Girl Talk - How & when to have the period chat!

[BreatheFocusRelax]

My daughter turned 10 this year.
Her mannerisms have changed over the last few weeks.
She has been getting very snappy & moody.
They have lessons at school about bodies changing but she doesn't like to tell me what they have spoke about so I am unsure on how much she knows.
I didn't have a open relationship with my mother so I never went through any of this with her.
I don't have regular periods so its not like I can tell her I'm on my period cause I can go a year without having one!
How can I bring the subject up without coming on to strong & scaring her?
Any advise would be greatly appreciated!

I would stock the bathroom with pads and liners and use that as a chat. Say they’re there if needed.
Perhaps get her a pouch for her school bag.
I would get a couple books. I got a few for my boys and all cover slightly different content.

The books I said what they were and put in a drawer in their room.

@Jellycats4life
Thank you for sending me that book, I will have a look for it now!
Ahh that is brilliant that your daughter felt that way - Well done you!
Did you go through the book together bit by bit or did you leave her to it?
I just want to make sure that she is prepared & also takes it in her stride!

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads
I will have a look through YouTube I'm sure I will come across the link somewhere for the newshound report!
I have also looked into a starter pack & stock up my bathroom with different types of bits for her.
What's your thought on the period pants?
Again following my above comment, heard good things about them but I haven't used pads since my first couple of periods as I don't like the sensation with pads! x

I love period pants. Find modibodi the best. Practically forget I have my period and mine have gone very heavy. So much better than pads IMO.

I got DD the Milli Hill book when she was about 7. I saw it recommended on Mumsnet. She had a flick through and wasn't that interested, but has recently read it and asked loads of questions. I think she's been talking about it with friends which has stimulated her interest.

I left it to her to read at her own pace and without embarrassment. I said if she had any questions we could talk. We spoke about how old I was when I started, and how I coped. She asked me what products I used and I showed her tampons, pads and washable pads.

She prefers Lil-lets teen pads but also gets on really well with Modibodi period pants. Period pants are perfect for the days (and nights) leading up to a period when you’re not sure when it’s going to turn up. Touch wood she hadn’t had any disasters because period pants keep her protected. Wish they’d been around when I was young.

@BreatheFocusRelax Newsround Period Special]]

You can buy excellent books for boys and girls, about the body, emotional and hormonal changes they are facing. Son bought them for his 10 yr olds. The GC read them in private alone and ask questions as they think of them.

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads
I have just watched it. It was really good, I will watch it with my daughter & then also order her the book someone mentioned - Hopefully she will come to me if she has any questions x

@2bazookas
I think that is a brilliant idea, I am definitely going to have to do that.

Honestly, I just spoke to my daughter throughout her childhood about periods, she's known about periods and sanitary products since she was about 3. She's always known ladies tummies bleed every month if they aren't having a baby. We've just always kind of had it as a very normal thing as I was super aware my mum made it weird and embarrassing. Daughter regularly talks periods with her friends now and they're all quite open..she's 13.

@Zola1
Ah that's brilliant!
Kinda the same as what I went through growing up, my Mum has never been the person to open up to.
Even when I was pregnant (being an adult) I felt so awkward telling her & I found that when I saw her, I would always wear baggy clothes so my bump wasn't visible. Now looking back its such a shame I feel that way.
I don't want either of my daughters to go through that feeling, its horrible.
Because my periods are so hit & miss, it's been hard to have that conversation really. I think if I had a period everyone month it would've been more easier for it to be spoken about.

''@Needmorelego · 26/04/2023 17:20
Schools usually start teaching about periods in Year 5 (at least for the girls - they don't always include the boys at this age).
Have a chat with her teacher about what has been covered in PHSE lessons. She probably knows quite a bit already.''

Nope.

parents should do their job and speak to their kids about important matters like periods, sex and relationship. Not just expect the school to do that for them. That's lazy parenting.

@Greenfairydust
You hit the nail right on the head!
10 points to you for being correct!

I am so sorry I am such a lazy parent, who is completely shocking at what I do!

Damn it you caught me out!

Knew it wouldn't be long before someone hiding behind a screen would like to pipe up & put it all down to lazy parenting!!!!
Clearly there are flies on the walls that have let them know!

My DD learnt about periods in year 4. I asked if they covered what it looked like and she said I don't want to know so I just bit the bullet and said it looks like blood and she said phew I thought you were going to say something scary 😆. So she knows the details and has just asked me questions now and then since.

@teaandtoastwithmarmite
Ah that's brilliant!
When I spoke with my daughter about it she was really chilled which made me chilled.
She said she already knew because of her friends talking & she didn't say anything to me cause at the moment she doesn't have any questions but she knows that I am always around if she does!

@Greenfairydust I never said it should be just down to schools to teach it 🙄. Of course it's not.
I was just saying that for many parents by the time they think they should be "having the talk" their children will have often been taught the basics at school already. That's why it's good to know at what age on the school curriculum these lessons start so parents know how to also talk about it at home. It's also helpful to communicate with school about what are good resources (ie books to share with your child) if the parents need some extra help in explaining things.

@Needmorelego
Couldn't have put it better!

@BreatheFocusRelax it's also a good idea to talk to the school about things like are the girls allowed to use the staff toilets when they are on their periods (because they feel more comfortable that way than sharing the loos with the little 4 year olds) or who is the best adult to ask if you get your period unexpectedly and need a pad (ie does the school receptionist have a supply or a specific teacher).

This is the one I got for DD10 - so positive. DD is really open about talking things through with me and isn't embarrassed at all

Just to say @Mischance I started my period at 13 as a girl.....very late now. But my mum started at 12 and granny at 15.