Am I being hysterical again or does my DS really have autism symptoms

[margobambino]

My DS is 2 months, able to make good eye contact, social, initiates communication with people etc. He says quite a lot words and 2-3 words sentences too.
However, since he was 7-8 months he likes to spin objects and enjoys watching spinning objects. He started respondin his name at approximatelly 6 months. However, nowadays, he usually does not respond when we call him. When I tell him something after his name he does it for example brings me something but if I only call his name, he doesn't look at me most of the times. I was reading some information on the internet and then noticed that he sometimes walks on his tiptoes too. Plus he is afraid of vacuum cleaner. I spent all my weekend on the internet reading and searching, and really not sure whether I should be worried or not. Obviously I am worried but is this another depressive/anxious/hysterical state or am I right to feel worried.
Please help.

Stop reading websites. Your son sounds completely normal to me. It is your anxiety that is the concern. Do you think it might be a good idea to talk to your GP about it, if you haven't already?

He sounds normal to me too, but see your HV if you are worried. My dd (5) is scared of the hoover, me ironing, two people talking at once, occasionally two colours touching each other on a piece of paper, all sorts of weird things, and is incredibly bright, so I worried for a bit. She is totally normal, just a bit less "normal" than some other children. Websites can make you believe your child has anything-don't read them-you will get paranoid!! Even mn can do that sometimes!!

agree, ladyglencora, he does sound fine. that is not to say that you should ignore your maternal instincts, but certaainly don't read internet pages on autism. it's a spectrum disorder, we all have autistic traits,it's how they stack up in terms of our communication with others etc that matters. a couple of ticks on a list is nothing, i think.

I definetely agree that my mental health is ot very good now. I am still breastfeeding and should stop ASAP and start an AD medication I guess. They gave me Sertraline (it is OK with breastfeeding) last year and unfortunately it did not work well. I have had frequent anxiety episodes with quite severe depressive symptoms since I had my baby, all related to his health.
But this time my husband shares my anxiety abit too. I think he is most worried about spinning objects staff.
AitchTwoOh, I am not that confident, no. I am very inexperienced.

ach, we're all inexperienced with our firstborn, by definition. how my dd1 survived at all is a mystery to me.

you sound like you've had a tough time of it, health-wise, you poor old stick. well bloody done on the breastfeeding, though, that's a tremendous achievement, fantastic. have you thought about posting on the bfing boards to see if someone can think of a good, safe AD for you? that's if you don't want to give up just yet, obv, if you do you can most certainly give up with enormous pride in yourself.

margo I too have suffered with depression since DD2, it makes normal problems be huge and your thoughts go over the top.

I often thought that my indigestion was mehaving a heart attack. I'm not minimalising the worries you have for your DS, but if you are like I was, every little thing my DD did I found a website to say it was a condition of one thing or another.

The only way you will truely convince yourself is to get advice from a professional,and even then due to your condition you may doubt what they say.

Not being negative here (I've been through it so can fully understand), it's hard for you , I even got to the point where I was convinced my HV was ignoring what I said about DD because she thoguht I wasn't coping with DD due to my anxiety and depression.

Good luck let me know how you get on tomorrow

Thank you AitchTwoOh. My milk supply has reduced and don't think that it worths continuing nutritionwise, but stopping BF when I am already very anxious is not a good idea everybody says. Yes I think I will post on the BF boards to ask advise or mention to my new GP (just moved to the area, on top of everything). The old one was rubbish though, did not want to prescribe anything except Sertraline.

it's not about nutrition only, though, is it? (plus it's nutritious stuff, doesn't stop being just cos he's older. in fact in some cultures they give the elderly ebm when they're poorly to build them up).

i hope you can get some help with your anxieties, it's bad when your mind just won't stop whirring, isn't it? good luck with your search for a more imaginative GP.

I have the same feelings/thoughts MrsPurple and usually am convinced that HVs or GPs aren't listening to me and are ignoring what I say. I hope this time they will be able to reassure me.

OK.
ds1 does have autistic traits. He does all the things you mention.
ds2 (21months) has no autistic tendencies. But he loves spinning things, flushing the toilet, was terified of hoover until very recently, often ignores me...
They are completely different children, but you would have to meet them to see why ds1 is the "autistic-spectrum" one and ds2 isn't, because on paper it is impossible to descibe.
Ticking some items on a list of not-that-rare behaviours doesn't in itself mean a child is autistic. I wonder if someone like a good health visitor met your child aand thought they were fine, could that reassure you?
I remember being in torrents of tears about ds1 - thought he would die of not eating enough - all sorts of things, so I do understand (I think) your anxiety. It is hard enough being a parent without having depression to deal with, you have my sympathy...

During periods of growth, boys ears can play up. They can phase out familiar sounds, like their own name, and you think they're not listening, when in actual fact, they can't hear you.

Girls don't get this problem.

Everything else you've said sounds perfectly normal, except the walking on tiptoes.

Most small kids thunder about like elephants. I live in a flat with very disgruntled people above me ... what I would give for a kid who walks on tiptoes

night all, i'm off to bed.
good luck, margo. he does sound lovely, and you sound like you're totally doing your best for him.

both my DD's used to walk on tiptoes, they were discovering balance and the things they could do.

If you are really worried get your dh to be there with you when you see HV.

Thanks mybabywakesupsinging, for your symphaty. I think a good HV probably could reassure me.
Desiderata, hearing test was done for another reason recently, ENT doctor said that he probably had some glue ear but it is much better now and hearing is quite good. He is not walking on tiptoes very frequently but ocassionally. You made me laugh, thank you, I know what you mean, because his room is just above ours and sometimes he plays football with his dad in his room while I am trying to have a little nap with a very low mood.

Good night AitchTwoOh. I should go to bed too, I am working tomorrow. I hope I will be able to sleep.
I will keep you updated guys, as soon as I contact the HV.

Margo, there are other ADs they can give you while you are BF so, if your anxiety is causing you problems, there are other options. Sertraline is the most commonly prescribed one but there are 2 others that are often prescribed too (I can't think of their names atm). You have my sympathy - Sertraline was very bad for me.

Well done on BF so long - it sounds as though things have been tough.

Try to remember to enjoy your DS. Sometimes it's easy to focus on all that's not right and it can be hard to notice the good things. Take Care.

I have phoned the HVs office and they will phone me back to arrange an appointment. Do you think I should contact a private specialist?

Margo, try not to worry. You're seeing an HV and I hope that can reassure you a bit. There is absolutely no need to contact a specialist; there would be no hurry even if something were wrong, but I honestly don't think it is.

The trouble with self-diagnosing ASD is that many traits are common to lots if not most children. Occasional tiptoe walking is no cause for concern - if he never walked any other way it would be (but it wouldn't necessarily be ASD anyway). Many kids are fascinated by the toilet and will flush it for fun/interest. Many if not most small boys go through a slightly obsessive phase playing, where they have to line up their cars a particular way or fixate on one toy for days on end.

Try to let your HV help you to be reassured, and get some help to address your anxiety.

I am at work now and feel like crying. I am trying to control myself as I don't want others to know that I am depressed. At the moment if someone asks whether I am OK, I may burst into tears. Is this an indication for urgent appointment with GP? Sorry I keep asking, I have lost all my confidence it seems. Not able to decide without asking someone.

Don't know anything much about depression, but yes, I do think you need to see the GP. You're having a really hard time at the moment, so try to let the HCPs help you.

Yes Margo - you do need to see a GP. You are on the verge of tears all the time and are overly anxious and this is causing you to not enjoy life, you are not happy and your constant fretting will have an impact on DS.

Hi Margo,

How did it go later today, did you ring GP re depression? and has HV called you back?

I really feel for you as I have been through the depression (am still having therapy,have been today), and I'm alot more positive etc. I explained last night that I also suspected DD2 of having problems, I am still awaiting the referal but I honestly think (now depression is lifting) that she is just a normal 3 year old (a little immature), but nothing major.

We all worry over our children (my dad still worries over me ). But when you are ill yourself everything seems much worse and problems are catrostiphied (i hope that spelt right!)

Let me know how you are, and take confet that you are not the only one, although it does sometimes feel like it.

Does it help to know that a great many non-autistic people have traits which could be described as autistic traits? I work in a school for children with special needs, about 75% of our children have ASD. 100% of the staff do things that could be interrepted as 'autistic' but only 1 of us actually is on the spectrum.

Thanks MrsPurple. Unfortunately HV didn't phone me back, I hope she'll call tomorrow. I couldn't ring GP, felt a bit anxious about it. Tomorrow I will force myself to call.
When I came home from work, spent sometime with DS. We went to M&S together and I bought him a big toy tea set in a big plastic kettle shape container. As soon as we came back home and opened the toy, he wasnted to spin the plastic lid of the kettle. He seemed a bit anxious about it. Placed it on the floor and tried to not spin but at the end he couldn't help and started spinning. I took it away and he cried. Then there was another small lid in the teaset, he did the same thing, first he said "No, spin is over" (in our native language). Again in a few minutes he couldn't control himself and started spinning, I took that one away too and he cried again. No big tantrums but a couple of screams and 2-3 mins crying. I don't know whether I am doing the right thing but it makes me really really anxious and depressed when he does it. I want him to forget this behaviour anymore. Most interesting thing was him trying to control it, not to do it at the beginning. Obviously my mum and dad today tried to stop him doing it. In M&S he ran around and showed me the non working lights on the ceiling. He is a
bit obsessed with bulbs and lights too.

Small children do get all kinds of funny obsessions.My elder,very bright and funny dd went through a hygiene phase that worried me a bit as Dh has rellies with OCD,but she grew out of it (she is four)Oh and she hates any loose threads on her clothes.My 21 month old walks tiptoe quite often,I think at this age they are still experimenting with walking.My friend's Ds was so fixated on the hoover that he even slept with it.(my two shriek and run when the hoover is on,they hate it,I have a rather unkempt looking carpet as a result).Your Ds sounds normal to me,but you are worried,and i can't tell as I don't know you,whether that is some maternal sixth sense that something is not quite right,or if you are simply over anxious and worrying because he is your first and it is all new (we have all been there).I hope you get reassurance from the hv,and a bit of help and support? Meet as many other mamas and toddlers as you can.It really helps me after a day of toddler hell to see another one having an even more appalling tantrum.