Please help me win the argument I have with DH *every year* about Father Christmas

[HuevosRancheros]

So, DH says that FC brings all presents. Even those from family and friends. I am a bit about this, as family and friends get no thanks. (well, they do, from us, of course, but that's not the same imo)

I think that FC brings the stocking and some presents, but that family and friends give presents too.

His argument, and I do get it, is that it doesn't make sense to a 5 year old that FC would bring some presents off the list, but that we and GPs get others. Also, FC leaves the non-stocking presents under the tree. How could family leave them there too?
(I really like coming down on Christmas morning to a tree with presents underneath, when there were none there the night before)
But I want DCs to show appreciation for the presents they get and say thank you, not so much to me and DH, but to others.

So, what does FC get in your house? And how do you explain to your DC why he brings some and you buy others?

I should say, DH is convinced that DD (5) will think about it too much and start to doubt FC's existence. Which would be sad, for us.

I think this is the final year we have the chance to 'change' the FC tradition... DD will question why FC has changed what he does next year!

[Zeeky]

I think DH's parents did it that way cos money was very tight, and that way they still had lots of presents delivered by Santa. Buy it did mean they never ever thanked their grandparents/family for presents, which I think is appalling. I would be very annoyed if I found out the presents I had spent time and money choosing and wrapping for nieces/nephews/godchildren etc were being included as Santa's presents and the children had no idea it was from me!

[ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO]

OP Just LOVE that you are calling him "Father Christmas" not Santa.

[Zeeky]

DH had a similar thing in his home growing up. I thought it was totally weird & so we do it my way for our DC! DC write letters to FC with no more than 10 items on it. Family & friends pick items off it of they want ideas of what to buy, FC and us buy the rest. FC usually brings a stocking of small bits and sack full each of bigger stuff. We put under the tree a large item each for them. Presents are put under the tree as they are received. The boys love looking at/squeezing them in the lead up to Chrismas Day and adds to the anticipation!

[HRHLadyG]

Some of our friends and family 'choose' presents for Father Christmas to bring. He chooses the rest!! x

[Floggingmolly]

I may be childish probably, but there is no way I would give presents to anyone to be put into the "Santa"" pile. Finance your own kid's Christmas!

[50shadesofknackered]

In our house Father Christmas delivers all the presents but mummy and daddy can send him presents to deliver too. For example when I take the dc to buy presents for each other, I will help them to wrap them, then we'll leave them by the fireplace and they are magically taken to Father Christmas while we are asleep and delivered on Christmas eve/morning. Remember, he is supposed to be magic so u can explain most things away by just saying that, for Eg. I don't know he gets down the chimney when the fire is lit, he's magic.

[Theas18]

What??

FC brings the stockings only here. Not the big/individual stuff. You can't tell me he's just a glorified post man!

Believe me it makes it so much less traumatic as they get older. No " but if I don't believe I'll get no present" wibbles and they are happy to keep the fun and magic of a silly stocking from FC even as almost grown ups.

[SpockSmashesScissors]

It just makes me very sad and also a bit [shocked] when I hear grown adults be moaning that FC gets all the thanks for gifts they have picked out

It's not about getting thanks, it's all about sharing the joy of giving and receiving with family.

It's lovely for DC to pick out something they know Auntie Louise really could do with - last year they clubbed together and got her a hot wheat bag for her backache - or something they know their brother/sister would really like, AND to also have the joy of knowing that they have family members who care enough to choose gifts for them. That for us and our family is what it's all about.

If questions are asked about santa rather than go into really long stories, I tend to say something like 'it's magic no-one really knows how it works, how do you think he does it?'

[jester68]

In our house Santa brings presents and they are also from mummy and daddy as obviously we work closely with Santa!

But all other presents from family members/friends all come from them. I like my girls to learn that they have to thank people for the gifts that they have taken the time to choose for them.

[EthelredOnAGoodDay]

I'm with you OP, FC brings stuff in pillowcase/stocking. Other presents are from whoever they are from! As someone else said, FC knows what parents have bought and gets the other stuff on the list.

[sweetsomethings]

Can i just say that if Santa does bring all the presents even ones from family. It doesn't mean that the kids don't write thank you cards. To the individual people.

To the poster looks like their is no right or wrong answers. Just a different way of doings things.

[lottiegarbanzo]

So OP, how does your DH deal with nativity plays? He must get enraged that they keep on showing the wise men, not Santa, bringing presents to baby Jesus.

[Melfish]

Pogosticks exactly.

[Brockle]

my friend does what the OP's DH does and gets really shirty if friends give her presents in front of her DD because she doesn't want her DD to know that her gifts aren't all from Santa. she is quite rude about it which I never understand.

children should learn that giving gifts is fun and thanking people for gifts is polite.

she is so nice and sensible for the rest of the year

[marmitecat]

FC brings stocking stuff. Which includes such stellar presents as blu tac, chocolate oranges, sugar mice, gel pens, slipper socks and the guinness book of records.

I bring the nice stuff that they really really want. No way is some weird beardy intruder getting the credit for the ikea kitchen or the ultra fast marble run. My lot also buy gifts for siblings and parents (I give them each a tenner for this).

By age 4 DS2 was asking if FC was a bit like God, as he was able to travel faster than the speed of light. By age 4.5 he had concluded that there wasn't a tooth fairy and the other myths soon got busted too. Doesn't change the kids' enjoyment of Christmas. We still talk about FC and put a glass of wine out for "santa". Just don't get freaked out about what if Santa comes down the chimney when the fire is lit, and why doesn't Santa visit the poor children instead of shoeboxes etc.

[Pogosticks]

Father Christmas fills their stockings. Other presents are from whoever they are from. And Thank You Letters must be written. It's polite and tradition.

[notquitenormal]

Father Christmas brings a book, a chocolate (a Santa, a snowman or a giant coin) & one toy that the elves made (something simple, like the etch-a-sketch in Elf...this year he's going to bring a Space Hopper )

On Christmas Eve Santa brings those presents and puts them in the stocking. While he visits, his magic brings all the presents that family have bought to his sleigh and he puts them under the tree.

My Nephew is 11 and my Sister gently told him the truth before he started Secondary School in September.

[Bluestocking]

You are right, your DH is wrong. HTH.

[learnasyougo]

FC definitely brings only stocking presents and a few bigger things. relatives also give gifts. Otherwise, what's with all the talk about 'Christmas shopping'and the tv adverts of people giving gifts to each other and all that wrapping paper in the shops?

plus kids love to join in the gift giving.

[Rosvita]

Presents from friends/family go under the tree whenever they are received-be that before Xmas or on the day itself.presents from us and from Santa (his are wrapped in different wrapping paper to differentiate) go under the tree overnight once they're in bed ready for Xmas morning.santa does the stocking too.santa is clever and knows what us and others will be buying so that's how presents aren't doubled up.he buys what he thinks they will like but he won't buy anything that the parents wouldn't be happy with.as he has to buy for every child in the world if something is more expensive then parents may have to give a bit more or they may say it's from Santa when it's actually from them.

[Rubybrazilianwax]

Yep, we are the same loveanddeath. Santa fills the stockings and brings the things the ask for in their letters, and then some! From dh and I, the dc get a christmas eve present of pjs, books etc. Some relatives give before the day and the dc accept the gift, say thank you and put undet the tree until xmas morning. Other relatives arrive xmas day and we exchange gifts then. I can't imagine the dc not knowing that someone bought them a gift and not saying thank you for it.

[makemineapinot]

In our house Santa brings stockings and big presents and I give my dc a 'decent' present or 2 as they know I can't afford much. The stockings are by the fireplace and the Santa presents are on the floor in front of the fireplace. Presents to/from other people go under the tree as and when they arrive in the house so there are usually presents under our tree from day 1. Dc are encouraged to write thank yous yo the people who give them the gift. Oh, and my presents to dc go under tree when they are in bed, they leave their presents to family under the tree when they go to bed on Xmas Eve! Santa is magic and communicates with parents re presents and behaviour! And this year I am helping towards a present for ds (he 'knows' the truth but plays along for dd) as it is more expensive than normal and he won't get other costly(ish) presents from me!

[LauraChant]

We do the same as we did when I was little.

Santa fills the stockings that are either by your bed or outside your door. Proper stockings so you can see the bumps and shapes. Of course what he really does is fill duplicates downstairs and swap the full one for the empty one.

All other presents go under the tree as and when they are wrapped and are from whoever gave them. Often this isn't til Christmas Eve anyway so there are
still presents appearing.

I was an advanced child in some ways but still "believed" until I was about 11 by dint of just not thinking about it very much. For example I was able to read my mum's magazines with articles about stocking fillers and still believe that in my case, Santa brought the stuff. A woolly-minded child I guess.

[wamabama]

When we were younger my DM said they sent the presents to him and he delivered them which really doesn't make much sense but it answered the question of 'why do you need to go Christmas shopping for us?' I guess.