Plagiocephaly guilt at 8 months

[Freshairandfood]

Hi all. My gorgeous 8 month baby girl has plagiocephaly and I'm really struggling with mum guilt. I only realised it at 7 months and have already seen the health visitor, whose response was just 'her hair will grow and cover it'.

A bit of context - we saw a cranial osteopath from about 2 - 5 months, suggested by our midwife when we were having a lot of feeding difficulties early on (and in view of my 4 day labour, ending in c-section). The osteopath noticed our baby's left-side preference and suggested some exercises. As that hadn't been the purpose of going there and as I hadn't noticed much myself (and was getting to grips with being a new mum) I don't think I focused enough on these exercises and then quickly forgot about them and any head issues.

Fast forward to just over a month ago when I was bathing my baby and suddenly realised she had a very flat head on the left side. I honestly hadn't realised before that and can't believe I was so silly. Turns out my husband, who baths her more, did realise but didn't mention it! Anyway, cue much upset from me, which is still coming to me in waves. I feel so awful that I didn't do the exercises early on and that I probably had her in the bouncer and pram too much. Really feel I've let her down.

I'm struggling to know what to do now. I'm going to call my GP tomorrow, not that I expect much from that. I'll keep at the exercises, though she will not keep her head to the right if I do manage to move it in her sleep! I've waffled on long enough but I'd love to know if anyone noticed their baby's flat head so late and managed to do anything about it, other than a helmet (which I've already ruled out).

Lots of people think I'm worrying over nothing but I'm just feeling really sad about it if I'm honest.

My daughter was also unbothered by her helmet.

I've known loads of babies with flat heads but have never seen a teenager or even a primary school age kid with a noticeably flat head.

Thanks @HelmetMum that's good to hear. I'm glad it's all working out well with the helmet. I'm not really seeing anything in my baby's facial features, it's really mostly the back of the head (and probably ear positioning to some extent). That might be an indication of how moderate or severe it is but I'll look at options for getting a more definitive answer

Re the helmet - it's a mixture of cost, worrying about her happiness in it and a certainty my husband would not agree
the comment about your husband is a concern, would he refuse treatment if it is recommended?

@SnoopysHoose no it's more that he and many others aren't too concerned and are happy with the health visitor's assessment that it's not much of a problem and her hair will grow over it. So I don't think he (and these other family members) would even see the point in investigating any private options - the NHS position seems quite clear. Though if I'm honest I'm not sure I want to either, hence why I was keen to hear any suggestions on here re what people have done. More osteopathy and possibly physio seem like more likely ways forward. Really I'm just keen to see the GP soon as a bit of a tick box and then go from there. This thread has been really helpful

You said your DH would not agree with a helmet, even if recommended by a doctor?
A medical opinion is the one to listen to.

@SnoopysHoose absolutely agree. It's more that a GP is presumably never going to recommend a helmet as that's not the NHS approach/policy. So it was more a question of if we then take it further privately, having received the NHS medical opinion. If I really wanted to pursue the private consultation and helmet option I would have a serious discussion with my husband but I don't think it's where I am right now. But really great to hear the success stories of others and I'll see what happens once we've seen the GP!

Hmm. Our GP and HV was unconcerned too. They were wrong and misinformed.

It is basically this. Some kids have flat heads because, JUST because, they are laying on their backs. As soon as they are sitting it will round out.

Some babies have flat heads because they have torticollis. This becomes plagiocephaly as the baby can't move their neck and therefore head and there is no room to round out.

It's all about chance. Do nothing, your baby had the condition they will have a flat head. The hair may cover it for a time but if they need glasses that could be tricky to fit, there could be issues with braces. Their head looks misshapen.

Get a helmet, they will have had measurements taken and it will be clear what the situation is. The helmet does not hurt. The child gets used to it quickly. It is non invasive and there are no negatives. Except for twatty adults who stare.

My child's head would never have rounded out. We decided to do the helmet as we knew it would do no harm, it very well could do good and we wanted to be able to tell our child we had done all we could to help. For us it worked so well it even surprised the doctor at Harley Street.

My son had this severely and is now fine with a lovely round head. However, more serious is potentially the side preference. Does she still have this. My son had severe torticollis and needed lots of physio. Google it, and if you think your daughter has torticollis, that's what needs tackling. My son is now 6 and no lasting signs of any of this, to reassure you, but we did do LOTS of physio and used something called the 'tortle' (a little hat to position his head) plus a head rest to avoid pressure on his head.

@surreygirl1987 thanks. She still looks more to the left than right and I move her head to the right when she's asleep (not that it lasts) but she is definitely able to move her head to the right. When we did cranial osteopathy she said there was right side tightness but that it had improved a lot after 5 months. So it might just be a preference thing. I'll be mentioning that to the GP either way.

Sadly my little girl is too big for the tortle know. I'm trying to figure out other ways of positioning her in the pram etc so she looks more to the right. Toys, muslins etc!

You don't know any, but I know 2!
One is my cousins son which I mentioned in the link I attached up thread. He had a traumatic birth and a bulging forehead/temporal area on 1 side. His parents were advised against a helmet. He is 12 now and its terribly evident from all angles that he has a large bulge and his head is angled.

The other is a man I worked with. The back of his head was so flat, his 'party trick' was balancing beers on it! 🙄

Good - that sounds promising. We also used to sneak into my son's room to move his head the other way while he slept too... God, I'd forgotten all about that 🙈

@surreygirl1987 I did that quite a bit last night :D What I'm having difficulty with is how to help with her head position in the buggy - I'm not sure a rolled up muslin is the best option!

We bought a head positioner from Mothercare (which unfortunately no longer exists) which 'untilted' his head. I remember how stressful all this was, so I'm sorry! I think anything that does the job is a good option to be honest.

Re the helmet - it's a mixture of cost, worrying about her happiness in it and a certainty my husband would not agree.

If she needs a helmet then any unhappiness at this young age will overwhelmingly fade into insignificance regarding her unhappiness about it as she gets older and her resentment when she realises you didn’t get her one when it could have made a massive difference.

Totally agree. I think you'd regret doing it less than you might regret not doing it.

Would you mind sharing the details of who you saw?

One of mine had torticollis/plagiocephaly. Got a helmet and that sorted it out. Also had intensive physio. It wouldn’t have cured itself and was noticeable. Likely due to growing ‘upside down’ in utero. Why not try the helmet? Better than a lifetime of wonky ears/glasses/jaw/teeth!

Dr Blecher