How many presents

[Claz88]

How many presents does everyone get their young kids (under 7). My husband thinks 20 each + stocking is too much, but I think it's wonderful to see presents under the tree!

I probably get 5 gifts from my parents still! They're separated.

My dad gives me about £100 every year and I can think of one year in the last 5 where we've spent that on something frivolous and fun rather than it helping to cover a cost of something really needed. It's such a huge help every time and I always tell him what I spent it on and how much I appreciate it. Also check that it's still okay for him as he's a pensioner now and wouldn't want him to be struggling.

Mum seems to listen to whatever I randomly chat about in the months coming up to Christmas and then buys something helpful. For example a bread maker, or a new sewing machine when mine broke, or a kindle because I was struggling to sleep with the new baby but didn't want the light on so she got me a book I can use in the dark. One year everything was overwhelming and she got me £100 of m&S food vouchers and told me to have 4 of those '2 can dine for £25' take away deals so we didn't need to cook. She's also paid for a car MOT for example (gave me the cash refunding the expense I'd already covered a few weeks before). There's always a card that says something about me mentioning it in a chat and she wanted to help, but I never chat on purpose about this stuff I'm usually just prattling on. Always something I wouldn't have bought myself because of the expense but just such a handy thing! That and she'll buy me some really nice face and hand cream, and usually a box of chocolates and pair of socks. I look forward to all of them every year :)

Mine always have had 5 under the tree since they were tiny.
3 from DH and me, 1 from their sibling, 1 from the dog.
Then DH and I each have 4 - one from each child, one from each other, one from the dog.
And of course the dog has one too.
So the tree really has plenty of presents scattered underneath it.

The DC also have a stocking with around 8-10 little presents from Father Christmas, though those ones aren’t under the tree.

It has always seemed plenty, particularly when they were little, and just wanted to play with what they had opened.
Now they are older it is (much) more expensive, so having a long-standing traditional limit to numbers makes it easier to budget.

My DC are given presents from grandparents and aunts and uncles too - they usually open those in front of the giver, which often isn’t Christmas Day itself, so that spreads things out a bit.

I used to love getting new clothes for Christmas so I had something new to wear to Mass. It meant I had a new summer outfit as I have a winter birthday. Always happy to get another book. Something I needed was a bike. Another year it was goggles, flippers and snorkel set. And, honestly, my parents possibly couldn’t afford much more.

I do see insta photos of girls with their beds covered with their Christmas haul and do think it’s awfully crass.

I do about 20 each per child and about 5 in stockings. But none of mine have anything at all and I mean nothing all year round. They get a party or day out for their birthday with a token gift from us.

@Ilovelurchers, one of my DC's doesn't like receiving clothes (unless a football shirt!) and doesn't enjoy reading. So his wear and read gifts are not clothes or books - he's getting aftershave and a watch. Both are also things he's asked for so both are also 'want' gifts.

The more gifts the more likely it is to be filler / tat.

Get 1 big thing and 4 or 5 little bits (plus the stocking).

Big stocking and 3 presents under the tree - I spend a lot of money more than really is ok but there we go

That does make more sense 😊- and I am sure most people who follow the rhyme are flexible enough to adapt it if necessary for the tastes and preferences of their own children. I would hope so anyway!

Out of interest, is that rhyme only used on Mumsnet, or has anybody ever heard it in any other context? I haven't.... But I wondered if it was maybe a regional thing from a different part of the UK to my own (I am West Mids) ? Or something like that.....

One plus stocking!

On here people will say a book and a satsuma.

In reality, we try to stick to 10 plus Santa gift plus stocking.

@Beansandneedles you nailed it. I love getting useful gifts - things often I really need but wouldn’t necessarily splurge on eg really nice quality socks for long walks, gardening gloves that protect me from brambles, a really excellent expensive chopping knife - I’d be absolutely thrilled to get these things! The fact someone notices I have grumbled about something and has bothered to hunt down a solution to my problem … shows me they care.

Your husband is right. And your children will also get presents from grandparents, godparents, aunts and uncles, family friends - so that adds up to a huge amount. Too many presents is overwhelming.

I think it depends on the child.
Last Xmas DD (4 at the time) had four or five from us (plus stocking) that she opened on Xmas morning and then some from her granny, and we went to my in laws for lunch where she got more.
I held back a few of her presents too, she opened her main ones on Xmas day and then over the next few days she opened up a kinetic sand set and on NY eve she got a baby pram and car seat because it was clear that she was finding a big pile to get through overwhelming.
Her birthday is also in December so it's a lot of new stuff in the same month - this year I know I've bought too many so I'm going to have to do the same again 😂 I'm excusing it as loads are educational to help with phonics etc so they aren't really presents ....

My daughter age 10 has 12, her brothers who are 15 and 18 have 7 each. I have a budget and I stick to it. I don’t make it up so they have the same amount. The most expensive present my daughter asked for is £35, the most expensive present my 18 year old asked for is £110. They have 8 presents in their stockings. I refuse to buy plastic tat, I buy things I know they will like.

Also as a child, I remember that the peak time for big piles for me was early teens - a lot were small presents etc but then it was absolutely not overwhelming and just loads of fun.
DSS was a big pile child and he never got overwhelmed from memory, and it did all get played with too - now he is a big wedge of cash teen though 😂

I give my son four (want, need, wear, read rhyme), plus a stocking. He gets plenty of presents from other family members so he still gets quite a big pile. He is an only child and only grandchild on both sides so gets a bit spoiled at birthdays and Christmas.

But if you're giving them 20, and they're receiving from grandparents, aunties, uncles, friends, neighbours etc surely they would have far too much.

I go for around 3 or 4 (DS5) this year he's getting a car garage, a radio controlled car and a cuddly toy, then his stocking.

I love the big piles but it's more tricky as they get older and items get smaller and more expensive.
I do however LOVE looking for presents and finding things the DC would love.
I'm a stocking (small stocking) for rubbish from santa then presents from me with santa bringing a selection 4/5 from v cheap to a more expensive. Big presents always from me.

It also depends on family dynamics, my DC don't get from anyone other than me or dad. Other families have presents from a wide family base.

I think find a compromise with your dh- as this thread shows that people agree with both of you! I think 20 plus stocking is probably a bit too much and you could get the wow factor without quite that many. I do think having biggish pile of presents appear on Christmas morning definitely made it magical for my kids. However if I was doing it all again I would scale it back a little. It’s not that fun finding a home for lots of presents on Christmas Day, It is hard to keep their rooms tidy if they have too many toys and things are more likely to get broken. It was also stressful for me getting so many presents wrapped and then placed under the tree, as I like to do it without them seeing/hearing - even now they are all teens! that means a really late night on Christmas Eve and potentially a couple more for wrapping when I dont get a chance to do it during the day in the lead up to Christmas. Keep in mind whatever you are doing they will expect similar next Christmas and be going to bed later each year!

@Ilovelurchers, tbh I can't actually recall where I first heard it but it may have been MN or similar. I do know other people in real life that do it too though.

I know it is widely hated by mumsnetters but personally I've always treated it as a bit of a game for myself, trying to fit the rhyme to the gifts and interpreting it in different ways. Like I said earlier, almost everything I buy are things my DC have asked for or I know they would love (they like surprises too) so it really isn't a case of they only get one thing they want and the rest I choose purely to fit a rhyme. I just find it helps me get a nice variety of gifts for them and also keeps things reined in.

I showed DD (adult) the something to ...
List and she said books were all of them except something to wear and she picked a book related sweatshirt for that.

When ours were small they would have one big and a few smaller ones,but their grandparents would supply a huge pile. One year they go so many we could hardly get into the living room to unwrap them

It has always been a stocking from Father Christmas and one present from us. Also a present from sibling, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends of the family. Their gifts to us and ours to each other are also under the tree, it doesn't look bare.
This was also whatmy sister's and I got growing up, and parents still get us one gift each.

I think one to six presents plus a little stocking. I’ve found missing out on buying all the £10 ish presents works well. Get them the big thing or things they want and then some tiny things.

I would say 2-3 presents then 5 or 6 stocking fillers. My daughter gets overwhelmed with even that + grandparents presents.

How many gifts will they get from people other than you? 20 sounds like loads but also depends on when their birthday is and how often they get new stuff throughout the year. Does that 20 include practical stuff like dressing gowns?