Children's nativity play and Christmas show mishaps: please share your favourites

[GeraldineMumsnet]

Hello,

We're busier than Santa's elves putting together some new content for Christmas. And we'd like your help, please.

What we're after are stories of your children's performances in Nativity plays, school Christmas shows, pantos etc, that didn't go exactly according to plan.

So outright disasters or just mistakes, bloopers, wardrobe or script malfunctions that made you giggle/blush/strangely proud, please share them here.

Thank you :)

[kweggie]

when I was school governor, I made the mistake of taking DD1 , just talking, to DS1's Christmas service. I thought if I sat at the back I would be able to slip out unnoticed if DD1 got fidgety. Arrived to find whole population of the county crammed into school gym. They had saved me a place at the FRONT.
DD1 proceeds to comment on anything and everything...
(looking at Christmas tree)'when can we open those presents?WHY aren't they real presents?
(during the readings)' Why don't they show me the pictures? Ask them to show me the PICTURES!' , followed by a little scrap as I try to stop her getting on to stage to look...
(as I am trying to leave discreetly) WHY can't we stay till the end?Are they having the presents NOW?'

[GeraldineMumsnet]

Thanks again to everyone who has posted - some cracking stories

[GooseyLoosey]

I have several:

A ds's first primary school nativity, he still had some chicken pox scabs. He spent the first half of the performance (right at the front of the stage) looking down at his tummy poking scabs. After a while he looked up and caught my eye and I conveyed to him that continued scab picking was not a good idea. For the next few minutes he stood angelically at the front of stage (well he plucked the neighbouring angel's tinsel a few times) but was clearly desperate for something to do with his hand. Inspiration struck and he spent the rest of the nativity with his hand happily down his trousers playing with his willy. I was so proud!

At another pre-school nativity, the three wise men were in dispute as to who would bring frankinsense as none of them could say it. All three shouted out "I bring gold", "so do I" "me too" and then one off the stage claiming victory, leaving the other 2 to haggle vociferously over myrrh.

The final one was where a doll was carefully placed as baby Jesus on stage. A stray sheep (one of the youngest children) tripped over the doll and the others took this as an impromptu football invitation so Jesus was passed around a few sheep before being reclaimed by a slightly flustered teacher.

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

This one was me, in reception year as Mary. I dutifully carried my baby Jesus onto stage only to find that there was already a doll in the manger. Instead if just putting my one on top, I put it on the floor, where it stayed for the rest of the play. It took me a good while to decide what to do as well, we still have the video of me hesitating and looking at my teacher with wide 'what do I DO?????' eyes.

[timetosmile]

Yorkshire, 2008.
Nervous 4yr old Mary, having entered stage right, turns to face the audience. Sweet, but with most of her fingers crammed into her mouth in a self-conscious sort of way.
Loud hiss from 4yr old Joseph.
"Stop it, tha'll get WORMS in tha' BELLY"

[moajab]

My DSs school is very good at expecting wierd and wonderful costumes from us at very short notice. So when my DS came home from school and announced that he was to be a leopard in the school play that seemed entirely probable and I spent the rest of the evening in a bad mood moaning about how was I going to make a leopard costume. It was only after he went to bed that I realised he meant shepherd!

[Gigondas]

Sportacus moustache

[Gigondas]

These are all very good. But where is the poster who has a big problem 2/3 years ago as couldn't get off the Sportacus moustache her ds had drawn on himself with indelible ink

[jo164]

Haven't read them all, but a friend's daughter thought 'Frank' and 'Merv' the wise men took Gold to Baby Jesus!

[Pagwatch]

About two years ago DS2 was asked to play Joseph.

I should explain that he is at special school and was 13 or so.

To help the children they had a dress rehearsal in the morning. He put his costume on as did Mary , but they both then figured that they had had enough of the getting changed shit and refused to change for the performance.

So as the audience tried to suspend disbelief they were forced to watch Pagboy and Mary in school uniform looking like a Shameless production. Then Mary dropped baby Jesus and picked him up by his feet and held him limply whilst kicking him in the head. Pagboy picked his fingers or covered his ears and mouthed 'no 'tivity mummy' at me.
It was painful and hilarious all at the same time.

[bruffin]

Just remembered another
When DS was 3 he was a shepherd, He was sitting around the campfire with the other shepherds, looked at the audience his face crumpled and he howled!. He spent the rest of the show sitting on a teachers lap.

[rumpleteaser]

I was a present once when I was a child and had to wear a box with just my red woolly tight clad legs poking out the bottom. My cumbersome costume caused me to fall off the side of the stage.

[crumpet]

dd at nursery aged 11 months, and parents were asked to help dress the children from the costumes at the nursery and take them to the hall - dh did this. I arrived in haste from work just after it had started. Lovely tableau with elves dancing, reindeer, snowmen etc....and the pink panther sitting obliviously to one side. Dh's reasoning for this festive costume was that it was a chilly evening and he thought I'd want her to be warm.

aged 2 dd was an angel, tried to kidnap jesus for a cuddle, and when hissed at from the side of the stage threw him back into the manger.

ds made a beautiful page aged 3, but spent the show with his finger up his nose, taking it out only to persuade a fellow page to help him unwrap the presents and play peekaboo with their hats.

[mummymccar]

When I was 10 I had an ear infection that meant I couldn't hear much at all. During the play I started daydreaming and missed my cue. My teacher started whispering prompts which I obviously couldn't hear. Then louder and louder before he eventually gave up, wrote me a note and brought it on stage.

[2gorgeousboys]

When DS2 was in reception he was the donkey in the whole school nativity play, he'd been off colour all day but determined he was not going to miss the evening performance. All was going well (even if he had bright red cheeks) until Mary, Joseph and DD2 arrived at the stable. DS2 sat down, as per the script, at Mary's feet and promptly fell asleep. He looked very cute curled up fast asleep until, being full of cold, he started snoring .

DS1 was cast as Joseph in the nursery nativity and spent the whole time trying to close baby Jesus' eyes. This came across in the video as him poking baby Jesus in the eyes constantly!

[TheHumancatapult]

Could not work out why someone in audience at ds3 first play was trying not to laugh

Well ds3 was signing and his lsa not being to good at it and Ds cordination led to instead of signing I am a pig signed your a pig then later on instead signing that teddys black he signed that teddys a prostitute

Lesson learnt that the msktoon sign for pig is very similar to calling someone a pig and black in makaton is similar to prostitute
Hence her shaking with laughter after

[verlainechasedrimbauds]

DS (aged about three) was one of the three kings at a Nursery School nativity. I think he was just expected to give his "present" to baby Jesus and stand aside looking regal but he clearly felt this wasn't enough and decided to ad-lib: He came in, sighed deeply and said: "I'm sorry we're late but the road was ever so bumpity".

[Sidge]

Not mine, but I shared a house after Uni with a girl who'd recently qualified as a primary school teacher.

She came home in fits after their Nativity to tell us that it had all gone spectacularly wrong when the inn-keeper, on being asked if there was room in the inn by Joseph, announced loudly and clearly

"yes! I've got loads of rooms, come in and choose one!"


My DDs school makes sure every child in KS1 has a role in the Christmas Play so we usually end up with 1 Mary, 1 Joseph, 1 Angel Gabriel, 1 baby Jesus, 3 Wise Men, 15 narrators, 18 shepherds, 23 stars, 6 donkeys, 14 sheep, 2 wolves, 3 cows, 9 horses, 7 rabbits and any other random animals they have costumes in the cupboard for. Last year we had a giraffe and a lion too

[Saltire]

DS2 was a snowman in the nursery school christmas play. His outfit consisted of his dad's white t-shite and a bowler aht and scarf. SO, while the play was going on and he wasn't involved he sat with the t-shirt over his head, with his pants on show. Realising this got a laugh he then sat like that all the more. Then to my utter embarassment, turned round,pulled down his pants and mooned at the audience. of course by the time it was his turn to perform, he decided to do the whole routine with the t-shirt held up to his chest.

[YohoAhoy]

One year ds was a donkey in a very cute costume. Spent the entire performance sat next to Mary & Joseph, chewing his ears and being sporadically kicked from behind by Joseph. Intermittent hissing from the wings from teachers to stop him, a long pause, then "kick, kick, kick." Kicking wasn't hard and ds was largely unconcerned but as the nativity went on there was more and more suppressed giggling from the audience.

That was the same year Mary delicately sat down and hurled the baby Jesus into the crib with a resounding thump, where it stayed for the evening with only it's little feet showing through the straw. Slightly less well suppressed giggling from audience.

And now I remember that was also the same year one of the Kings, who was a tiny little boy, enthusiastically joined in the singing, and he had the most booming, deep voice. There was a moment of stunned silence from the audience, followed by positively desparate attempts to suppress giggles.

That was a good year

[Tidybush]

I was helping out with the Christmas play that involved a group of children exchanging presents. They had to open the box their present was in and pretend to be really excited.

In every rehearsal one little boy got the box containing a doll. On the day of the actual public performance he opened his box and exclaimed "oh no, not the bloody doll again".

[SolidGoldVampireBat]

I am so loving this thread. And am not going to spoil it with the not-so-good nativity play trauma that blighted my final year of primary school.

But at least these days you generally don't have to make DC's costumes yourself. I mean, when we got the letter home from nursery the first thing I said to the staff was 'Do we have to make outfits?' and was delighted to hear that they had their own teatowels and sacks lined up.

[serin]

3 events spring to mind,

The nativity where DS2 ( then a trainee a cathedral choirister) took leave of his senses and loudly baa'ed his way through away in a manger..... that ended his career really.

The Christmas concert when DD's pompous headmaster was kneeling in the aisle conducting a carol and 3yr old DS1 broke free, ran down the aisle and jumped on his back, yelling "Aaaargh, I'm a power ranger". Headmaster fell flat on his face and couldn't look at me for months.

The local living nativity when Angel Gabriel was meant to abseil down the church bell tower but something went wrong and he was left dangling until the fire brigade rescued him. Like something out of the Vicar of Dibley

[JentlyDoesIt]

DS was in his first nativity at nursery at the age of 13 months. He was given the partof a donkey. When the time came, he was carried in by one of the nursery staff, dressed in his little grey trousers, t shirt & ears, complete with a little face paint for good measure, it became very apparent that for true authenticity, he had created some "donkey droppings" of his own, immediately before being carried in.

They all sang "little donkey" whilst the green fog surrounded us parents then he was whisked out for a swift nappy change

I should not have read the rest of this thread whilst in a crowded Starbucks earlier... Got some very strange looks

[BrigitBigKnickers]

DD2 was a confident little thing when she was three.

As a result she was picked for the part of the star and given the hallowed job of singing Twinkle Twinkle as a solo.

DD, dressed in silvery sparkles, stepped forward as the introduction started, opened her mouth and...

declaimed loudly "I need a wee wee..."

Her weak bladder was well known the the nursery teachers who all feel over themselves to whisk her off the stage before a puddle ensued.