Suspected Autism

[Lizzietalks87]

Hi, looking for advise.
My daughter who is 4 in May went to the speech and language therapist back in the beginning of the year and after 30 minutes she said she she thought my daughter needed to be assessed but we didn't feel she was doing anything put of the ordinary for a 2 year old. She didn't say alot of words maybe 10 at most but since then she has started nursery and now they suspected autism after her only being there for a few weeks, but I feel like they never gave her time to settle in to nursery and be around other children in a setting like that. She now goes to nursery 5 days a week for the full 3 hours a day have no issues with her going her speech has massively improved she can count to 16 say her colours name all her animals and their sounds she can say 3 words put together she says alot. The only things she doesn't say is her needs and wants as in juice or bed mummy daddy, although she can say these words and has said them she does not use them. Everything is actions if she wants juice she gives us her cup if she wants food she goes to her cupboard. It's as if she is too lazy to speak and will only talk when she wants too.

The school have said she wasn't engaging with others which she now is.

Sorry this was long. I'm just wondering if people have experienced the same. I feel she's been pigeonholed far too quick

@Lizzietalks87 I just wanted to say that your relationship with your daughter is not going to be lost because of an autism diagnosis. Not at all! She will be thankful to have such a supportive mum.

What I do take issue with is you saying people lie to get a diagnosis. You cannot lie your way into an autism diagnosis. You just can't. The process is so long and in-depth and involves multiple agencies and specialists. My experience and that of all of those I know with autistic children is that a diagnosis is actually very difficult to get. You also won't get a diagnosis if you don't have it. There is nothing to be gained by lying.

I've just said same. It's just not possible.

I didn't say they got the diagnosis they were actually taken off the list but this person tried her hardest and got her own child to lie about symptoms but clearly she didn't realise that professionals can see through that, I don't care if you take issue with what I said I've seen this happen first hand.

Quite frankly some of these responses have shocked me how passive aggressive some people are. I was simply asking a question I will be deleting my post after this.

You have to understand OP that there are a lot of parents of autistic people on MN. The SN boards were what brought me here almost 15 years ago and it's a place where our autistic young people are fiercely loved and protected.

Having someone say that they are scared of having an autistic child therefore rubs folk up the wrong way sometimes. The 'label' chat is also a bit of a red rag to a bull too. Take a step back but then come back to the thread, there's actually lots of good advice here.

@Lizzietalks87 I wasn't being passive aggressive at all. I'm sorry if it came across that way. Oh I'm not denying you might get the odd idiot thinking they can fool people, but as you say, it's quickly seen through. I agree I don't understand why you'd do that.

The point of my earlier post was to reiterate the huge positives early intervention had on my son, including 1-1 from nursery and funding from reception which made such a huge difference to his progress. The difference between him and sadly, some friend's kids, who have fallen through the gaps is vast. I very much regret not realising my daughter was also ND. While it's being addressed now, I wish it had been much earlier on.

I hope you can find a positive way forward for you and your little girl

Me and my daughter have both been diagnosed with autism this year. I'm in my 30's. Shes almost 10.

I wish I'd known about it sooner, for both of us. Life has been very very difficult for us both and I just couldnt understand why. Now, I'm in my 30's learning ways to support myself that I should of been taught years ago

My DD has missed out on so much support because she seemed "normal" always been great with her speech, advanced at things when she was younger, can communicate easily, it's only been the last 3/4 years I started to recognise she wasnt like her peers and it was an absolute battle to get her her diagnosis.

I really wish someone had noticed in us years ago, would of saved so much trauma

I said what I said. If it offends, oh well. I was warned about the ASD community and seeing alot of these comments I see why it gets a bad name.

I'll take on board the actual helpful comments.
I won't be replying anymore.

She sounds like my autistic daughter.

It's hard to tell how much mine understands, she can demonstrate good understanding but I can never tell whether it's her easygoing nature or if she really does get what I'm saying

Assessment was me talking to a paediatrician while she played with a speech therapist. I didn't tell her she was being assessed, I told her what I always tell her which is that we are going to go and play with some nice ladies (it's literally all been ladies! And previous assessments were audiology/speech therapists)

Very non invasive and I can only see it being upsetting for children who are obviously very autistic and presumably they would be able to see it quickly. Having a diagnosis was difficult to take in but she's still the same lovely girl she was before. I don't know why I thought having a child with autism would be this terrible thing, my friends older son is autistic and he's absolutely fantastic!

I'd rather have the diagnosis and not need it than need it and not have it. It took me nearly a year to get a diagnosis and that was quick.

I was warned about the ASD community and seeing alot of these comments I see why it gets a bad name

A few posts up you say your shocked at passive aggressive comments and then you post a passive aggressive comment yourself 🙄

Very much doubt anyone "warned" you about the ASD community. What a horrid thing to say

Probably best you dont bother coming back to the thread as there have been countless of positive posts and your just being offensive.

OP, kindly, people have been very supportive here, including me, despite being accused of being P/A. What do you mean you were warned about the "ASD community". I've never come across a more supportive community in my life. You appear to be really angry but that is not going to help your child! I don't know why you posted here if you didn't want any of the advice you've been given (or reassurance for that matter).

Remember OP at a nursery they see new, unsettled children all the time. If they referred every child who was unsettled because they were new then it would quickly start to get very silly! Trust them and go with the process, if she doesn't have ASD she won't be diagnosed.

Your dd though will be exactly the same child whether she has the diagnosis or not - but she will be better understood and potentially better supported if she does have ASD and gets a diagnosis.

Children do slip through the net though and doctors sometimes don't have enough evidence for a diagnosis leaving a child undiagnosed. If your dd does get a diagnosis then I would 100% look at getting your ds assessed again as not talking until nearly 5 is extremely unusual. It also sounds like he has struggled a lot.

Please don't think that ASD must mean you will never be able to talk properly, will never be able to go to a mainstream school etc etc DS has ASD and is doing a degree and working - his diagnosis though meant he was offered reduced grades for uni and in interviews for work he was sometimes given the questions in advance. His diagnosis has been really helpful to him as someone who often finds socialising a struggle, can be anxious and is quirky.

It was gently and subtly suggested to us that we had DS assessed when he was just turned 3. I didn't really pick up on the suggestions and put it to the back of my mind.

He ended up finally being assessed and diagnosed when he was 13.

Autism isn't a bad thing. It presents in many forms. But there will be certain things that my high achieving high masker will really struggle with. Diagnosis doesn't make things easier, but it helps to have small adjustments put in place so he can cope.

Less rigid school systems would help a lot of kids cope better. But that's a different issue.

@Gem359 I don’t want to hijack the thread, but would you mind sending me a pm about what uni? This is three years away for us but I have been told (obviously wrongly!) that you can’t get reduced entry grades for autistic young people.

So sorry to hear you are scared of a diagnosis @Lizzietalks87. That's a real thing and if you've been through it before you will know the shock and mourning that most of us SEN parents go through for what might have been. Sending love ❤️