If your young DC is in hospital a lot...

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do you fancy having a support thread?

We are on our 6th admission in three months. With each one I've thought/hoped it would be our last but I'm starting to think this phase might last a while longer.

I find being in hospital with DD really hard but equally feel unimpressed with myself for having any focus on how tough this is for me when DD is obviously the priority.

The basics of looking after yourself as a parent aren't straightforward in hospital, things like getting hold of decent food and finding time to eat it, showering, access to clean clothes etc.

I also find that I feel acute empathy for any child on the ward in distress and for every parent I meet who is in their own tough situation. I whirr things around in my head in the night when I've been woken by one of the other kids crying.

I wonder if we might share some tips that might help each other.

@Yawnandstretch , oh, great ideas on the toys! Usually he is hooked up to an Airvo machine that provides air pressure and oxygen and once he thinks he's better he does try to pull and chew on wires and tubes. I feel so bad for him because he's either so poorly he just wants to be constantly held or super eager to break free from his little cot prison but stuck there as he's connected to the machines.

My fingers are crossed that your little one continues to stay in good health. We made it to six weeks this time, but only because we kept him away from everyone for three weeks over Christmas as I couldn't bear being in hospital over Christmas again like we were last year when he had a bad case of RSV.

Unfortunately no family or good friends nearby who would help out, so it's me and my dh who swap off. But as little one prefers me it usually is me doing most of the time in hospital and my dh cares for our older child. I need to find better ways to cope as I struggle to take breaks and when he's at his worst I often don't even move an inch because I'm just holding him constantly.

@elliejjtiny , Yes, that's it. It's lovely to be alone in a way, but then very isolating and exhausting with constantly caring for a poorly child day and night. I then stress eat and end up feeling even worse, so since we are in so regularly I'm trying to think of ways to better care for myself so I can be strong for my dc.

@flapjackfairy , that's a good idea. We usually bring food from home but then the problem is the microwave on the ward we go on is in a locked room so no easy access and it's hard as it is to get little moments when I can dash off quickly to heat up food.

There should be more of an outcry over this whole system. The way hospitals are run makes no account for children needing parents by their side, it's ridiculous.

I am by no means expert. My DC had a few admissions as babies for RSV but nothing more than a couple of nights.
My DH has had more time in hospital and it's always astonished/horrified me how much a competent grown adult needs an advocate in those circumstances, never mind a child.

Maybe there is a charity which could help? If I was retired and close to a children's hospital it would be a great volunteering job to go and focus on bringing the parents what they need

I do feel for you, admissions are always awful.

I always have a massive crossword book in the hospital bag and a pen for when DS2 naps. Helps me zone out - I can never concentrate on books on books or TV but a clue at a time is manageable. Just having a bag packed at home at all times with clothes, food and equipment for him really helps me manage when he is poorly as previously I have forgotten all sorts of things when we have been rushing. Or my husband has brought me a bag of stuff and it has included seven vests but no PJs or trousers...!

The food thing is always so tough. There is an amazing charity called Sophie's Legacy who provide food and snacks for the parents in the two hospitals we are regularly in - you can just take what you need, at the time you need it (all sorts of weird times!). A brilliant, brilliant initiative and it feels like having a warm hug from someone when you really need one. I wish there was such a thing available in all hospitals as they stays never get any easier.

Hope everyone's DC get a break from admissions for the foreseeable.