My 2 year old won't eat anything, please help me

[rose9826]

I'm at a loss now with my little boy. He's 2 will be 3 in January.
He used to eat so much stuff, I'm talking Shepards pie, lasagne, spaghetti and sausage tins, normal spaghetti, fruit, jam sandwiches, etc.
Now all he will eat is chicken nuggets, sausages, crisps and yogurt, cereal and maybe pasta sometimes. He refuses everything else. He also only drinks juice and won't drink water anymore, only sometimes.
I've spoken to my health visitor about it and she gave me tips and tricks that I've tried and nothing is working. He just turns his nose up and simply will not try any foods that aren't in the group of things he will eat.
He used to eat so much fruit and absolutely loved bananas but now he won't touch any of it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. It's been going on since about summer this year too so a long time for a picky phase.
I've tried getting him involved in picking food, preparing etc and he hates it. I've given options and that doesn't work. Also please note he's quite non verbal at the moment too so he can't explain to me why he doesn't want to eat.
My HV weighed him and he's healthy, she's coming back soon to check he hasn't lost any weight but I'm literally at a loss. Every meal time is such a struggle and I find myself getting so upset with myself and him over it.
Has anyone been through this and what happened, did it get better? I'm scared he'll end up with a feeding tube or something, or that this is just our life and he will never eat anything else so I'll be making chicken nuggets for dinner for as long as he lives with me.
Getting so down and depressed about it, I have no idea what to do

It’s just a phase.

Let him eat what he will eat. Place a new food or a different food on the side of the plate or even on a separate little plate.

If he eats it, fab. Don’t make a big deal. If he doesn’t, just take it away.

He will branch out

Firstly, let him eat whatever he wants for now. Secondly, have you mentioned he’s non verbal to the HV ?

It’s a phase. He is looking for control and attention, so best not to rise to it. He will not starve, he will eat when hungry so I would dish up what everyone is having and he either eats or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t eat just take it away, and by morning he will be very hungry for his breakfast.

Get one of those little plates split into sections. Always put some safe stuff in one or two sections, then a small dollop of what you and dh eat, a new fruit and a new veg.

Then just eat together and say not a word. Take the plate away when done regardless. Don't comment.

I'd be wary of this "it's this or nothing" move - 1. Some kids will literally go days without food and 2. Kids are allowed to dislike some foods, just like grown ups.

This method doesn't allow them to have actual genuine dislikes.

Hiya, yeah that's what I've been doing but wasn't sure if it is just encouraging his behavior to 'get what he wants' if you know what I mean?
And yes the health visitor is aware, she came to see him. He does speak, lots of single words now but you can't have a conversation with him so obviously it's hard to understand what the problem is etc.

My dgs9 is much the same. He'll eat bread, cheese, wraps, pancakes/Yorkshires, bananas, and that's all. He used to eat fruit. (My ddil thinks he's autistic ). He was non verbal until age 4.
Don't stress over it. It doesn't matter. Your DS won't starve.

This is what I WAS doing, but I've realized he really will just not eat haha. So I've been giving him things he will eat afterwards but only because I don't want him to be hungry all night

That was my grandparents attitude when I was left with them. 4 days later and I still hadn't eaten anything.

As an adult I eat perfectly well, I just had to practice at my own pace for a Long Time. It was mainly textures for me.

At 11 my DC has started eating meals
with us again.

Meanwhile I have beaten myself up regularly over chicken nuggets and fish fingers and pizza but took the line of least resistance most of the time.

However here is a tip. Before a main meal sit him at the table ‘ready for dinner’ and give him a small cup of carrot sticks or pepper or cucumber, or pieces of even cheese or ham, essentially unprocessed finger foods. We could sometimes even get away with broccoli….As long as it was finger food from a cup 🤷‍♀️

After the meal you can sometimes do the same with apple slices for example.

Tip 2. For the time being consider his nutrition over a week rather than a day, this reduces the pressure on you!

My son lived for weeks on scrambled egg. They won't starve if he's eating, albeit a limited selection. Other son would only eat things beginning with 'c', but that included carrots and cabbage. Now he'll only eat things beginning 'ch'......chicken, cheese, chips, chilli and chocolate....but he's a strapping 6'+ now and full of beans (but that begins with a 'b'!).

Very little speech approaching 3 and very picky eater I'd wonder if there was possible ASD going on. AFRID is common with ASD, he's very young though so it may not be clear yet. It's obvious you're doing all you can to try and get him to eat healthily but there's only so much you can do, keep doing what you're doing, keep offering little bits of healthy food with things he will eat, and also have a look at vitamins for children. Read up on AFRID as it might help you feel less out of control. It's stressful when they'll hardly eat anything I know :-(

I was going to suggest ARFID like the poster above.
My son is severely autistic and only eats Pom bear crisps and galaxy counters.
Literally NOTHING else. He hasn't ever even tried a chip or a piece of fruit.
It breaks my heart, and am trying to sort something out through the GP.
My son is 12 years old and his eating (or lack of it) consumes my mind daily.
I really hope things get better for your son Op x

Do you have anyone else around that can feed him? I vividly remember going through this phase with both DSs - with me they lived on air and carpet lint, but they would always eat and even try new things with a grandparent, our nanny, at preschool, at a playdate, if we had a play date at home and the other mum fed him, even DH had better luck - it was literally just me. I would make dinner and then hide upstairs while my friend or the nanny fed them sometimes.

I think there is a post on here of mine from 2012 freaking out about it!! I think someone told me on that thread that if they'd eat it with other people it was a phase not a dislike. Now they eat almost anything and it was definitely a phase.

Hiya, thanks for the reply. I've also thought this, however I've already spoken to doctors, health visitors and nursery about concerns of asd and no one is overly worried at all! But I do think if it doesn't improve it could be a separate issue with food if you know what I mean. If it carries on with no improvement I will definitely be pushing for more help and assessments.
He did just randomly eat 2 bananas in a row tho! Lol

This is such a good suggestion! This used to be the case and he would fuss for just me, but now it's everyone, he even screams at his grandad lol.
What I do do that helps sometimes is just leave him to it and literally don't look at him or speak to him and tell others not to while he's sat with a plate and that has helped a few times, he's randomly continued eating after trying to give us the plate! It doesn't work every time though, and if I'm not careful the plate ends up on the floor haha.

It's definitely worth a try - I do think it's all about control and power as noted upthread, but I always felt it was specifically control over me, their mum, they wanted - and I comforted myself by thinking that it showed they had good attachment to me that they felt safe pushing the boundaries this way (probably rubbish but when you're in tears because they're rejecting stuff you know they ate last week, you'll tell yourself anything to feel better!!)

Another thing that sometimes worked was letting them watch Cbeebies while eating - I know it's not ideal to watch a screen while eating but it seemed to distract from the food itself, and then the hand-to-mouth action kicked in, and then they got used to textures/tastes almost unconsciously. And at least I knew some nutrition was going in!!

Just to echo the previous posters - look up ARFID

DD has ARFID and it's honestly not just a phase. She survives on Pom bears , oranges, ham and beef patties from McDonald's

I have ARFID. I’m 33….

My list of safe food is incredibly small and if I throw it up for whatever reason, there is a chance I won’t eat that food again

Hi OP, you could be describing my little boy. He's three non verbal and eats very little. Our problems started just after his second birthday. We have a dietician and a paediatrician involved. I wish when our problems started someone would have told me the following.

1. You can't make him eat. Stop trying to force him. Serve him what he wants.
2. (From a dietician). ARFID is rare. Even a child with ASD will regulate his appetite and it's so rare for a child to starve themselves. Trust that he is eating what he wants and needs.

In short, stop worrying and let him get on with it. You actually can't do anything else really, when you think about it. We have an ASD diagnosis now 😊

I really wouldn't get into the habit of simply getting something else after the meal, the child will very quickly learn they don't need to eat the meal to get what they want. I agree that you should serve different foods up regularly and the child will eventually eat something. If you are really worried try serving the 'safe' food alongside the other food. But try not to worry.

If he used to eat everything, but now won’t eat anything this is not about likes/dislikes but something else. He used to love bananas and now won’t touch them.

I'm not saying he suddenly dislikes the food, but I am saying that putting a plate of dinner down in front of them and saying its this or nothing doesn't give any space to allow for likes and dislikes.

Well he will eat
So to say he won't is not true
So give him what he eats
Add vitamins to his juice
And sit him with you when you eat with optiins of veg etc.
Ds with asd had limited range for years
Not the biggest issue

Sadly I think we are in a financial time when people will have to put food on plates that not all kids will like all the time. I can remember not liking vegetables but still eating the potatoes and other things on the plate. It’s unlikely he will not like everything in a varied meal, every day of the week. If he is pushing away every meal, not eating anything on the plate, this would imply something else is going on in my opinion, but I respect other people feel differently and have other answers.

min any event, wishing you good luck OP. It’s a tricky one!