I feel really sad about DS needing glasses and feel guilty for feeling sad.

[frostytimes]

DS (4) needs to wear glasses (most likely for the rest of his life) and I just feel really sad about it. I feel sad he's going to look a bit different. He is so active and loves swimming and sports and I am sad that this may be made more difficult.
I am very glad that he is being treated and that hopefully this will help him immensely. I obviously haven't shown any of these emotions around him. He's completely taking it in his stride (although we haven't actually got the glasses yet!).
Did anyone else feel this way?

He’s not going to look different because huge numbers of kids need glasses. And he could get contact lenses as a teenager if they bother him.

Oh kids with glasses are so sweet. And there are some very cool specs for adults now. It's not like back in the day.

My DS needs glasses at 5 and will need to wear them forever. I was sad especially as he probably wouldn't have needed them forever if it had been picked up soon but no eye tests were happening due to covid.
However he is now nearly 8 and it doesn't bother me at all, he looks great in his glasses and enjoys picking new frames when his prescription changes. In the future if he is bothered by them he can wear contact lenses like my DB.
The thing I find the worst is that he takes them off for play fighting etc and forgets where he put them!
He wears them all the time a rarely has to be reminded to put them on.

It's normal to feel sad, but you will adjust. Don't feel guilty, it's a natural emotion and it will pass. Just keep being a great mum and encouraging him to wear them once you get them.

Thanks for the replies.
@TheMarzipanDildo sorry I wasn't
clear in what I meant, I didn't mean looks different to other kids, I meant his little face will be different than he does now. If that makes sense? Still gorgeous and I agree kids in glasses are so cute I've always said it so was surprised I felt this way.

@Allthemojitos thank you, it's good to know he manages well and has very few issues with them. I think mine will be the same as he's constantly play fighting!

@Budapestdreams thank you, it really bowls to read kind replies.

My son who is a PE teacher has worn strong prescription (+6.5) glasses from the same age .He wears contacts every day for work . The glasses he gets are superthinned so you dont get that thick lens look nowadays . Make sure you get a spare pair ! He has worn contacts since he was 14. As PP said the glasses are alot more fashionable now too. I often think men with glasses look more handsome !

I’m very short sighted -9.50 both eyes and have worn glasses since I was 4. Nowadays it really isn’t a big deal at all and you can get prescription goggles for swimming too. And of course contact lenses as a child gets older too. My Mum always made me take off my glasses for photos and it’s left me feeling like I don’t look good in my glasses and I absolutely hate wearing mine and I’m sure a lot of that came via my Mums attitude so whatever you do be really positive about them!

DS1 has worn glasses since he was 2, he managed perfectly well with prescription swimming goggles and sports goggles for playing football, rugby and cricket. Now he is much older he wears contacts for sport but glasses for everyday (he can't get on with contacts on a long-term basis). Glasses are so commonplace there's no reason to be sad. Although I remember my SIL having full on waterworks when her son needed them at the age of 11 and was convinced he would get bullied even though by that age half his class wore them!

I don't see the problem or the need to be sad. I wore glasses from about 4, and lived through an era when glasses wearing children got teased. But things have changed.

One of my DDs needed glasses from about 18 months. It was never a big deal.

There are lots of groovy specs for children to choose from and they are seen as a fashion accessory now. One of my GSs wears specs and looks great - they are part of his style and he is fine with them. He is very brainy and it fits in with the mad professor style he has adopted!

Be positive about it - and make sure you have spares at hand as they will break for sure!

My dd (19y) has had glasses since she was 1½ years old and will always need glasses (she's not keen on trying contacts). She has prescription swimming goggles. She doesn't look right without them now

I remember being very upset when told my then 2 year old DS needed glasses but he was born extremely premature and was exceedingly lucky that this was really the only impact.
In the end, both DC have glasses but once your DS is at school, you'll realise just how many children wear glasses now. I assume testing is better than it was years ago..
The range and style of glasses available is also really good now. Eldest DC doesn't even need to wear glasses all the time now but is so used to them that he does anyway
Just be aware though that small boys tend to get through glasses quite quickly 🙄Don't spend a fortune until he's older, that's my advice!

One of my DSs needed glasses from 18 months. It was my mum that was really sad and it annoyed me so much that I possibly overcompensated with positivity which helped any concerns I might have had! He's late teens now and hasn't had a moments concern about it himself, so i have taken his lead in that. Some lads take their glasses off for sport. We went down the route of sports goggles/glasses as DS hated not wearing his glasses. Depends on child and prescription. Go with the flow and always have spares!
The only thing is he has several scars on his face where he's fallen and his frames have cut his face. He was always a physical (risk taking) boy so not much we could do about it. He commented the other day that the scars had really faded. No new ones for a while!
His glasses are just part of his story now. Good luck.

I know what you mean. I had mixed feelings as the severe headaches stopped but they chose fashionable thick, black frames so the appearance changed significantly - for years. With photos, I have always taken some with glasses and some without. Fashions change and now has chosen the opposite - much slimmer, transparent frames which, I think, suit them much better!

Prescription sunglasses are very fashionable now and there is loads of choice there.

I know what you mean, i was sad when told my daughter needed them at age 5, i soon got used to her wearing them that she now looks so different without them.
She's really good wearing them all the time, doesn't have to be reminded, looks after them and loves when it's time for a new frame! Takes about 6 pairs to try on.
If you find they slip down his nose at all you can get rubber ear grips is cool colours: smile.amazon.co.uk/Sport-Eyeglass-Strap-Holder-Comfortable/dp/B078LRPNXT/ref=sr_1_10?crid=3MCKXD9R8VJU2&keywords=kids+glasses+ear+grips&qid=1669196213&sprefix=kids+glasses+ear+grips%2Caps%2C87&sr=8-10

I found out that my daughter needed a fairly strong prescription (+6.5 and +5.5) when she was 4 and they did the eye test in school. I was gutted that I'd not noticed and felt extremely guilty. She took to them like a duck to water and looks very cute in them. A few other children in her class got glasses at the same time so she wasn't alone, and she loved showing them to her friends.

She's had them for six months now, and she looks strange without them. When she says stuff like 'oh, I've forgotten to take my glasses off' when she gets in the bath, proves that they're just part of her now, and cause no bother.

When she's older, there are always contact lenses if she wants them.

Give it time and you'll feel a lot better about it!

Why not turn it into a positive action. Lots of children in the developing world don't have glasses that they need. As he gets older, perhaps he can look into charities that support children's eye health ( so not just vision correction) and raise funds/awareness etc.

You’re more than entitled to feel sad but I have 3 kids in glasses with varying prescriptions from +5 to +10.

I mean it’s not something I felt sad about. They’re not ill. Get some perspective, it’s a pair of glasses. They won’t even look different. For a class of 30 kids there’s usually around 5 minimum in glasses.

I'm a glasses wearer since I was a teenager and it is a total non issue. Trust me, I'm the kind of person who complains over the smallest inconvenience, but glasses wearing is not even remotely a problem. As he gets older he can opt for contact lenses or laser eye surgery if he prefers. I think children in glasses look very cute!

My son has been wearing glasses since he was 3 [ now in his 40's ]. At least now days you get a huge choice of glasses for children. When my son first started wearing them the only option was glass lenses which were bulky and heavy and tortoiseshell arms!

2 out of 3 of my DSs wear glasses so far. They're now 7 and 9.. and both from around the age of 2. My third will most likely need them too and due the opticians soon.
I've never felt sad about it if I'm being honest. It's for their own benefit and I know wearing them helps them massively. They've never been a problem.
A lot of my eldests friends wear glasses in his class also, almost half the class and there's 28 of them - it's never really been made a big deal of and never been an 'issue' as such. It's like the "norm." My 7 YO is one of 3 in his class who wears them.
Don't be sad, it's not an illness.
They also do a good variety of glasses for kids these days - lots of exciting designs and frames to choose from for them X

We've recently had this with my middle DS 🤦🏽‍♀️ he got pushed over at school, the glasses smashed into his face side on and he had a massive gash in the eyebrow. Nothing a bit of glue and sticky stitches couldn't sort. Hasn't put him off wearing his glasses, and it's healed nicely. These things happen glasses or no glasses.
It's just trying to get them to take them off for sports, P.E days and break times if they're being active, things like that, that my boys seem to "forget" 🤣😂 xx

Totally normal not to be happy about it, especially because children's glasses are always getting lost or broken which is something of a pain in the arse. As an adult it won't hinder him at all, but of course perfect vision would be handier.

I understand, it's a difficult adjustment to get used to. But it will be ok. My 9 year old wears hearing aids and they have made such a difference to his hearing and look really good too.

I've worn glasses all my life and can say that the only time they're a problem is when I look in the oven and they steam up. My brother wore glasses from the age of 2 and has always been incredibly sporty - he swam for the county, skied and sailed and glasses never held him back.
The most important thing is for you to make your son feel good about wearing glasses.