Give me ideas. So many people to buy for!

[TheWorstWeek]

Growing up there was only ever my parents and my five siblings. Now we are grown and have our own families the amount of people I have to buy Christmas presents for is getting crazy. Like, we are talking 30+.

Obviously, my own children have a separate budget but I try to keep all nieces and nephews to about £10-15 each. There is 8 of them now so even that adds up quickly and there's still 20ish adults to buy for!

We've got a couple of big purchases to make in this last quarter of the year so I'm looking for some ideas of what to get the grownups in our life without costing us an arm and a leg. Any frugal and thoughtful ideas?

Could you do a cinema voucher for each branch of the family?

If you’d prefer individual gifts, fluffy socks from Primark and a bar of chocolate for the kids, that would be about £5 each.

If I didn’t want to particularly participate and I’d already floated the idea of secret Santa and it had been rejected, I’d just give up the idea of getting it ‘right’.
Whatever you buy is just more stuff, even the idea of a book - people may not read them.
So give in to buying people stuff they may not want, but make it edible or easily re-giftable.
Even going so far as getting same gift for everyone. You don’t have to hold the pressure of carrying this mental load.

I've got to be honest, I'd be asking the adults if they fancy giving it a miss and focus on the children. I bet they're all having the same thoughts as you!

I have a similarly sized family. We don’t do adult gifts anymore and focus on the kids but before we did that we did secret Santa for a bit and before that to keep costs down I’d bake a big batch of sugar cookies or candles and everyone got a homemade gift. It did take extra time but it could be done in large numbers and kept costs down. One year I also did “family” gifts and bought each family a tin of biscuits and a board game.

for the kids in the past I have made personalised Christmas mugs and filled with hot chocolate mix and candy canes and depending on ages one year everyone got a colouring/activity book or journal/mindfulness book etc and a nice set of pens/pencils.

Look on Vinted. Lots of unwanted unopened tat that is not clothing on there. I have a calligraphy set up for instance.

Yep. But if they insist on everyone buying for everyone, I’d do a big order of art prints, or buy foodie things for everyone e.g. gift packs of sauces, spices or chutneys.

I'm a woman and would much rather have the beer and socks. I'd feel really uncomfortable with gendered gifts like that.

It could be beer and socks for everyone or mugs for everyone or reusable bags depending on people on OP’s list. My point was about the approach. Im sure OP knows about her relatives if they are socks or bath bomb people.

We do a gift bag full of little bits for the adults in our lives. So go to home bargains and find multi packs of hot chocolate spoons, bath bombs, Christmas chutneys, would split those up so everyone gets one in their bag, add a lipsil, then any cheap chocolates like the shells, Terry's choc orange etc that people have posted on here, maybe a beer or a pack of coffee (I get them from a local roasters where you get 20% off when you join the mailing list so works out about £5 a bag), try and scour bargain bins for things like bamboo socks, local jams, honeys etc in the months leading up to the big day. Usually very well received and less than £10 per person. Have 12 adults to buy for in my family and they're very against Secret Santas 🙄

@Bjorkdidit Nice.

Presents are presents for the sake of it- it’s rare to get people things they “need” at Christmas- unless they’re your adult kids.

I realise buying is a chore for many, including the OP, so I was trying to help by making suggestions. She knows her own situation and budget and whether she can afford presents and she has said she can and asked for help… I am very much aware of other people and wider issues but that wasn’t point of this thread.

Actually I don’t “love shopping” at all, mostly the opposite tbh year round and for other things. However at Christmas I do enjoy trying to find nice things for people, I think my love language is in giving gifts and acts of service so maybe it’s my way of trying to show people I am thinking of them and care about them. My gifts are not generic or gendered- so the car one was an example of something I gave my brother in law who does enjoy washing his car and had mentioned needing a new larger bucket… and it went down well. But it would also be a nice idea for a teen just passed their test or a similar car- liking person or to save money for someone who normally paid for a wash etc.
The biscuit tin is also a nice size for keeping biscuits in and I am sure people can cope with using different tins for other things if they got a box of biscuits gifted to them as well. And even if someone did end up charity shop-ing my gift to them I wouldn’t mind as it supports charity- which I also do.

I don’t think your reply to my suggestions was really in the spirit of the Christmas section of Mumsnet, maybe you are new here or not normally here. As you’re quite the Bah Humbug type… 👋

Meant to add not everyone has everything in that list, so where there's a couple who live together then one would get the honey and the other the coffee. Or doing a bag per couple also works well, though I prefer a smaller bag per person. Just my preference.

Just don’t do it.

I only buy for the kids. Apart from dh.
Once there’s more than 1 niece or nephew in same family, start buying one gift per family. Ie a board game to share.

This sounds insane.
Can you do a family hamper each.

Board game/chocolate/wine/

This is bonkers. I wouldn't have the headspace for it. Sack off the adults.

I reduced my Christmas list years ago by saying I just wasn't buying presents any more unless it was for kids. I think the adults were greatly relieved.

I'd much rather buy something a bit more expensive on an adult's birthday where I can really pick something I know they'd like than buying a present costing a tenner for Christmas than they might not ever use and would never have bought themselves.

Who are the 20 adults?

It's a bit daft in my opinion sending a list of things you need and then buying for each other. Just buy your own?

Bottle of Prosecco per couple or single person and gifts for children.

If others don't want to participate in a Secret Santa why don't you just opt put entirely. Say you don't want anything and you're not buying anything. People would have to be incredibly rude and thick-skinned to take offence as adults and demand being bought token presents when they aren't buying them back because they aren't wanted.

DH's side sometimes do presents for adults, sometimes not. My side never do. I haven't bought an adult a Christmas present for about 20 years.

I'm so glad years ago we all agreed no presents for adults . We still buy my parents presents. But apart from that it's just the kids .
Really takes the pressure off .

@DappledThings I tried this and for the most part it ended up that I didn't buy people gifts but they still bought me them. 🙄

Agree it would be so much easier if everyone was on the same page!!

OP what about a charity donation in their name? Like on here

https://gifts.concern.org.uk/gifts/avocado-trees?gclid=Cj0KCQjwveK4BhD4ARIsAKy6pMKBoGU94X0f1UWyOEhVK7XnXqpLorPQplRONYJ8TLHXVWyYimZNJ0aAmafEALwwcB

Gosh this sounds like hard work buying for so many adults. If you don’t want to opt out or push SS this year then perhaps try and simplify it by buying groups of people with similar interests the same type of gifts ie

Gardeners - a selection of Spring bulbs (M&S has them in the food hall in nice packaging) and gardeners hand cream, gloves (thermal ones for winter)

Wine - get the wine enthusiasts (but maybe not the aficionados) a bottle of wine for £7-8 - look for specials, and a box of chocs etc

Books - I’d be wary of buying specific books. I am very particular about what I like and I simply can’t read any old book no matter how popular it is. Maybe a £10 book token, reading clip-on book light, fancy bookmark

Smellies - if you know someone definitely likes fancy soaps and hand creams etc and doesn’t have any particular requirements then have a look at TK Maxx.

Coffee/tea lovers - nice packs of these with fancy biscuits/biscotti

Cinema goers - a £10-15 Odeon etc voucher will go towards a ticket or at least some popcorn, drink & sweets etc

Anyone you are at a loss for - buy a £10 voucher.

The crap listed here is why we all stopped buying for adults in the family. Don't want endless biscuit tins, chutney and certainly nothing homemade thanks, or off vinted. Saves taking more stuff down the dump on 2nd January, saves money, prevents landfill and stress.

OP asked for suggestions, not a hoard of people telling them that Christmas is a pain in the ass and it's pointless to buy presents.

My go-to would be voucher (if a small amount go for coffee shop/Greggs) plus a nice bar of chocolate. For kids, if unsure I'd opt for consumables like art/craft supplies.

FWIW, I thought your suggestions were helpful and I'd love the biscuits tin 😁 Merry Christmas!

Thanks to those of you who have left suggestions. I think simplifying it by getting similar items would help to lessen the mental load. I like gifting presents to my nearest and dearest but the thinking that goes into it can be quite overwhelming. I don't ever receive or give things that aren't wanted or needed, I'm just trying to think of an easier way to do it. It's not easy when many family members aren't drinkers, are diabetic or don't have a huge range of hobbies to pick from so those sort of "go to" presents don't really work.

No, I won't be opting out or doing secret Santa. That wasn't the sort of solution I was hoping for. We have the budget for it, albeit a small one per person. I know it would make it easier but it would upset a lot of people and I don't want to do that. I am aware that there is a lot of us. But when you have several siblings who have partners and parents between you and DH, you'd be surprised how quickly that number goes up.

Again, thanks for some of the suggestions.

Maybe just go Amazon voucher for each couple, if I had to receive a present it would be that. Incan choose book or kindle download myself.