Please help me win the argument I have with DH *every year* about Father Christmas

[HuevosRancheros]

So, DH says that FC brings all presents. Even those from family and friends. I am a bit about this, as family and friends get no thanks. (well, they do, from us, of course, but that's not the same imo)

I think that FC brings the stocking and some presents, but that family and friends give presents too.

His argument, and I do get it, is that it doesn't make sense to a 5 year old that FC would bring some presents off the list, but that we and GPs get others. Also, FC leaves the non-stocking presents under the tree. How could family leave them there too?
(I really like coming down on Christmas morning to a tree with presents underneath, when there were none there the night before)
But I want DCs to show appreciation for the presents they get and say thank you, not so much to me and DH, but to others.

So, what does FC get in your house? And how do you explain to your DC why he brings some and you buy others?

I should say, DH is convinced that DD (5) will think about it too much and start to doubt FC's existence. Which would be sad, for us.

I think this is the final year we have the chance to 'change' the FC tradition... DD will question why FC has changed what he does next year!

[GobbolinoCat]

"All presents from Santa is just plain rude. I am amazed that family go along with it"

If adults - ie grown ups are wanting so much adulation for buying a child a gift, that the parent will thank them for anyway, I do not think they should bother buying for the DC,

I just cant buy for a child purely so I get a huge thanks and congratulations for it .

i buy so the child will enjoy the gift!

[spicynaknik]

But it's still magical to feel the bumpy weight of a stocking at the end of the bed...is it more "magical" to get a huge pile of presents from FC? The magical feeling I remember from childhood was about, well - the MAGIC, not about the massive (or in my case not so massive) pile of presents.

[OurMrsReynolds]

DDs write The List and send it up the chimney at Papa's to FC I help influence what goes on it as I have usually bought all presents by this stage FC informs us parents what the kids want, and we the parents send FC wrapping paper so it all matches. FC gets the children a couple of gifts from the list, the rest is from us and family members get thanks

[spicynaknik]

But Gobbolino it's not really about adulation, or amazing gifts. We live far from family and they send them in the post, wrapped up, with tags saying "love from Auntie Maud" or whatever. It's just socks and top trumps or whatever. But to have a massive rigmarole about making that gift from Father Christmas just goes against the grain and doesn't work for us. And Christmas is plenty magical in our house, thanks very much.

[LillianGish]

Santa brings the stocking and various other presents from us that the dc have asked for he also delivers presents from family and friends (those who can't be there to deliver them in person so some leeway here!). I think your dh is being rather literal - if your dcs can be persuaded to believe he comes from the North Pole on a sleigh pulled by reindeer and then delivers everything via the chimney then they can be persuaded to believe anything! Tell them what suits - I certainly think those who go to the trouble of buying and wrapping pressies deserve some credit for their efforts.

[Greensleeves]

it's not about "adulation", it's about the pleasure of sharing; for me knowing that the person who bought me the gift understood something about me and chose accordingly is half the enjoyment, and I want to share that with somebody if I buy them a present! I think it's a bit weird to scorn that as fishing for adulation

[TheBuskersDog]

And I have to tell you 5 was the age DS decided it must, logically, be bollocks. Really, it doesn't matter. He still has just as much fun with it.

Same here, it was the logistics of getting around all the houses in one night that did it. It always amazes me when people say their much older children still believe, I can't believe their children never question any of it.

[MoominMammasHandbag]

In our house your Christmas list is very much a wish list. FC decides what you get off it; if you have asked for too much you will not get it all. FC will also bill Mum and Dad for some presents which is why you might not get something if it's massively expensive.
FC is also happy to act as a kind of mega postman, which is why he brings presents from your Gran, though if you are really naughty he may withhold these presents and give them to poorer, more deserving children.(He has never actually done this in our house).
If someone horrid had got a really great present, then, chances are, their parents will have had to buy and deliver the present themselves - FC would have had nothing to do with it.

[MoominMammasHandbag]

He also occasionally brings surprises for the whole family. He is excellent at knowing what everyone wants or deserves, probably through use of his monitoring system, cunningly disguised as the burglar alarm sensors.

All this is definitely true which is why my amazingly credulous children have believed it to embarrassingly high ages.

[OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly]

Give your DH the following jobs to do and if he's still harping on about this I'll be surprised!

Set out biscuits and a small glass of sherry for Santa.

Put out a carrot for the reindeer (DF used to make one carved into a rose shape - he was a chef)

When DCs just off to sleep, get DH to creep round the outside of the house and ring Christmas bells (so that they think they have heard the reindeer in their sleep)

Get a big pair of boots and a plate of flour/caster sugar. Make "snowy" footprints from the fireplace to the tree and back.

Write individual handwritten letters in different colour inks to each DC from Santa. Handwriting must be disguised so DCs don't recognise it. In rhyme for extra points. (I did this one year, thank fuck DD didn't remember the next, I'd have been stuck with it forever!)

Put the various presents requiring assembly together (bikes, arsing Barbie Talking Town House with 99 stickers, speaking from experience here, hated that thing)

If you are anywhere snowy, DH to make reindeer hoofprints and sleigh tracks on the lawn.

When going to bed, DH to eat biscuits, drink sherry, make carrot look as though a reindeer has chewed it.

[spicynaknik]

My DS worked it out at 3.5 when he declared it just wasn't possible to visit all children in 24 hours and that reindeers can't fly, but obviously decided it was more fun to believe... - he still "believes" now and he is 6.5 :)

[Mittensonkittens]

Santa brings the stocking and one or two things off the list.

We / friends / family buy the other presents.

It's been tricky this year because we've done a shoebox for a charity so ds (4) wanted to know why santa didn't just bring the gifts for them. He asked if 'all the poor children had been naughty.' So I explained that we give santa the money for the presents and some families cannot afford to give this money because then they wouldn't have enough money for food. His face was like this most of the time and mine was
I regret doing the shoebox now! My intentions were good, I though ds could help choose a few items and it would be nice for him to think about other families who aren't as fortunate as ours. However it's opened a whole can of worms as to whether or not santa exists!

[Mattissy]

FC brings all the gifts and a few little bits and pieces from himself. I post all of the gifts to him a week earlier.

Got to LOL at it won't make any sense to her, like she'll give it that much thought. The whole man I'm red travelling a whole world in one night thing is much more confusing but dc's don't think that far!

[cuppachai]

I always say 'Aunty X asked Santa to bring you this!' so it doesn't look weird when there are pressies under the tree that say 'from Aunty' and we all thank that person by sending a thank you card....

[Mittensonkittens]

I have to say I don't remember ever believing in santa. I can remember thinking that it wasn't possible because he'd never get round the world that quickly.

I pretended to believe for my parents' sake until I was about 8 when my mom sat me down and said 'I've got something to tell you'. I was like 'yes, don't worry, I've known for years!'

My lack of belief never spoiled christmas. I stroy suspect that at 4 ds doesn't really believe either.

[Inertia]

I think it is far more important that children should understand that they have family and friends who love them enough to spend time and money buying and wrapping a present that they would like, and that the children get the chance to say thank you. It's not about having loads of stuff, it's about appreciating what you get and that somebody cared enough to give you a gift.

In our house Santa brings stocking and other presents are from the person who gave them.

Children of a friend of mine asked why he never got them anything as Santa got it all, and thought he was really mean.

[EyeOfNewtBigtoesOfFrog]

I also never really believed. I feel at home on this thread! If I say that to most people they are deeply shocked :o

[AbiRoad]

I think there is no "right" answer to this because there is nothing logical about Father Christmas (who, after all, does not really exist ). Whatever you do, their friends will do it differently so they will have questions (and to my mind part of the fun of it all is seeing them work it out over time).
When DH was a boy, his family did small stocking from FC to be opened first thing, presents under the tree from actually donors (including his parents) to be opened after lunch
When I was a girl, we did small stocking from FC and parental presents from FC, and others presents from actual donors which were put under the tree as and when we saw them, all opened first thing.

We do something a bit in the middle. (Large) stocking from FC. Main present(s) from us, and one or two thoughtful things they have not asked for from us, other presents form actual donor. They open stocking presents first thing and everything else after lunch. Becuase stockings are large (not actual sock size which is what I had), they do get some decent presents in there not just small stocking filler stuff.
Once it is clear that they no longer believe (they don't, but have not yet confessed), I will probably change the balance a bit and give them smaller stockings and more from us.

In response to your DH's point, why dont you really throw them off the scent and actually get a duplicate of something (small) on the list?? That will shut him up.

[Lavenderhoney]

Santa brings the stockings in our house.

Other gifts are from the givers. As we encourage dc to save for Christmas and buy a little gift for each other, and take them out separately to do so, plus they go with dh to get my gift, they would be very annoyed to think Santa has taken all the credit.

Yo ho ho. Welcome to the corporate world my friends:)

[20wkbaby]

What happens when DCs see people with big Christmassy bags of presents being brought round in preparation for Xmas day? Do you have to ban people from handing over their presents? How on earth is it workable - so rude to have to say to people that they can't have the joy of giving because of the story you have told the children.

[Chivetalking]

Back when I had a house of believers the stockings were from Santa and he delivered everything else on behalf of assorted rellies but didn't supply anything. Glorified postman really.

[lottiegarbanzo]

Why not put the family presents out a few days earlier? Then just the Christmas Eve ones are from Santa.

Santa is psychic anyway, so knows what parents are getting. (May get confused about other relatives).

Thanking relatives is important and how do you stop them asking about their present? Pretending they were from someone else, or re-labelling gifts is really rude, ungrateful and just odd.

I think I had a few under the tree labelled from Santa. I'd sussed it was nonsense by 5 or 6 though, so we were all just playing long, pretty much as long as I can remember.

[karinajack]

We write a letter to Santa asking for one present which is from him. All relatives and mum and dad buy presents and take them to Santa (grandads airing cupboard) so that they can be delivered on Christmas Eve. The children know who brought what from tags but Santa has delivered them because they have been good.

[karinajack]

My dh runs around on Xmas eve with other relatives presents and collecting ours when the children are in bed so he is Santa

[lottiegarbanzo]

Do you think maybe your DH's parents couldn't be arsed with getting him and any siblings to write thank you notes, so came up with this ruse as a get out plan?