Concerned about my teen's short stature

[Whentimeisright]

My DS is nearly 14 and about 5ft. I'm about 5ft 2 and my DH is 5ft 8. Neither of our parents are tall. DH had a very similar trajectory - didn't develop until later, was tiny for a while.

DS did blood tests for something else earlier this year and they included some general (not sure what) tests just to check no issues. It was fine.

I know there's a test to measure wrist/bone to see if he's just behind his peers; and I guess if there's an issue he'll be offered testosterone - which we really are not into.

But my understanding is that there is a window for testosterone? Whilst we don't want it, I don't want to close the window either.

Any thoughts? Sit and wait?

Thank you so much, you've really given me a boost!

Thanks so much

I really appreciate this - I worry he'll internalise it, and not feel confident to find love, life etc. He already does a lot of sport and I think he knows (from me!) that the best women go for who he is, and what he can bring to them, not just what he looks like (although he is also v good looking, to be fair).

It's such a minefield; I know that if it wasn't his height, i'd be worried about something else. It's life

How is his diet, activity level and sleep? All three have an impact.

There is nothing you can do and you need to not make a thing of it. DH is not particularly tall at 5'10 and my family are all fairly short. DS1 is not tall. He just stopped growing at about 15. He is now 5'7 at 20. DS2 on the other hand is over 6 foot at 17. It's a big difference and it makes DS1 conscious of his lack of height but there is literally nothing you can do about it unless he has a genetic abnormality.

How is this helpful?

Most men don't like being short and neither does the OP's son.

Boys don’t stop growing until their v late teens. Their backs can keep growing til 20.

He will probably have a major growth spurt when they ‘hulk out’ at puberty.

It’s not easy for boys though, and so many are taller now, and women are not helping by being vocal about wanting 6’ men. Instagram has a lot to answer for about body shape and size.

My DS has just turned 15, he grew about 6" in about 18 months as puberty hit. He's still not tall, but I am less than 5ft and DH is 5'9.
DS is now about 5'4

My DS was 4ft9 aged 15 and asked me to take him to the GP as he was very conscious he was so much smaller than his peers.

He was referred for a raft of test including bone scans, bloods and a synthacin test.

Turns out he has Coeliacs and was immediately put on a gluten free diet.

He's now 21 and is 5ft 9 and has filled out - looking back at photos I didn't realise how gray and poorly he looked and I shall always be guilty I didn't pick up on it.

He was told if he didn't go gluten free his final height would be around 5ft 2 as a result of the gut damage and the inability to absorb nutrients. That was enough for him to stick to avoiding gluten and thankfully he then grew like a weed.

It would be worth taking him to the go and asking if they will test him for coeliacs.

DS at 18 is around 5 6, 5 7. He's hoping for another inch or two, but who knows. It's a huge issue for teen boys as they are growing up, regardless of the reassurance you can give. As with all physical attributes, there's a lot of social media and peer pressure that pushes a norm and the benefits of being tall is one of them.

He had the wrist test a couple of times; the first time at about 13, he was about 18 months 'behind,' so the assumption was he'd have a growth spurt. Then covid hit, and it was impossible to get a follow-up but he didn't get the growth spurt. By the time we got one at 15/16 he had "normalised" and the bones were on par with his age but without any big spurt. He was gutted to have missed the window where growth hormones could have been an option. However, now at 18 he's more resigned to it, or at least has more confidence in himself.

What I would say is for his confidence and to understand for himself I would urge you to push for an appointment with a specialist. I know thats easier said than done unless you go private but it may help him appreciate the factors involved.

If he's only at the beginning of puberty I'm unsure why you'd expect to him to be any taller tbh. The growth spurt happens at a later pubertal stage. (Also parent of a short arse ds)

We are in the same position, my ds is 15 turning 16 next month. He is around 5ft 2" now and I'm hoping for more growth. He seems to be towards the end of puberty so we have started a trial of growth hormone which he has had a good amount of growth from, but it was a huge battle to get it and we have to privately fund. I would suggest trying for a referral to endocrine to see if they have any concerns.

I knew two brothers whose parents were 4'11" and 5'7". They both ended up as six footers. Hopefully he'll catch up.

Growth hormone is released when you sleep, that’s something that seems quite unknown. You can Google and get loads of hits to read up on it. A night won’t make a difference but long term lack of sleep will. My DS is tall and has always been someone who likes his sleep, when a kid he could sleep 12 hours no problem.

DH family are giants, mine are all very short. DS 6ft 4.5, DD 4ft’11. DS best mate is 5ft 5 full grown at 22 as is his brother. His Dad is 6ft and his Mum is 4 ‘11. DS very obviously takes after his Dads side while DD it’s mine and his friend is mighty annoyed he isn’t tall like his Dad. I think these days because so much dating is online his mate has said he is auto filtered out on height by many women. This is why they worry even more these days.

My DD is in year 9, so 13.5 - at least half the boys in her year are about her height or shorter and she's only 5'2"!
The boys are starting to catch up now, puberty starts later in boys that's all, and they tend to have bigger, quicker growth spurts than girls because of testosterone.
Also with you and DH being on the short side with short families, your DS was never likely to be tall, you probably need to work on getting him to come to terms with that. My mum is 5'2" and my Dad 5'11" both of my brothers are average height, neither as tall as my dad.

Our DS was prem and the oldest child in Reception but smallest in school. He was wearing age 2 clothes at 5. He remained amongst the littlest in his cohort until Yr9. At that point he still had small hands and feet but was 5ft 7-8. Yr10 he changed completely - it was like has was a Lego Minifigure and became Playmobil. He’s 19 and still growing.

Something called Medical Mavericks visited school in Yr9. They do a measurement that can see if you have more griwing to do. They said he had a lot and they were right. However, if he’d been 5ft 8” or smaller I wouldn’t have been unhappy.

DH and I both 5ft 9”. My dad was tall, my brother was shorter than me and dh’s dad was only 5ft 6”

Hi all,

Thanks for all the new messages. I really appreciate the time you've taken. To respond generally:

1 - He plays a lot of sport. He's an early riser but I've always insisted on a decent bedtime, so I think he gets enough sleep. I am a very good cook, and keen nutritionist; I always make from scratch so at home he gets a very well balanced diet. He does, however, like his shite - fizzy drinks, sweets, junk food.

I talk to him very openly about how important his diet is for him to thrive. Just like I tell him not to start smoking. He gets it - but he's a teen...

2 - I don't expect him to be very tall. I have come to terms with that. I just would hope him to be average so he doesn't feel self-conscious. 5ft 7 etc

3 - Online dating apps definitely make me feel worried as I know women do filter out short men, which is deeply sad - I actually did meet my DH online, but nearly 20 years ago as it started, and I don't think height was even a choice/option on the website we were on. And if it had been, what would I have thought? It would have been incredibly sad if that had determined my decision not to meet up with DH. DS wouldn't be here, for one thing!

We live in a very shallow, looks orientated culture - just like it feels youth driven now I'm in my early fifties - and despite hugely encouraging DS to have self-confidence, to love himself whoever he becomes - it's a hard wave to ride over.

4 - I don't believe he has celiacs. There's nothing symptomatic that worries me.

5 - I think we've decided to go and see an endocrinologist privately - but I don't really want to take DS at first. I feel like it would get into his head if I start saying let's check him out. I wanted to go for a chat with all the blood tests he'd had, and his current measurements. Would that be a misstep?

I think it depends on your son. For my DS it was absolutely the right decision to involve him from the start. He'd done a lot of internet research on the issue himself so actually talking to a professional helped control some misinformation and frankly it was already 'in his head'.

But you do need to prepare him for how he'll feel if nothing can or should be done. The doctor doesn't automatically mean he gets taller and there will be part of him who hopes it does.

Good luck!

Hi OP, I could have written the same as you, except my son does have ceoliac disease but it's under control so no reason for a short stature. You can have a telephone appointment with a private endocrinologist, we used Dr Ajzensztejn at the Evelina in London, she was very good and then take it from there. Alternatively, I would recommend contacting the Child Growth Foundation charity, they have endocrinologists and endocrine nurses available to talk to for free. Maybe try them as your first call.

Thanks so much. Just to be sure that I'm not missing anything - did your son have symptoms that suggested ceoliac? I can't see any signs that match the symptoms I've read about

@Whentimeisright my son suffered with having a bad tummy all the time and after being fibbed of by multiple gps, we saw an out of hours gp one evening and she suggested he may have ceoliac, had the blood test which confirmed it. Looking back there were definitely other symptoms. Since he has been on a gluten free diet his weight jumped up to the expected percentile but his height did not. It took a long time for anyone to listen, hence why my son has only just started growth hormone (8months or so) and he has already grown 4 times as much as he did in previous years. The endocrine team have said they can't be sure it's the growth hormone or if it's his natural growth through puberty.

Thanks again - so pleased he's on the right path, finally.

@Whentimeisright no problem, if you have any questions in the future drop me a message. the Child Growth Foundation are great and they also have a Facebook page with lots of other parents asking similar questions

Thanks again, I really appreciate it.

@Whentimeisright - my Ds had no symptoms of coeliacs at all apart from short stature and extremely vile wind! Maybe the odd stomach ache which was totally random but nothing that affected his day to day life. Even now if he is accidentally glutened he doesn't have an extreme reaction and only feels off colour for a couple of days like having a hangover. However the damage has still been done.

Having your DS tested even to rule coeliacs out is one less thing to wonder about.