Doctor refusing to let me inform her of concerns about 17dd health

[StripyCarpets]

Made an appointment to see a functional doctor for DD 17. Filled in forms and paid for appointment (£££!).

Simplified version: DD keeps getting ill. Also not taking care of herself in normal teenage way; poor diet, sleeps in daylight hours. I wanted to pass on these two pieces of info to Dr before attending appointment in the hope that she would bear it in mind when making a treatment plan,

Receptionist/assistant came back to me and said that it would not be possible for me to pass on info to Dr as DD is classed as an adult and me telling them things about her compromises her privacy,

I've cancelled the appointment because it just seems very awkward and frankly not sensible, but is it even right?

I've spoken to my dad's GP before about concerns, GP made it clear that obvs he can't comment on anything, but is willing and happy to listen.

Psychotropic drugs? X

No idea what a functional doctor is but just get her to a normal GP and ask for a full blood test to start with and take it from there.

Why don't you go to the appointment with her and mention it then if she doesn't say it herself.

her lack of exposure to daylight is in the range of abnormal.

so what do you think would be a good solution? I’m assuming you’ve told her to go outside and she hasn’t? Will she go outside if a dr tells her to?

She should at the very least see a normal GP and have a full blood test done to find out if there are any issues. As well as adopting a healthier lifestyle (another battle with teenagers these days!)

Sometimes MN can be so nice and supportive and other times so cruel…
I am sure OP is worried and is looking for further help for her daughter. Sleeping all day is not fully normal at 17 - why not pay and go in more detail if you can afford it.
I would still send her if she’s willing to go. I would ask your daughter to mention things. And hope, that she shares what was said with you afterwards.
Good luck x

Yabu. Your dads gp should not have spoken to you either.

Functional doctors / practitioners can often be people who have studied medicine the traditional way and gone into this specialism due to having personal experiences and seeing how this helps.

For example, chronic conditions see little improvement with traditional medicines. And traditional medicine very much focuses on pharmaceuticals to treat the problem, instead of investigating the root cause. I understand the caution and that yes if you don't do your research you could be dealing with someone who is a bit dodgy but this isn't always the case.

Functional or holistic or integrative practitioners often work on getting to the root cause of the issue through lifestyle factors like diet, exercise, stress levels, supplements etc. I myself have found more help in this area than my GP for issues I struggle with (endometriosis, chronic fatigue and hormone balances for example)

I don't think any one way is right or wrong, and traditional medicine is also of great benefit and obviously the only way to treat acute non chronic issues and big life changing things like heart attacks that need imminent medical treatment.

Just wanted to share my view because I thought what the majority here seem to think about this until I had personal circumstances that were helped with this approach.

My integrative health practitioner is a fully qualified GP who spends most of her time in her NHS practice. The benefits are that they have time to really get to know you, understand your lifestyle and work with regular full blood tests, scans if appropriate etc. Any meds are regularly reviewed and tweaked, supplements identified and recommended and lifestyle changes advised. It’s science based, grounded in a holistic approach and yes, it’s expensive.

It’s also fascinating to map your blood results over a period of time- I’ve being seeing my practitioner for 8 years.

Why would anyone bash a mother only trying to help her daughter?
🤷🏼‍♀️

You have used this same doctor before and saw good results and improvements in your teenager's health. Then why would you deny your other daughter this same opportunity because of a point of principle. So you have concerns about being able to communicate effectively?

OP, I'm so sorry there is so much ignorance on this thread.

My ds has mitochondrial disease which was only diagnosed when he was 11 because I spent inordinate amounts of time on the internet plugging in his symptoms, getting private genetics testing and then eventually a referral to a functional medicine doctor (who was also a UCLA/Yale trained Pediatric Geneticist). Until then, Ds had seen a hundred conventional doctors and specialists (both in the UK and the USA) who scratched their heads prescribed random medications with serious side effects and mostly just sent him to the hospital/emergency room with no clear direction for what they were testing for. The problem is that in conventional western medicine, doctors are specialist in their particular field and don't look at whole body systems. My ds' symptoms included migraines, eyes issues (including randomly going blind for 3 days), skeletal and muscular issues (at one point couldn't walk for 6 weeks), cyclical vomiting, chronic fatigue, tics, lisps etc. Some days he was completely non-functional and others, he was riding his skateboard around town for 10 hours. He needed a doctor who could look at all his symptoms at once.

Similarly, my dd had periods from hell, chronic fatigue, depression and a variety of other symptoms. She was sent to dozens of specialists who told her to power through it and the other crap that they tell women with medical issues. She was finally (at the age of 19!!!) diagnosed with mild Hemophilia A. Luckily she was not a sporty kid and had never had a hemostatic challenge that could have killed. Now she wears a Medical ID bracelet. I am completely confident that a functional medicine doctor could have figured this out way sooner and saved her a decade of illness.
Back to the OP. Is your dd taking Vitamin D and/or has the GP tested her Vitamin D levels? And a few of the other basic things like B12 and Magnesium?

My guess is that the timing and way you asked to communicate was the issue.

In my experience doctors will listen to info from parents about teens (or from adult children about older parents) but they want to meet the patient first and let them present their issue and goal for treatment. Then the family member can add on, preferably with the patient’s knowledge. This centers the patient, their perceptions, and their control over their own care, and it’s especially important for teens & their parents who often struggle with the change in roles. Sending a short message to your father’s established GP is not the same as a parent wanting to preempt a first visit with a doctor with their own info.

Well I took 16 year old DS2 to the paediatrician this week. Ds2 didn't want to sign anything or talk to the dr. I asked the paediatrician a couple of times of it was ok to speak/sign on his behalf and she seemed surprised I'd even asked. She said he is a child until he is 18.

@MissMoneyFairy
My point was that it isn't inappropriate for a parent to be involved in their 17 year olds health if they are concerned. Functional doctor maybe not so much

This issue doesn’t sound very straightforward it’s not a routine dental check up so at this age I would expect you to go with DD for an appointment to help her: join the discussion, ask questions on her behalf and make notes. Obviously I would expect your DD to be ok with this. If she is ok, she just says : Mum is with me and that’s the end of it.