Please help me win the argument I have with DH *every year* about Father Christmas

[HuevosRancheros]

So, DH says that FC brings all presents. Even those from family and friends. I am a bit about this, as family and friends get no thanks. (well, they do, from us, of course, but that's not the same imo)

I think that FC brings the stocking and some presents, but that family and friends give presents too.

His argument, and I do get it, is that it doesn't make sense to a 5 year old that FC would bring some presents off the list, but that we and GPs get others. Also, FC leaves the non-stocking presents under the tree. How could family leave them there too?
(I really like coming down on Christmas morning to a tree with presents underneath, when there were none there the night before)
But I want DCs to show appreciation for the presents they get and say thank you, not so much to me and DH, but to others.

So, what does FC get in your house? And how do you explain to your DC why he brings some and you buy others?

I should say, DH is convinced that DD (5) will think about it too much and start to doubt FC's existence. Which would be sad, for us.

I think this is the final year we have the chance to 'change' the FC tradition... DD will question why FC has changed what he does next year!

[LittleMissGreen]

In our house FC brings a stocking and a 'big' present (About £20). All other presents that arrive are from family members - the older kids are well aware that family members drop them off/post them etc and they are put away in the loft until Christmas Eve when they go under the tree. (Well the smallest ones haven't actually questioned how the family presents get there - they are too excited seeing them!)

[Luggage16]

santa brings 1 small gift here and everything else is from us/family. I dont want my kids growing up thinking they can ask for anything at all because some magical fat man will magic up gifts from no where. What happens if the kids ask for a pony, or a very expensive games console etc etc? If santa brings it they wont understand but if parents do you can explain that its too many pennies. Also I think its nice for family and friends to see the kids faces and get thanks for their gifts too

[Morgause]

Father Christmas only brings presents for children. He brings a stocking and one big (unwrapped) present that he leaves by the tree.

All the other presents are wrapped with a tag saying who they are from. And require thank yous.

[HouseAtreides]

I do one present, in different special paper, from FC. All the rest are from mere mortals!

[absentmindeddooooodles]

Father christmas brings atockings and sime bits for under the tree.

Stocking is left at the end of the bed.

Parents and other family members buy pressies too.......but father christmas is magic so he knows exactly what everyone else is getting.

Relatives pressies are usually under the tree as they aare recieved....and things form father christmas and parents magically appear overnight :)

And of course grown ups can talk to santa. It is usually by letter in our house.....but sometimes if its urgent we can make a phonecall too.

[DontmindifIdo]

Erm, surely father christmas has to call you to find out if your DD is on the naughty or nice list? DS is on the "not sure" list at the moment, he's having to be good to make sure he stays on the 'good' list.

In our house it just isnt consistant. Father Christmas brings stockings, gifts are from people who bought them but arrive with Father Christmas. I'm sure he's going ot work out it's odd soon but I can't be doing with being ungrateful.

Also, if FC brings everything, there's a real chance that some DCs your DD knows will get alot more (particularly if you live in a rich area), do you want your DD to think she wasn't as good as them?

[Peetle]

Our DTs are 6 and thus starting to ask searching questions; we reckon this is the last year for any real belief in Satan.

We've never really explained the details - Santa comes and the presents arrive, though they know some come from relatives and we organize most of them. We do leave things like half eaten carrots and mince pies out, plus some "snowy footprints" on the hearth.

We do them a "portable North Pole" video each (google it, it's free) which does add to the conviction.

[ilovepowerhoop]

Peetle ha ha at Satan!!

[bellagogosdead]

In our house Father Christmas brings stockings and an annual under the tree. He used to bring another pressie as well when the dc were little and believed.

I do think the fact that some friends said FC brought all their presents confused them.

Its definitely the right way otherwise how can you say no to an ipad/racing car/pony? Surely if FC brought everything price would be no object?

[ilovepowerhoop]

in this house Santa brings all the presents that me and dh have bought. Presents given by other people are from those people and can go under the tree at any time. Ds decided in a previous year that although santa gets the gifts we have to pay for them so you cant get anything too extravagant.

I think we are towards the end of believing in Santa as they are now age 7 and 10.

[Rosencrantz]

I always got told as a kid:

'Father Christmas is actually really busy, so Mum, Dad and the grandparents did the shopping for him, then we sent them to the North Pole. Father Christmas brings them back down the chimney on Xmas eve!'

Lol. Worked for us!

[FoxMulder]

When we were kids FC brought us all our presents. I assumed it was a money saving exercise by mum & dad!

[Rosencrantz]

Santa is effectively, just a festive postman.

[FoxMulder]

I think it makes it easier to say 'no' because the parents had no say in it, it was all down to FC.

[Rikalaily]

Santa brings stockings here, the kids know that they get the rest from family & friends.

[harryhausen]

In our house, mum and dad give stockings and 'extra' gifts not written in a letter to FC. FC brings most of the things on the list. I'm lucky in that my Dcs don't have hugely expensive tastes and the list is never outrageous.

In the run up to Xmas day presents are put under the tree from friends and family. The Dcs know this as they are often there when people drop them round etc or they see us pass on gifts to other people.

So it's a mixture. I think it's important to see that other people give them gifts at Christmas too.

[Greensleeves]

You can't give FC the credit for presents other people have bought! That's just rude and robs them of the pleasure!

In our house FC does the stockings and everything from us, but stuff from other people goes under the tree as we receive it, so a nice mix of tantalising parcels and big surprises on Christmas morning :)

We're on borrowed time anyway as our boys are 9 and 11 (ds1 is Aspie and gullible so we've probably got another year or so there, and ds2 I think is perfectly aware it's hokum but pretends to believe in FC so he can ask for the moon on a stick without us being able to say "we are not made of money"

Your dh is BU

[piratecat]

set your FC rules op. It only gets harder to fool them when they get older.

She won't be wondering HOW FC knew what to get and how you or relatives knew not to get the same thing!

Not yet anyway. My dd is 11 and prob doesn't believe, but wants to believe that somehow xmas morning turns out well organised!

I do what we did as a kid, i know it varies. FC brings a sackful of presents to her bedroom, and there are also gifts under the tree from mum.

Some people do small stocking of 'bits' from FC and a big gift under the tree from him, then parents presents on top, labelled, and family's gifts labelled. I think it's right to be able to thank the person who gave them.

[HuevosRancheros]

Thanks all, school run got in the way of me continuing this.

I shall read everything and formulate my argument

God, I forgot to say that DH insists that FC gets presents for everyone, so when the adults open their presents they can't thank the giver...

My DH is usually an exceedingly rational lovely person, but on this he has got it so wrong, I am going to have to put my foot down

And exexpat you are absolutely right, when they hear at school that their friends' parents have bought their friends stuff, they will wonder why we haven't bothered!

btw Peetle did you mean Satan or Santa?

[headoverheels]

You're right, your DH is wrong. It's not fair on grandparents etc if Santa gets credit for everything.

[EyeOfNewtBigtoesOfFrog]

Rofl at your DH complaining that it "won't make sense". Nothing about FC makes sense! He carries out a completely different set of behaviours for each household, he comes down a chimney which is almost invariably either far too small or doesn't exist. He flies on a flying sled with flying reindeer FFS.

Everyone has their own version of FC and to me, the one where he only does the stockings is far, far easier to handle. He comes in the night and fills the stocking, if you're asleep. You also bump into him at nursery, school and the shopping centre, wherein he looks different every time. On xmas morning downstairs are the presents from friends and family, not from FC.

I really think it is far better to keep the whole thing quite lighthearted and silly so no one has to come down to earth with an upsetting bump.

[Shallishanti]

OP, your dh is wrong.
In our house when dc's were small, FC brought presents which went in their stockings (so we did the mince pie, carrot and sherry thing).
Other gifts were from us and family, clearly labelled and requiring thanks!
They did write to FC but knew from experience he only gave small things, so that's what they asked for. They could also ask him all those akward questions (like how old he is)....and he replied! I found some of the letters the other day (sniff)

[mrsyattering]

In our house Santa brings the stuff we get, and they have presents from Gp's and Aunties. These are usually brought by relatives later in the day. So they know to say thank you. Some are given to us to put under the tree before Christmas so dc's know they are there too

[EyeOfNewtBigtoesOfFrog]

And I have to tell you 5 was the age DS decided it must, logically, be bollocks. Really, it doesn't matter. He still has just as much fun with it.

[ZingWantsCake]

DH insists on it, but I hate the whole Father Christmas bullshit.
it gets more and more complicated each year and I want no part of it.

The prevailing story at the moment is that we (and others) buy the presents, wrap them, put them under the tree so when FC visits it's all sorted and he can have a break enjoying the mince pie & sherry we leave out for him and can feed the reindeer carrots.
We are handling our own presents so his load is lighter.

I can't wait for all the kids to figure it out - it's fucking tiresome.

Thankfully we agreed not to bother with the tooth fairy.
that's another load of crap.