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Children's health

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Original poster

how to help bedwetting at 16yrs

17 replies

Headingtowitsend · 28/09/2025 17:43

Hi, this has been a issue for years now. Through covid we were seeing a nurse and prescribed oxybutin to possibly help. But ds had poop accident at school(age 14) and point blank refused to even talk about anything from that. He is not having wet nights all the time but at least 1 or 2x a week. At home this is fine but feel we need to really tackle again or in two years he will be heading off the Uni. I really am at my wits end as he refuses to speak about it. Happily washes sheets but we can't ignore it. Also bit of me still worried we might be ignoring something more serious. I just don't know.
Any advice???

OP posts:

Ciderapplevinegar · 28/09/2025 18:07

Has he been tested for diabetes? And is he constipated? Both can cause continence issues.

Original poster

Headingtowitsend · 28/09/2025 18:17

not recently. Trying to get him to listen even if he doesnt want to talk but just don't know how I can get him to the gp. I have even tried to say we need to tackle it in case there is something more serious we need to be aware off that its not just about washing sheets.

OP posts:

Ariela · 28/09/2025 18:25

Try www.eric.org.uk. Lots of advice, alarms etc

Curlyanne · 28/09/2025 18:27

The alarm worked for us at 14 years. The mat one, not the clip one. Never had a dry night before then……

ladybirdsanchez · 28/09/2025 18:28

My DS was still bedwetting at age 10 (yes, I know it's younger), but he went on Desmopressin (a tablet that you take at bedtime) for a few months and that sorted it out. I think it was about three months and after that he was dry. It really is worth talking to the GP about options. He's no doubt absolutely mortified about this and having a chat with his DM and the GP is the last thing he wants to do, BUT this has to be sorted out before he gets any older. He can't be wetting his bed when he goes off to uni.

Original poster

Headingtowitsend · 28/09/2025 18:34

ladybirdsanchez, exactly my point what happened before was awful and I respected his choice to see how it went but now can't ignore it. Actually printed off a sheet and dropped it on his bed for him to read in his own time about desmopressin. Put it that I have hormones to help me feel better(hrt) and he could deal with this but taking something to help him.

have looked at eric and was also going to suggest an alarm if he would try it.

OP posts:

Fullofpudding · 28/09/2025 18:39

Does he have additional needs. At the age of 16 he must be old enough to understand he needs help with this. It’s a massive difference to still having issues at 10 etc.

Original poster

Headingtowitsend · 28/09/2025 18:43

no none, stubborn and just refuses to listen. So moody which makes it even more difficult. Feel like I am banging my head against a wall sometimes. Dh tries but gets the same refusal to talk as me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Headingtowitsend · 28/09/2025 18:51

am sure some will come and wonder why i have left this so long but with a teenager who just refuses to take anything or really care. I stopped washing thinking that might spur him on ages ago but he just does it all.

OP posts:

growinguptobreakingdown · 29/09/2025 03:50

DD16 wet until age 13 when she was diagnosed with coeliac. Stopped gluten and the wetting stopped overnight. Not saying your DS has coeliac bit this is why it's important to go to the GP to rule anything out.
He needs a urine test (rule out urinary infection) blood test, constipation check (feel of the stomach) and an alarm won't work if he actually needs Desmo. In parts of UK there will be a continence service for children which the GP refers to once all of this is ruled out.
Agree ERIC is great. Is he drinking enough in the day to stretch his bladder so he can hold more? Does he limit drinks at bedtime?Is the very last thing he does at night is to try for an extra wee?
I have no answers about how to get him to the GP but if he is totally refusing you could ask for a GP call so you can discuss it with them - they may agree to a urine sample being sent down and a trial of Desmo ober the phone if you ecplain he is embarrassed but I doubt it- especially as he is 16 and his information is now confidential even to you.Worth a try though.
Sorry op- bedwetting is really hard for teens and parents.

IfHeWantedToHeWould · 29/09/2025 12:47

Oxybutinin has been an absolute game changer for my DS and his continence and being dry at night. He’s also on desmopressin but the Oxy makes a huge difference. Did he stop taking it then?

Original poster

Headingtowitsend · 29/09/2025 15:12

Yes just refused to take it as it caused an accident at school which he put down to tablets . Was humiliated so very hard to get him to even consider that again. I have tried countless times to say in the summer have a go while at home.

I now actually feel like crying as looking in his room for a book someone asked for and found two babies nappies in there. Far too small for him so wondering if someone at school has put this in his bag/ locker. Literally not sure what to think.

OP posts:

Flopsy145 · 30/09/2025 10:10

Could you WhatsApp him so it's not a face to face conversation that he might find awkward. Tbh I would probably just book an appointment, not tell him, drive him there and get him talking to a Dr.

Curlyanne · 30/09/2025 10:21

We didn’t find doctors/nurses very helpful and my son found the restrictions that came with the medication difficult. All the fluid diaries, restrictions on when to drink etc are very difficult, especially for teenagers at school.

When my son was ready, when he was 14, the alarm worked really quickly, within 2 weeks. He had never had a dry night before then! Then we used it occasionally when he had the odd accident.

But a year later we have no worries anymore - he can drink whatever he likes and we don’t have to think about it. I think it was about £80 - astric dry bed mat? Definitely worth a try at home before involving the professionals if you can afford it. Our health visitors did loan them out but there was a big waiting list…..

Abominableday · 30/09/2025 10:25

Headingtowitsend · 29/09/2025 15:12

He might have got them himself to try to use at night - some baby changing toilets have them available free. (So hopefully not a bully)

Original poster

Headingtowitsend · 30/09/2025 11:09

Thanks for all the ideas. The alarm idea sounds good. Is the alarm really loud? I know he is a deep sleeper. But will def look into that.

I didn't know that about the nappies for free so gives me a bit of hope he has been trying to solve it himself.

Flopsy145 I would certainly book and drive him if I thought it would work but he would point blank refuse to go in if I ever did that.

OP posts:

Flopsy145 · 30/09/2025 13:53

Headingtowitsend · 30/09/2025 11:09

Thanks for all the ideas. The alarm idea sounds good. Is the alarm really loud? I know he is a deep sleeper. But will def look into that.

I didn't know that about the nappies for free so gives me a bit of hope he has been trying to solve it himself.

Flopsy145 I would certainly book and drive him if I thought it would work but he would point blank refuse to go in if I ever did that.

That's fair enough, what about if you didn't go in with him would that help? He's old enough that he needs to be taking accountability for his health, bed wetting is hardly conducive with uni, possible girlfriend in the future etc. I know you'll know all this but I wonder why he is not taking that all into account and trying to help himself

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