Am I overreacting? 13mo with repeated fevers!

[leelums]

Writing this message as my dd is poorly again with a slight cough, runny nose and fever. Went to the GP for a check over and they didn’t seem too concerned, despite telling them that she literally presented the same symptoms just 10-14 days ago. The previous time she had a fever lasting over 7 days and we ended up putting her on a course of antibiotics as we wondered whether it was bacterial — ear infection or similar.

It has been constant with illnesses since early December and I’m really struggling with it all, despite having a very supportive partner. We hear repeatedly it’s “common” for toddlers to be unwell often, but I swear this wasn’t the norm when I was that age, or my siblings’, or parents’ generations.

Is anyone else experiencing this and what advice can you give? She eats very well (all home cooked fresh food — plenty of healthy fats, protein and veg). We also give her D3 — knowing this helps immunity.

It’s so tough when you’re having to juggle being a parent, as well as managing a job, house, etc, as well as my own health and wellbeing (am also getting sick every month or so) and it’s starting to take its toll mentally and physically.

I just feel like we are the only ones going through this. Even her nursery class (she goes 2x per week) only seem to have simple snotty noses. Nothing as bad as what she’s experiencing.

Some children are just quicker to run a high temperature from the same illness. When my children are ill at the same time, one has a snotty nose and the other has a high temperature and often croup.
My siblings and I were constantly ill in the 80s, my children are ill much less than we were.

Thanks - it read more like you’d made the decision about the antibiotics, so just wanted to clarify. Glad you already know that’s a bad idea lol!

I do think a growing population and more kids in nursery settings from a younger age will be making a difference. I also think once you’re out of the toddler years, you quickly forget just how often they were unwell. So you might be comparing to a false memory.

A number of reasons - covid infections are one (a PP has mentioned that), attitudes towards attendance in general population - already had very high levels of presenteeism in this country but push to be even higher, some countries have focused on airborne nature of many viruses, some countries would ask children to stay home with certain illnesses, don’t vaccinate for things like chickenpox so increase susceptibility to things like strep a, don’t offer boosters, downplay lots of things as ‘colds’….meanwhile children (and parents and staff) are getting hammered and their immune systems hammered with multiple viruses at a time…and being told it was ever thus and that this level of exposure is somehow good for immune systems rather than damaging.

I’m talking about England, so I shouldn’t assume you are in England too. Apologies.

This is a really interesting comment and something I did consider (having noticed my health go down the drain since having covid!)

We are doing what we can within our control to support her growing immune system, and I will definitely be prodding the nursery about ventilation etc. This is SO important and such a good consideration to raise. Thank you! X

Thanks for your comment. I wouldn’t say I’m worried just yet about there being something underlying, I am just shocked at the frequency of these reoccurring illnesses she’s getting. Maybe I am just a naive new mum, as all of this is my first time experiencing it, I just can’t get over the frequency of it!! We have one or two weeks of her feeling ‘well’ and then it’s back to the trenches.

I would like to get a general health check and blood profile for myself to make sure things are ok, as I’ve usually been good immunity wise (the odd cold once or twice a year), but for the last 12m it’s been every other month or sooner.

Goodness this sounds awful! Good to hear that the summer time showed improvement though (I pray this is the case for us).

Would you say the second winter season for him was a little better than the first at least? X

This must have been so difficult but so pleased to hear she’s good now and stronger!

Will have to check back in this group again in summer time and again 2026 winter time with updates 😅

Thank you for sharing this. I feel there may be hope for us after all! 🤞🏽

Ahh I feel you on the exhaustion front! It’s so tough isn’t it. Did you ask any questions to your nursery on the hygiene situation?

I am pleased that the frequency for your son has improved xx

Whoa this is a lot for the first year (more than us if I’m honest!) How did you cope with it all mentally? Not sure if you were working too but I am finding the juggle of it all a lot :( x

When my NCT cohort was first in nursery one of the mums asked the Dr if all of the infections are normal and she was told it's not uncommon for them to pick up a new infection every 5 days!!

Part of the problem is once you are run down and pick up one bug you then are susceptible to more.

One winter I had a bad cold followed by the flu followed by a throat infection and the laryngitis in a 6 week period.

We had a bad cold the other week that struck us all down. My 5 yo was the source as she brought it home from school. We were ill for a few days but my 5 months old was ill for nearly 2 weeks as he picked up developed a throat infection on the back of the cold.

We are indoors more than we used to be, coming into contact with more people and travelling more. I used to work at a university and had a difficult time every winter. Between me and my colleagues I shared an office with we came into contact with about 1000 people a week!

NHS article here but I can find you original research papers from before COVID too, from the UK, US, Netherlands - any child at nursery, is basically constantly ill the first year https://www.swlondon-healthiertogether.nhs.uk/professionals/gp-primary-care-staff/persistent-runny-noserhinosinusitis-advice-sheet

Whatever she has now they’ve been around 38-39 or so, but obvs keeping on top of them with Calpol / Nurofen. The last one in Feb went to 40 and the time she was unwell in Dec was also 40.

How did you solve the waxy ear? So sorry to hear her drums burst! That must have been unbelievably painful for her!

We use Snufflebabe as a vapour rub which works great for when she’s congested.

You need to find a doctor who is not lazy and irresponsible.

No doctor should be prescribing antibiotics without clear evidence of a bacterial infection. Your doctor is not doing his or her job.

The 'waxy' ears could have been full of discharge from a perforated eardrum due to infection.

You need to find a better doctor, one who takes their job seriously.

I am really disappointed from the constant lack of critical thinking and care we have received — not from one but multiple doctors and healthcare professionals.

I was quite literally in tears at my GP visit the other day, because I am just totally exhausted and I hate feeling so helpless not being able to make my dd feel better.

We have been referred to a paediatrician and a blood test, but I think in hindsight what we really need is to see an ENT specialist. She keeps tugging her ear and cupping her jaw so something isn’t right. The wax visibly doesn’t look at bad today, but last night she did have D&V.

Feeling emotionally drained right now.

When mine started nursery at 10months and went 2 days a week he was practically unwell every week for 5months. Pleased to say that it only lasted that first year (winter) and he’s honestly been the healthiest of us all ever since!

I did/do give vitamins sept-March even though he keeps so well, just in case. He’s now at school and honestly never off unwell, I think he’s had 1 day off on 2 years

My Dd was like this, literally every other week she would have a full blown cold and also had several episodes of tonsilitis, her temp.at times was 40. Nothing helped, we just had to go through it and she eventually grew out of it at about 2.5 - 3 years.

One of my nieces had the same problem, and they consulted a number of doctors, but nothing helped. Finally one doctor / university professor identified the tonsils as the problem. They took them out, and she's been fine ever since

Mine would vomit when the temps were high. So could be the illness/bacterial infection rather than a d&v bug.

With waxy ears they cant prove its not an ear infection

You will find your baby will be more unwell frequently due to going to nursery. Kids love to share

Op, my 14 month old is a germ box! And isn’t at nursery but with a nanny all week. They do various activities everytime nothing so still mixing with other kids and building immunity of her own. Just know you aren’t alone. I know it’s hard to hear it’s ‘common’ or ‘normal’ when you are exhausted and unwell yourself. I got a little medical box, digital thermometer, ibuprofen and calpol, olbas for baby and those walk plug things plus the vapour bath stuff, saline drops etc all set up as we use/need it so often. I have just given snot bucket :) a Vapor bath. Massaged her down with the baby Vicks, calpol plug in the wall so hopefully she will sleep soundly and feel better tomorrow. Paediatrician said the multivitamin was a good shout so you are doing all the right things

Like PP, my DS (now 8) started pre-school a couple of months before Covid hit, then didn’t go back till late in 2001. At that point he was always ill, and his illness always came with a high temp. 40 was not uncommon, and only then did we start with calpol/nurofen. My MIL was sure something else must be up, but I was also told by the doctor 8+ bouts of illness a year, so basically don’t worry.

DS (now 2), is a wheezer when ill, but seems to have kept surprisingly well, perhaps because of big brother’s germs? I don’t know.

Sorry but it is normal and everyone I know with a child in childcare experiences this. So did my kids.

I haven’t read all the replies but OP I’ve been there. I remember crying going to work one morning as I knew she was about to brew another sickness and I just dreaded the constant calls to collect her. Luckily at that time DH was able to work from home with her so that helped. I honestly thought she must have had an underlying serious illness as no one’s child was unwell as much as she was. We even ended up with febrile convulsions and hospital stays. It was just constant non stop. However she is now 13 and in great health .