Letter received from NHS about my "clinicially obese" child....

[CantThinkofFunnyName]

I'm rather flummoxed. I have today received a letter from NHS Change 4 Life setting out details of the measurement programme they have been conducting and how my 10 yr old DS is considered "very overweight/clinically obese". There follows a bunch of suggetions about exercise, eating healthily etc.

My first reaction was complete and utter disbelief at the weight they said he was and then I weighed DS and he is that weight. BUT there is not an inch of fat on him! Each week he plays football, rugby, tennis, karate and cycles 2 miles every day. He is a fitness fanatic. He eats heathily with the odd treat/snack, but does tend to be constantly hungry.

He is 4ft 11 inch and 7 st 10lbs which puts him on the 99th centile, qualifying him to be "clinically obese".

I really don't know anything much about this, but I do know my DS and simply cannot believe this. Athletic and muscly (even at 10) yes - but fat? It's almost laughable.

Anyone else had similar situations and what did you do?

When they contact you I would give them a list of weekly sporting activities along with times, eg rugby 2 hours training, etc and then ask them what other exercise they would recommend. Completely barking and clearly the letter doesn't distinguish between a child who has muscle and one that has fat making up their weight.

7 stone isn't huge at age 10 if the child is tall. My ds is 8 and up to my chin. He'll easily be as tall as me (5'6'') at age 10. If I weighed 7 stone I'd be underweight.

Just looked at your DS photo, no way is he obese!! He just looks normal. I know a few obese kids and they are huge.

He is 3.5 inches shorter than me, and about 3stone 6 lbs lighter than me.

Now I am overweight, I think my BMI is 28. But I am not obese. Seeing as he's only a few inches shorter than me I would expect him to be a lot nearer my weight if he was obese.

I wouldn't worry about it.

omg, they weigh kids at school?
please tell me this is not true

op he looks perfect to me

you can opt out (you have to ring your local pct or school nurse team)

omg, i bet all the kids start picking on each other esp the girls, my dd is very tall for her age and still a chubby toddler, shes only 2.4. but will always be tall, and therefore weighmore.

dread to think of all the kids going i weigh such and such what do you weigh, comparing themseleves, her getting called fatso etc

and if you do opt out, is it going to seem like your kids the odd child that won't be weighed.

ffs know wonder they all have eatting disorders

Does your son know about any of this? As shocking as it is for you to be accused of having an obese son, it would be far worse if your son was aware of the letter. My dh - who admittedly could lose a few pounds these days - has always had a real thing about his weight, dating back to when his mother used to drag him to the GPs and dieticians when he was 10+ worrying that he weighed too much. Like your son, he was a fit, tall and chunky person. But not fat. He boringly gets told how much he looks like Martin Johnson these days, so you can imagine his rugby-player build, and that's the build he's always had. I can see how his teeny Weegie mother couldn't quite cope with thinking that it was normal for a child of hers to be so big, but in her attempts to make him lose weight, she left him with a complex that means I have never known him take his top off on summer holidays because he is has a poor body image.

My ds1 is built along the same lines. He is tall, but also very broad for his age. We have to buy clothes 2 sizes too big for him just to fit them over his enormously big (off the chart) head. Everyone who sees him comments on how big he is - unless they know his Dad, when they don't think it's so remarkable! But he's not fat. I don't want him to grow up with a complex like dh, and while I think childhood obesity is an important problem, marking your someone of your son's age-group out as 'abnormal' without taking into account the individual can be totally damaging. If they can't spare the money to look at them as individuals, then they need to be less accusatory in their letter, until they've done the follow up phone call and got some proper info. Everyone knows that BMI is an imperfect measurement, this is just another example of it.

Carriedababi The letters are sent home, the children are not told unless the parents tell them.

As for the OP's son he is nearly 8 stone, that is not a normal weight for a 10 year old even a tall one.
My DS was just as tall as OP's son at 10 and is broad with a wide chest and shoulders,his tops have always needed to be at least 2 years ahead, yet he was 6 stone, nearly 2 stone lighter.
The fact that OP is very heavy for his age and height and should be flagged up and then followed up. What is wrong with that? The letter is just the first stage. Hopefully the next stage is they will look at him more individually then it will see that there isn't a problem.

My DDs class were all told and they brought the letters home as were my friends DS class. DD reaction to it was too weigh herself right after getting home. They shouldn't be obsessing about weight at that age. Like I said earlier, one boy was crying and afterwards most the kids discussed their weights with each other.

But isn't it the parents job to monitor/sort their kids weight or seek help if they need to?

My DD wasn't the only one opted out. I am happy with her growth/weight and didn't need a letter with basic 'advice' that was already obvious.

People vary in size, height, build etc. There is a huge variation in people's weights as adults, and as children as long as they are healthy, it's not surprising there is a variation in weight.

Ds1 is 8.5. He is average height, but weighs 3stone5. I would be surprised if he reached 4 stone by age 10. He probably is technically 'underweight', and if weighed at school I'm sure it would be flagged up. But it seems right for him - he has plenty of energy, has very very narrow shoulders and waist/hips/pelvis - if you imagine putting your thumbs together and your 3rd fingers together, I can reach right around his waist like that. He has had spells of looking too thin, but atm he looks right for him.

Dd is 6.4 and weighs 4 stone. She has broader shoulders, a more solid build but still looks 'slim'. She is never ever going to be a waif, but is healthy and slim, wears age appropriate clothes.

Ds2 is 3.7 and weighs 2stone5. He is in the middle of them build wise - slim but not tiny like ds1.

I work with boys aged 8-13, and it is very common for them to fill out a fair bit at age 10 - lots of them get a bit on the podgy side, but it is simply prior to a growth spurt and they slim off totally afterwards. It looks to me like your ds will hit puberty on the early side, probably his voice will change fairly early (12 or so).

I wouldn't worry.

My DD yr 6 and I opted out of her being weight as part of the program I do not want her worrying about her weight at this age it will be tough enough in latter years.

"There is a huge variation in people's weights as adults, and as children as long as they are healthy, it's not surprising there is a variation in weight."

The letters make account for the variation. My DD was 6 and half stone in april and 5'2 in height which put her on 50th centile. The chart showed that she could have been between a 1 1/2 stone lighter and 1 1/2 stone heavier and still be considered within the healthy range, that is a variation of 3 stone for the same age and height to be considered healthy range

And yes it is parents should be aware of health issues in their children, but some aren't and those children fall through the gaps, also some parents are delusional about their children's weight and won't admit there is a problem.

Some 'parents being delusional' surely isn't worth making lots of kids potentially anxious about their weight though?

I will keep opting out as feel uncomfortable about it. When I first read the letter DD gave, I didn't really give it alot of thought until DD hopped straight on the scales and made several comments on her weight (she is normal weight for age).

I also did abit of reading up on it and didn't like the tone on some of their reports and had heard of people being weighed anyway even though they opted out (sometimes disguised as a maths experiment and other). My DC were made aware of this and were not weighed in any shape or form luckily and several kids were opted out and some kids refused themselves.

But if your 'normal' is towards the top end of the centiles, then perhaps putting on 1 or 2 pounds would tip you into the 'obese' category, whereas if you are a more lightly built child (as my ds1 is), then very much too heavy for 'them' would still be in the normal range.

My friend was 6' at age 11. He is still a big adult, but not a giant! Children all develop at different rates and everyone's normal is different.

Yes, there have been some signs that he will hit puberty early - certainly on the sweaty/smelly after exercise side!!!

However, taking into account the majority of opinions here, I won't worry about it. Thanks so much everyone.