How do you approach gift buying for adults?

[thebrowncurlycrown]

Every year I ask what the adults in my life want, and every year they'll say "nothing". I wish I was one of those thoughtful people who bought the loveliest gift they didn't know they wanted or needed and doesn't get thrown to the back of the cupboard forgotten, but alas here I am !

Kids are easy to buy for. They are not afraid to tell you what they want. Otherwise I like the "something they want / need / wear / read" approach.

Is there anything similar you use for adults? I just wonder if people have a simple way of thinking about gift buying for adults so I don't get this headache every year.

Lovely, thanks

I'll check this out!

Parents:
Alcohol, consumables, personalised items from the grandkids, gift vouchers for favourite clothes shop or restaurant (not all together!) My dad likes music but has specific tastes so always provides a list of cds he would like.

FIL is easy- case of nice wines or a bottle of whisky. Mil likes adding to her collection of Port Meirion. Also chocolates or nice biscuits.

I only buy for one sibling who doesn't have any children. Usually a book or book vouchers and some beers.

We don't buy for the adults who have children, something we all agreed on when eldest DCs were born.

I don't buy for any adults now (apart from my adult children, partners and dh)or extended family now. It's a lot easier and cheaper I can tell you!

But there was a time I bought a huge amount of presents, with tbh with not much money on a very tight budget. I'd ask people what they wanted,but like you got little to no response....so I set myself a budget per person to just buy "token gifts". You know the kind where "I haven't been sure what to buy, you didn't help me out, I didn't have a clue, so here's just something to open!"

So I bought candles and smellies, make up sets, cheap perfume for women....gift sets for men ....magazine subscriptions for older family members, I even made small hampers for people I really had no clue. Tbh I hate the gift 3 for 2 selection type places like boots, but for token gifts its OK if you're really out of ideas ...but I tried to buy "different things"...

On the other hand I do hate "christmas lists". I hated giving them out when my MIL used my to ask for them when we were younger....I hate being giving a list...it feels a bit spoilt if it's an adult, it feels very "this is what I want". Tbh I think if you're an adult, you should be pleased that anyone buys you a present. I had a colleague who used to say and laugh about receiving socks as a present. That work place was quite big on giving gifts as colleagues to each other and I used to hear her say that and think to myself "how spoilt are you!". The fact that even colleagues are buying you presents and already you're taking the piss out of socks.
Any adult buying another a Christmas present should accept it graciously, buy what you want OP. Buy what think is appropriate and in your budget.

I sometimes think instead of buying for other adults every one should do their own stocking.
Set an agreed limit (say £25) and everyone just buys something they want or they feel is a nice treat.
You all open your stockings together and see what people actually choose for themselves.
I never understand the "I don't want anything" people - don't you ever just spot something on the shelf in a shop (new flavour of Lindt chocolate, new paperback book, a tree decoration you think is cute) and think "ooh that's nice" ??

don't you ever just spot something on the shelf in a shop (new flavour of Lindt chocolate, new paperback book, a tree decoration you think is cute) and think "ooh that's nice"

Yes of course. So I buy it, rather than either hope that someone reads my mind and decides to buy it for me before it sells out or I have to put it on a list to ask them to buy it for me. After all, we're all adults with our own money that are able to make our own choices in what we spend it on, and if we're not, we're probably not in a position to be exchanging gifts with other adults are we? Because someone always effectively ends up spending money they can't afford on crap they don't need.

Martin Lewis has been pushing his 'No Unnecessary Presents Pact' idea since the first credit crunch over 15 years ago and it's gained surprisingly little traction because it seems there are too many people insistent on buying stuff that's often not wanted or needed.

@Needmorelego I've suggested that on here before. Everyone buys their own gift and they still get to show it off and talk about it at family gatherings but no-one gets things they don't want.

@Bjorkdidit in my family though we don't all spend the same on each other as we have different budgets and finances.
So I'm not always in a situation to buy a new paperback that I see right then and there - but if my sister asks "what would you like for Christmas" I can suggest that.
What I meant was do people really want "nothing"? Are there people out there that only ever buy basic life necessities and nothing else? Surely everyone has something that they especially like or enjoy?

This year I'm tempted to buy DS&DiL a hamper. I've been researching them for weeks. DD&DSiL are much easier to buy for because DD is really happy with books and she'll supply a list of ones she wants and her DH likes gaming stuff.

Some will want nothing. Many people genuinely want less stuff.

Others will be using 'nothing' as code for 'nothing springs to mind right now and I've got that sinking feeling that I get when I'm put on the spot to make a decision about something right now that my brain is too overwhelmed to deal with so I'll just say 'nothing' because it's easiest and tbh I really don't care if you buy me anything because if you don't it means I don't have to get you anything either, which just makes it easier all round, as is me buying the thing I want when I have time to sit down and research the one I want and find the best price and by the time I've done that it's easier to just buy it than it is to send you the link so you can buy it especially if you decide that model Y is better than model X which is the one I want so get me that so then I have to pretend to be grateful for something that isn't quite right and not the one I wanted'.

@Bjorkdidit sounds like you are over complicating gifts.
If there is something specific you know you want then it's easy but if you don't have anything in mind surely you'd just suggest your favourite things you use/buy all the time but say "fancier versions" or "limited edition"
For me that would be -
Bubble Bath
Crisps
Fizzy drinks
Chocolates
Random crime novel from a charity shop.
No major research required.

Have a look at Toilet Twinning if you like the charity idea.

Not a problem 😂

Drying up towels. Everyone always uses drying up towels.

What a lovely attitude to gift giving! 😂

We declared we would only be buying for our parents and children at Christmas a few years ago. Our siblings seemed horrified the first year, as they bought for us. But everyone is now doing what we do. So much less hassle all round.

I only buy for adults, I ask them what they want and buy it plus a little surprise except for my DM who has advanced Alzheimer’s who I choose something like a jumper for.

You need relations like me! I love getting presents and am genuinely delighted with anything. My FIL once said "Kate's so easy to buy for- a colouring book and some crayons and she's happy!"

It was a lovely cheap year when the majority of them said nothing, they at least have the sense to say surprise me now. 😂

Ditch the "stuff", and agree to pool the money on (say) going out for dinner, or to the theatre. It means everyone gets something they'll enjoy, something to look forward to, and the pleasure of the friend or relatives company.
If it's a husband, just buy socks, beer and chocolate and put the "saved" cash towards a fab holiday 😂

I couldn't think of anything I wanted last year so my sister gave me a handmade voucher for a weekends childcare and my parents put some money in my account for a meal out. It was incredibly thoughtful and exactly what this adult needed. Some guilt free money to spend and not having to worry about who to ask the kids.

This.

The only adults I buy for are husband and 'kids'. Plus parents when they were alive.

@LadyFlumpalot
I agree my sister and I treat each other to a concert or show and a meal - when we were younger and skint the pictures and a bag of chips on a bench. Memories are the best gifts

A few years ago my family and extended family agreed to just not exchange presents at all, except for children.
And I can honestly say that Christmas is so much less stressful now.

With all the adults in DH’s family we do a family secret Santa- we use the gift exchange website Elfster. You can set a budget, make a wish list and it does it all for you, so no one knows who anyone else has got! It adds a little bit of excitement to the day 😁

With my family there are lots of kids, so for years now we’ve done presents for the DC only, it works well as we’ve each got the same number!

We don't. Sacked it off years ago. I was giving my mum a £50 m and s voucher and she was giving me the same. Utterly pointless. Kids get presents but immediate family ie nieces and nephews.

For Christmas Day we do a family secret Santa, £70 limit, we raised it this year, for those that are there on the day.

We also play the dice / present game which is always a lot of fun.

None of us need any more stuff and we are lucky enough to be able to buy what we want through the year (within reason!).