get pregnant if you predict your fertile time exactly than if you just had sex every ½ days around the middle of your cycle. And generally I meant for women who do not have any problems with fertility. Looking at the isisscope and persona forums, I genuinely don’t think that predicting is any more effective than just regular intercourse.

OP posts:
3catstoo · 04/04/2006 16:13

Do you thunk that to some extent the people who use theses kits are the ones who have been trying for a while anyway and so are less likely to fall straight away? That's the impression I get. I use Persona and a saliva monitor. Am not actively TTC but just figuring out what the hell my body is upto after 3 children. Yes with a view to trying for number 4 eventually (when DH gives in). On the Persona thread there has been only 1 BFP in the last 6 months to my knowledge.
I guess I started using OPKs to give me some idae of when I ov as I had no other indications.
Good interesting thread BTW.

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